How can I keep extended family member from walking in unannounced?

My cousin's wife is very "family-needy" and also quite obnoxious (too much history and details to explain) I live in a very small town with my husband and two daughters next to a football field and in a central location in town. For this reason (I think) she always barges in - literally- without knocking, etc. We have a mud room with a glass door and then another door in the winter to keep muddy shoes from the rest of the house. She will walk in with muddy shoes, proceed to take fruit from my fruit bowl while saying "hope you don't mind if I steal a piece..." , pick up any piece of paper on the counter and read it, open my oven door to see what I'm cooking, and start conversation no matter what I'm in the middle of. She even came upstairs and right into the bathroom I was in after my daughter had told her I was in the shower upstairs!!!!! I have tried gently telling her -makes it worse and locks are not an option (I know, scary). what do I do? she is SO RUDE

How can I keep extended family member from walking in unannounced?
No social skills, no respect. Your cousin is the one you need to talk to and let them know how you feel. She's going to get her feelings hurt when the house rules come in so it's easier that her husband tell her. If that doesn't work start putting table knives in the doors. It is up to you to stand up and reinforce the rules. It's your house and you are the queen!!!
Reply:If you can't lock your doors, you are just going to have to tell her bluntly that her behavior is unacceptable. Tracking muddy shoes into people's homes, reading papers on their counters and barging into the bathroom where they are showering is not small-town, needy behavior. That is just deviant. Normal people do not do things like that (especially the shower thing).


You might think being gentle keeps you in good graces with your family, but I bet there are others who would appplaud you for setting her straight in no uncertain terms. I can't imagine that anyone else would appreciate her either.


You are a saint. I would have cussed her out and locked my door a long time ago.
Reply:You need to tell her to stop in no uncertain terms. Two approaches. One, get the hell out of here. Two babble about how nice it was to see her and how you'll speak to her soon, and can't wait to chat while you take her by the arm and gently but firmly ushering her to the door explaining how you are terribly sorry that you are busy and how next time she just needs to call first so she doesn't catch you at a bad time again, while leading her out the door.
Reply:Tell your elders ie other relatives to talk her about it. Or yell at her to get out when she comes in.
Reply:If you refuse to put some type of lock on your door, then I would tape a big sign on my door that read "KNOCK BEFORE ENTERING!
Reply:tell how you behave in front of your fruitbowl... since it doesn't seem to matter to her how she behaves in front of people...
Reply:Sorry, but it seems obvious to me; lock the door.
Reply:OK, small town or not, in this day and age people should lock their doors.





It could just as easily have been some deranged rapist walking in on you in the shower. Cases in point: Bonaparte, Iowa, 15 years ago, old lady murdered cut up, all her pigs killed; Reno, Nv., a couple of months ago, woman sleeping on sofa abducted, body found a week later. Come on! Lock your doors, lady.
Reply:I think locks are the best choice here. They will allow you to set boundaries, and teach her manners, with an impersonal device.
Reply:First - what do you mean locks are not an option? I would get locks on all my doors, give keys to my immediate family members and lock the doors of your house. Second - she is being rude to you by walking into your house without permission, so I would certainly be rude with her. Tell her in no uncertain terms that she is not welcome in your house without an invite. No one can take advantage of you unless you let them. You are letting her take advantage of you.....if you don't put your foot down and stand up for yourself, you have no one to blame but yourself.



skin care