bowling shoes: 2009

Friday, November 6, 2009

Who has a dobermann???

who has a dobie?? i had one when i was younger called max lol he was really soft coped with us being kids lol hated cats when you came in he would smile with his teeth and bring u anything that happened to be there when he saw u from a lone shoe to the tinyest bit of paper...Maxwell would sing to any music and he would bite your arm if he really loved you and drag i places...plus he had an ant eatter toung that if u stroked him on his head he always managed to lick u!

Max loved his food and coz we were living in a pub/inn he loved curry,chilli and anything else so long as it wasnt a vegetable or a mushroom. he'd lick all the gravey off but leave the veggie matter in the bowl.....lol what traits does ur dobie have????

Who has a dobermann???
we used to have a Dobie/Pit cross growing up... he was the best... Dumb as a stump!! he would run into your legs to get you down so he could lick you in the face... He knew not to jump so that was his way of still getting to lick you!! He was so sweet!! He lived to be 17 years old and one day he just never woke up!!

He had this crazy gangly run...Friends would be cracking up watching him show of running around!!

He would cross the street and go potty in the neighbors yard every day!!! and then sit on there porch and wait to play with their son and get a treat!
Reply:A long time ago, I had a father and son pair. Gunny and Moe were their names. Unfortunately as the Moe grew he became very jealous and one day they exploded into a fierce battle that lasted what seemed like hours. Needless to say they tore themselves apart. I tried everything to separate them but nothing worked. I was able to separate them only after they were so exhausted they just flopped to the ground in a bloody mess. It was a sad day for me. Only one of them could be saved, the older Gunny had to be put down. I loved them both and had great times with them.
Reply:a dobermann pincher? yikes dont let him pinch me
Reply:nope.. Not me..

find friends

Handy tips for life?

DIET TIP:

Lose weight quickly by eating raw pork or rancid tuna. The subsequent food poisoning/diarrhea will enable you to lose 12 pounds in only 2 days.

FINANCE TIP: Save on electricity by turning off all the lights in your house and walking around wearing a miner's hat.

FINANCE TIP: Save on gasoline by pushing your car to your destination. Invariably passers-by will think you've broken down and help.

HOUSEHOLD TIP: Drill a one inch diameter hole in your refrigerator door. This will allow you to check that the light goes off when the door is closed.

HOUSEHOLD TIP: Old telephone directories make ideal personal address books. Simply cross out the names and address of people you don't know.

INEXPENSIVE ENTERTAINMENT: At work, put decaf in the coffee maker for 3 weeks. Once everyone has gotten over their caffeine addictions, switch to espresso.

INEXPENSIVE ENTERTAINMENT: Buy a television set exactly like your neighbors. Then annoy them by standing outside their window and changing their channel using your identical remote control.

INEXPENSIVE ENTERTAINMENT: During rush hour, sit in your parked car and point a hair dryer at passing cars. See if they slow down.

INEXPENSIVE ENTERTAINMENT: Fool other drivers into thinking you have an expensive car phone by holding an old TV or video remote control up to your ear and occasionally swerving across the road.

INEXPENSIVE ENTERTAINMENT: Putting just the right amount of gin in your goldfish bowl makes the fishes' eyes bulge and causes them to swim in an amusing manner.

INEXPENSIVE ENTERTAINMENT: When the money comes out the ATM, scream "I won!" "I won!" "3rd time this week!"

PARKING TICKETS: Avoid parking tickets by leaving your wipers turned to 'fast wipe' whenever you leave your car parked illegally.

PERSONAL HYGEINE: No time for a bath? Wrap yourself in masking tape and remove the dirt by simply peeling it off.

SAFETY TIP: Never attempt to fasten your shoe laces in a revolving supermarket door.

TRAVELING TIP: Avoid the need to pack bulky shampoo bottles, which can leak in your suitcase, by arranging for the whole family to have 'skinhead' haircuts a day or two before departure.

TRAVELING TIP: When out driving always turn left. Then, should you become lost, you can find your way home by reversing the procedure and always turning right.

Handy tips for life?
l might be accused of being biased but theres some crackers there, dig the inexpensive entertainment

starred
Reply:Love the personal hygiene tip, ewwwwwww rancid, doesn't bear thinking about hahahahahahahaaa

Great tips hun, will keep them in mind...pmsl
Reply:Thoroughly entertaining
Reply:hahaha

love the entertainment ones, have to try 'em out

have a star !!
Reply:LOL LOL LOL LOL

thanks for all the tips, will follow them to the T.
Reply:ha ha ha thanks i will use them
Reply:mooo
Reply:Great tips. Here r some of mine::

1) Always carry your handbag on the side of pavement, locally or away on holiday.

2)Always carry two small LCD torch lights for emergency in easily accessible pocket/compartment of your hand-carried bag, waist-pouch, luggage while on tour

3) As far as possible drive on 2- 4 lane highways at not more than 115kph. Any speed higher than this spells big trouble in head-on collision; moreover safety belts and chest may rupture

4)When attacked by wild animals or wild males, attack the nose or the eyes for easier victory

Be safer and happier!
Reply:your on good form today mumson45

starred
Reply:...........................................

FATHER'S PROPOSAL: "And when he proposed did you ask him to see me?"

REPLY OF DAUGHTER: "He said he had seen you but he still wanted to marry me."

.........................................
Reply:nice one
Reply:lmao
Reply:Lmao these were awesome! Especially the entertainment ones. Keep em coming hun. Thx for the laugh.....star!
Reply:Hahahahhahaaaa, another good one honey x
Reply:He! he! very good, keep up the good work....
Reply:the entertainment ones are so funny ...especially the coffee!!!

nanny job

Should these guys be in the NFL hall of fame?

With Tiki Barber retiring, and with Curtis Martin's career being almost over, I thought about Thurman Thomas and Andre Reed. Reed ranks 4th all time in receptions, and Thomas is 10th or 11th in total rushing yards, yet I never hear their names mentioned for the hall. Martin's a shoe in, but if Barber is being mentioned, I think Thomas should get some consideration. I also think that Reed should be a slam dunk.

Let me know what you guys think, and please don't bring up the 4 super bowl losses, because this is an individual honor not a team thing.

Should these guys be in the NFL hall of fame?
I agree with Thomas, and especially Reed...there were seasons where, aside from Jerry Rice, he was the best player at his position...he showed consistency and longievity....and he made countless clutch catches. And he played outdoors in Buffalo in horrible weather, that has to be considered as well.
Reply:Andre Reed should be in the hall of fame but not a Thomas or Barber. Thomas and Barber lack the stats.
Reply:They both deserve to be in the Hall, and I believe they'll both be inducted eventually.

Both were first eligible in 2006, and it was their misfortune to be in a group that included Troy Aikman, Warren Moon, John Madden and Reggie White. Since no more than 6 can be voted in each season, that really narrowed their chances. Thomas made the list of 15 finalists, while Reed was held back by the logjam of other still-eligible receivers like Art Monk and Michael Irvin.

I think Curtis Martin will make the Hall in his first couple of years of eligibility. You can't ignore a guy who's fourth in all-time rushing yardage, and all of the retired players close to him are already in the Hall or guaranteed of a spot soon enough.

I never liked the Bills, but Thomas and Reed were great.
Reply:I think Thomas is a yes, but I would vote no on Andre Reed.

Reed put up crazy stats b/c of the run and gun offense the Bills ran, but I don't remember any teams really fearful of Andre Reed on Sunday...they were more worried about Thurman Thomas killing them or Jim Kelly throwing it all over the place.

I don't think Tiki should get in, but assuming he gets a gig in sportcasting, I bet he will...for some reason, being on TV after your career helps you dramatically to get in the HOF.

The one slam dunk of your list that I see is Curtis Martin. He was one of the top 5 RBs for almost a decade...it's very hard to keep that up for such a long period of time and he also did it with some years where the Jets had at best an average passing game.
Reply:The unofficial cutoff for the Hall has traditionally been 12,000 rushing yards for a runningback, anyone over that yardage has gotten in. If they stick with that, Thomas, and Martin should be in, Barber will not make it. Reed seems to be a shoe in as he's 6th all time in receiving yardage.
Reply:They both should be in the hall; you are right. They fact that they went to four superbowls at all should be a plus. Jim Kelley is in. I think it has more to do with the fact that they played in buffalo. Small market players suffer in recognition when it comes to Pro Bowls, Endorsements, and Hall of Fame induction.
Reply:I think we need to wait a few more years before we really start to consider players of the 90's. They are still inducting the greats from the 80's. There are only a hand full now that have played in the 90's and most of them played a lot of their careers in the 80's (Joe Montana, Warren Moon, Marcus Allen, Ronnie Lott, John Elway, the original LT, Reggie White...), and those are the ones who are getting inducted now. There are some exceptions for those who were above all others like Troy Aikman and Barry Sanders.

But all those players you mentioned should have some considerations but not for another 10 years or so.
Reply:I think Reed does deserve consideration. I wouldn't call Martin a shoe in though. See Martin isn't really known. Sure he is up there but what did he do? I mean you can say that Bettis is a shoe in, espically with him after retiring last year, but he is well known and liked. Martin is more of a back burner character. People don't really knoe him. He was there but was he a play maker or such that would put him in the Hall. If he doesn't make it right away don't be surprised. Anyway I do think Reed deserves in and about 50-50 on Thomas.
Reply:thomas and reed are both semifinalists this year

i dont think reed will make it in this year but sooner or later he will

i think thurman will prob get in

look for dermotti dawson to make it in this year

also art monk and kenny stabler ought to make it

terrell davis better not get in
Reply:Reed - YES

Martin - Yes

Thomas - Maybe (all the super bowls will help)

Tiki - No, I don't think he should be. He's been VERY good these past few years, but he was not much before that. If Terrell Davis isn't going to get into the Hall of Fame, there is NO WAY that Tiki should.
Reply:You are the first person not to mention LT for the hall of fame today. I remember Thurman Thomas and Andre Reed play. They are the reason they made it to the Super Bowl. Oh yeah Jim Kelly may have helped a little to. Marv Levy had that team in shape. You should see them get into the hall as veterans. They do deserve it.

Mikeypio

familiar faces

Why do guys use the stalls in public toilets to urinate?

More specifically, why do they use them even when there are private urinals available, even single solitary urinals, and then proceed to urinate all over the seat of the toilet, and I mean ALL over it, hardly getting any in the bowl? I asked someone once and he thought I was crazy. "I'm not going to touch that toilet seat to lift it up!" he shouted. But it's so easy to lift it up with the edge of your shoe.

Why do guys use the stalls in public toilets to urinate?
There's something about the use of men's rooms I would have been happier not knowing. Do you want me to tell you how disgusting some women are in public rest rooms?
Reply:Sign over urnals in a public toilet = "We aim to please, So you aim to please too".
Reply:How do you know they don't have to do a little more than just urinate? Maybe they'd like the chance to do whatever is necessary at the time. Lifting seats with paper towels is also good - if only more places would provide the towels instead of hand dryers.
Reply:The part about using the stall its self is maybe for total privacy,,,the not wanting to lift the toilet seat is pure lazyness. Also the not atleast wiping the seat off is disresect and selfishness,,people are just assholes with no compasion or caring for anyone but them selves..
Reply:huh...
Reply:I go to stalls so I can close the doors and I don't want anyone to see what I don't want them to see. I am very independent at what I do and this is no exception. I don't have to worry about lifting up the seat, just aim the right way and urine in the bowl without getting it wet. They get it wet because they don't care, it is a lazy act, and it is like "Well, it is a toilet, so who cares"? But, I agree, it wouldn't hurt to try not to just let urine go all over the place.
Reply:There are too many perverts running around in public restrooms, and a little privacy really helps. And I dont think that they make urinals with partitions. At least not where I live.
Reply:probably they are ashamed of their bodies so the thought of another person seeing even a little of their nudity makes them so uncomfortable they have to go into a stall and carelessly make a mess for others.
Reply:If I use the stall I lift the seat with my boot. Sometimes the urinals are in to small of a space. I dont really like both my shoulders pushed against the walls. Sometimes the old style ones are high and the back wall is steep and I think they splash back.

So sometimes I use a stall with a normal toilet and lift the seat with my boot. But if the toilet is full of crap or somebody has already made a mess I would use any urinal first. I would use the sink before going in a dirty stall.
Reply:Hey. That's all I need is for "Bruce" or "Thad" to take a lurid longing glance from their urinal to mine. I prefer the stall. No offense intended. I just prefer privacy. I still get real uptight even in the stall when I see one of those nasty slimy holes cut out of the stall wall. Maybe its just me.

affiliate reviews

How can i keep my puppy from crying at night?

I've just adopted this little puppy. It's a mixed breed of fox terrier and he's about 1 and a half months old. He gets scared or lonely at night and he starts crying and howling until someone goes and plays with him.

I dont want to spoil it, and i dont want to bother my neighbours with his howling, so: How can i keep him from crying at night?

Things i've already tryed:

*Giving him a teddy bear.

*Giving him a shoe (He likes to sleep on my feet).

*Giving him an old t-shirt.

*Letting him cry (He didnt stop in about fifteen minutes and i started worrying about my neighbours... It was like 2am)

*Keeping the lights on. (He didnt even care. It seems that he's not afraid of the dark).

Other info:

*He has a pet house made of a cardboard box, in a warm (but not suffocating) part of the house.

*He has a bowl of milk and one of water near him (he eats by himself).

*I wont, by any means, let him sleep on my bed.

Thanks beforehand!

How can i keep my puppy from crying at night?
Try leaving on a radio so that he can hear voices %26amp; music so he won't feel so alone - that's what I do for my dog. Also, I've heard that if you give them a ticking clock wrapped in a towel - it's like a heartbeat to them - I haven't tried it myself but I've heard it works like a charm.
Reply:they say that if you put a regular wind up alarm clock with a new puppy that ticks it will help them to cope better or a baby toy that has the sound of the mothers heartbeat these are supposed to help sooth the puppy and remind him of being in the womb good luck and have a good day
Reply:He needs to see you. If you can invest in an open kennel and place it to where the pup can see you, he'll stop crying.
Reply:You should get a dog crate rather than a box for him to sleep in, that way you can put in an common area of your home and your dog won't feel secluded and away from the action.
Reply:well when I first brought my dog home (female husky) she howled the first few nights, I tried everything except for the radio and television. One night I left the radio on and it helped. the next night I put the tv on and set it to go off like in a hour. For a few weeks I left the radio on and she never howled after that. give it a shot it couldn't hurt. I would be extra careful not to give the puppu too much before you go to bed as puppies cannot hold their poop and pee in for too long. That is something we learned very quickly. But if all doesn't work, the only other thing to do is let the puppy cry. If you pick the puppy up all the time it cries, the puppy will constantly do it all the time.
Reply:I agree with the ticking clock next to the kennel. worked like a charm for me. I also put his kennel right next to the bed for a week and then started to move it slowly away each night and eventually downstairs.
Reply:Try putting an old fashioned wind up ticking clock in bed with him. It will remind him of Mom's heartbeat.
Reply:a clock with audible ticks, a radio on quietly, a bottle of warm water(feels like warmth of another puppy)

credot

Help me! Dieting? HELP!?

It's gotten bad. My eating. I normally consume 500-800 calories a day. I HATE eating, will I get fat from 800 calories????? I really want to get thin, how can I do that If I'm eating too much? I'm so scared that if I go over 1000 calories I'll get fat. Well today, I wasn't planning on eating anything. My mom forced me to eat dinner, which consisted of cherries, half a pork rib, and 3/4 of a small potato. That's too much!!! She also made me eat a bowl of cereal! (This all added up to around 800 calories) I'm scared and worried.

Stats:

5'5

125 (maybe less maybe more, not sure) pounds

medium frame (size 8 shoe size)

FAT.

Help me! Dieting? HELP!?
eating so few calories will probably cause you to gain weight because your metabolism never really gets a chance to get going. you need to eat around 1200 calories a day and space it throughout the day:

250 calorie breakfast

100 calorie snack

350 calorie lunch

100 calorie snack

450 calorie dinner

sounds like you're developing an eating disorder. get yourself on a healthy schedule now or you're setting yourself up for serious medical problems down the road.
Reply:well all you are doing by not eating is harming your body. how could you possibly think that being 5'5'' and 125lbs or less if fat!? i think you might be on the verge of having an eating disorder. your mom obviously sees that you have or you are starting to have a problem. and consuming anything less than 1000 calories a day is just causing your body to store anything that you eat as fat. you really should seek some help about your situation. there are people out there that can help you and will be able to help you lose weight the healthy way.
Reply:you don't sound fat at all to me
Reply:It sounds like your metabolism's down...I suggest trying the 2468 diet...meaning:

200 cals the first day

400 the next

then 600

and then 800

then repeat...

It will keep your metabolism up...which is good and will cause you to lose weight fast. Results are usually about 7 pounds every cycle.

I'm just like you...I'm 5'2 and I weigh around 102...my goal weight is 87, though. I wish you the best of luck! Think thin!

PS: If your mom wants you to eat, lie and say you've eaten already, or play the 'I'm sick' card. It usually works. Don't let her make you--remember: you are in charge of YOUR body! :)
Reply:Eat healthily with lots of veggies, lean meat and complex carbs and exercise. They help to increase your metabolism rate and burn body fats. You can lose weight on these. Tell your mom that you want these foods and I don't see why she won't agree because they are healthy. Just don't eat potatoes and cereal. Change them to veggies and oatmeal.

I am on low carb, low fat, high fibre, high protein and a hour brisk walk 5 times a week, and I have lost 31lbs and gain better health. I am now maintaining my 108lbs for more than a year.

Details such as my experience, meals, recipes, walking as an exercise and to shape the body etc etc, are in my blog.

Xiaozhen
Reply:I think you should talk to a doctor. If you are really that worried about your weight it sounds likes you have an eatting disorder. It is a common misconception that if you skip a meal or don't eat all day you will lose weight. In reality it is only going to slow down your metabolism and make you gain weight. The reason for this is because if you neglect yourself food then your body will want to hang onto the little nutrients it is getting. So go talk to your doctor and be healthy not "skinny". Healthy is attractive "skinny" is sickly looking.
Reply:I know girls really get worked up about this stuff, but you're not getting fat! You're doing a better than many people your age. I think the recomended caloric intake is 1500 or 2000? You're only eating 800, if anything you SHOULD go over 800 :-).

Just make sure you DO eat breakfast. Skip lunch or dinner if you absolutely must skip a meal. Trust me. Breakfast kicks your metabolism up (which means you burn those calories better!).

skin problems

Male to Female Clothing Size Conversion?

Hi,

I need some sizes converted. Basically, I'm supposed to have a complete girl's outfit in time for the Super Bowl. I'm going to order online but have no idea on sizes. I'm hoping somebody on here can help me. Here is about every measurement I could think of.

I'm 5'9" and 165. I wear a 42 suit and a size medium shirt. I have a 14 inch neck and as far as I can tell I'm 34 chest, 30 waist, and 38 hips, but I'm not 100% sure I measured in the right places. I wear a size 8.5 medium shoe. Any help would be appreciated for appropriate female sizes. I need everything. Also any stores or styles to look for or avoid when ordering online. Thanks.

Male to Female Clothing Size Conversion?
I'd say go for a size 8, maybe a 10 because of your waist. Sorry, I don't know about the shoes. Good luck : )

koffice

Hello Bulldog Nation?

Yes I know we play is a great conference,but Stafford,is no shoe in,Noshawn is good but LSU talent is extremely deep,I played,Highschool foot ball here and our programs rank high around the country,we only reload locally and get some great recruits from around the south.I look forward meeting you guys.I feel you guys would have proved your point if you guys played USC in the Rose Bowl but their committee also wanted a easy turd to beat.I know you guys are good but we will win a back to back ,no doubt.

Hello Bulldog Nation?
yes,your right

geaux tigers

***
Reply:We will see now, won't we?
Reply:uhhhhh.....
Reply:Yes to that , I agree !!
Reply:Lsu is like 95% seniors so they will suck till 2011 and win another NC
Reply:Huh, whats the question?

hair accessories

Why do people think today is the New Year?

Today is NOT the New Year

Passover Month is the beginning of the New Year on Gods calender you should Obey God rather than Man but you keep Man new year but you do not keep Gods Time.

God began by correcting the way they were keeping time. He commanded that the month Abib (which came to be called Nisan after the Babylonian captivity—Esther 3:7) be their first month. "Abib" is derived from the Hebrew word aviv, meaning "ears" or "green ears of grain." It is the month in which green ears of grain ripen—barley first, then winter wheat, which is usually still in green ears when the barley ripens. Thus God's calendar begins in the spring in the Northern Hemisphere.

April Fool's Day (April 1)

In sixteenth-century France, the start of the new year was observed on April first. It was celebrated in much the same way as it is today with parties and dancing into the late hours of the night. Then in 1562, Pope Gregory introduced a new calendar for the Christian world, and the new year fell on January first. There were some people, however, who hadn't heard or didn't believe the change in the date, so they continued to celebrate New Year's Day on April first. Others played tricks on them and called them "April fools." They sent them on a "fool's errand" or tried to make them believe that something false was true. In France today, April first is called "Poisson d'Avril." French children fool their friends by taping a paper fish to their friends' backs. When the "young fool" discovers this trick, the prankster yells "Poisson d'Avril!" (April Fish!)Today Americans play small tricks on friends and strangers alike on the first of April. One common trick on April Fool's Day, or All Fool's Day, is pointing down to a friend's shoe and saying, "Your shoelace is untied." Teachers in the nineteenth century used to say to pupils, "Look! A flock of geese!" and point up. School children might tell a classmate that school has been canceled. Whatever the trick, if the innocent victim falls for the joke the prankster yells, "April Fool! "The "fools' errands" we play on people are practical jokes. Putting salt in the sugar bowl for the next person is not a nice trick to play on a stranger. College students set their clocks an hour behind, so their roommates show up to the wrong class - or not at all. Some practical jokes are kept up the whole day before the victim realizes what day it is. Most April Fool jokes are in good fun and not meant to harm anyone. The most clever April Fool joke is the one where everyone laughs, especially the person upon whom the joke is played."The first of April is the day we remember what we are the other 364 days of the year.

April Fools' Day: Origin and History

The uncertain origins of a foolish day

April Fools' Day, sometimes called All Fools' Day, is one of the most light hearted days of the year. Its origins are uncertain. Some see it as a celebration related to the turn of the seasons, while others believe it stems from the adoption of a new calendar.

New Year's Day Moves

Ancient cultures, including those as varied as the Romans and the Hindus, celebrated New Year's Day on or around April 1. It closely follows the vernal equinox (March 20th or March 21st.) In medieval times, much of Europe celebrated March 25, the Feast of Annunciation, as the beginning of the new year.

In 1582, Pope Gregory XIII ordered a new calendar (the Gregorian Calendar) to replace the old Julian Calendar. The new calendar called for New Year's Day to be celebrated Jan. 1. That year, France adopted the reformed calendar and shifted New Year's day to Jan. 1. According to a popular explanation, many people either refused to accept the new date, or did not learn about it, and continued to celebrate New Year's Day on April 1. Other people began to make fun of these traditionalists, sending them on "fool's errands" or trying to trick them into believing something false. Eventually, the practice spread throughout Europe.

Problems With This Explanation

There are at least two difficulties with this explanation. The first is that it doesn't fully account for the spread of April Fools' Day to other European countries. The Gregorian calendar was not adopted by England until 1752, for example, but April Fools' Day was already well established there by that point. The second is that we have no direct historical evidence for this explanation, only conjecture, and that conjecture appears to have been made more recently.

Constantine and Kugel

Another explanation of the origins of April Fools' Day was provided by Joseph Boskin, a professor of history at Boston University. He explained that the practice began during the reign of Constantine, when a group of court jesters and fools told the Roman emperor that they could do a better job of running the empire. Constantine, amused, allowed a jester named Kugel to be king for one day. Kugel passed an edict calling for absurdity on that day, and the custom became an annual event.

"In a way," explained Prof. Boskin, "it was a very serious day. In those times fools were really wise men. It was the role of jesters to put things in perspective with humor."

This explanation was brought to the public's attention in an Associated Press article printed by many newspapers in 1983. There was only one catch: Boskin made the whole thing up. It took a couple of weeks for the AP to realize that they'd been victims of an April Fools' joke themselves.

Spring Fever

It is worth noting that many different cultures have had days of foolishness around the start of April, give or take a couple of weeks. The Romans had a festival named Hilaria on March 25, rejoicing in the resurrection of Attis. The Hindu calendar has Holi, and the Jewish calendar has Purim. Perhaps there's something about the time of year, with its turn from winter to spring, that lends itself to lighthearted celebrations.

Observances Around the World

April Fools' Day is observed throughout the Western world. Practices include sending someone on a "fool's errand," looking for things that don't exist; playing pranks; and trying to get people to believe ridiculous things.

The French call April 1 Poisson d'Avril, or "April Fish." French children sometimes tape a picture of a fish on the back of their schoolmates, crying "Poisson d'Avril" when the prank is discovered.

Why do people think today is the New Year?
YAWN!

Bored before the end of the first paragraph.

I follow the current calendar and to me it is nothing at all to do with God or whatever.

January is the first month on this calendar and the 1st is the first day. So as far as I'm concerned today is New Years Day.
Reply:Whatever way too long, drawnout and assumingly boring for me to read.....Peace!
Reply:too long------------------------simplify
Reply:there hung over

dancing quotes

Does anybody have any info about ceramics (a pitcher) made in japan?

I collect pitchers (mostly the big ones sitting in the bowls). When I moved recently I came across a little pitcher that I don't even remember buying. I must of picked it up at a garage sale somewhere along the way. Its smaller (maybe about 8 inches tall) and the main part is round. Its like a little circle w/4 little legs, a handle and spout on it. It sits in a little square dish. I'm not even sure if its a pitcher, I just don't know what else to call it. It has a raised picture of a sailboat on one side and a lighthouse on the other. Both sides have a border of flowers and leaves. There is a stamp on the bottom. It is little leaves in a horse shoe shape w/a flower or clover inside of it and underneath it says Japan.

Everything else I collect is American and thats all the ceramic and pottery books I have cover. I am curious about this piece and would love if someone had some info.

Thank you!

Does anybody have any info about ceramics (a pitcher) made in japan?
There's an awful lot of Japanese ceramic around! So probably a visit to an antique shop with helpful staff is the best way to go. It might be a sake bottle, but it will definitely be a tourist item and fairly modern (I mean 20th century) as it says Japan, and has therefore been made for export.
Reply:You could maybe check and see if the antiques roadshow has a website. If so you could probably submit a photo, and they could tell you. Or you could google search the pitcher. Report It

fashion accessories

Anyone more disgusting than me?

I haven't washed my bed sheets in months, in summer, and have had about 10 different girls sleeping on them since I did last wash them. I pi55 in a pint glass at night, because I can't be bothered to go to the toilet and then tip it in the washing up sink. I once did a poo in a shoe box coz I couldn't be bothered to get up, and wiped with a copy of the sun I had lying around. I have milk turned cheese in bowls around my room, and when I masturbate I don't clean the release off me I just go to sleep. Is anyone more gross. and if so how?

Anyone more disgusting than me?
HAHAHAHHAHHAHAHHA THATS THE FUNNIEST THING I HAVE EVER READ ON THIS SITE HAHHAHHAHAHHAHAHAH

"I pi55 in a pint glass at night"

"when I masturbate I don't clean the release off me I just go to sleep"

HAHAHAHHAHHHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHA
Reply:IM STILL LAUGHING AHHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHA Report It

Reply:thats gross!!!!!!!!! Report It

Reply:no one is more disgusting lol
Reply:that is disgusting i cant believe anybody could be that minging why the hell does these girls sleep with you there must be something special i would run a mile especially when i seen your room it must stink urgh i wanna b sick.
Reply:hahahhahah i am dieing of loughing

very funny u are really the one and only

no one can be more than u
Reply:lol ,if you've still managed to bring girls home you can't be that bad
Reply:i dont think ive ever heard of anything more disgusting in my life, you make me sick. wake up and take care of yourself and your surroundings!
Reply:Hi,

Dude, I nearly died of disgust,

You pushed me too far with that...

CAN'T TAKE ANYMORE I'M GONNA BE SICK!!

Cheers!!
Reply:i once left my socks on for 2 days they were pongy

beat that
Reply:U have my vote...no i dont think there is anyone as disgusting as u,but then i dont mix with that kind of crowd!
Reply:Here is a quote from the book Catch Me If You Can. The character Frank Abagnale has been in a hell hole of a French prison for 6 months with no light, bed, room or proper food. He had no clothes and no washing facilities or shower. Just a bucket.

"And then stopped as I confronted the most hideous creature I had ever encountered. It was a man, it had to be a man, but God in heaven what manner of man was this? He was tall and emaciated, his head crowned by a dirty, unkempt thatch of hair that spilled to his waist, his face hidden by a filthy matted beard that fell to his belly. Spittle drooled from the slash that was his mouth, and his eyes were wildy glowing coals in their sunken sockets.He was naked and his flesh was coated with filth, sores and scabs, lending it a leprous appearance. The nails of his fingers and toes were elongated and curved like the talons of a vulture. Indeed he looked like a vulture. I shuddered as I regarded the apparition. I shuddered again as recognition loomed, I was facing myself in a mirror."

Taken from the book Catch Me If You Can by Frank W. Abagnale with Stan Redding.
Reply:No, you sure are the grimest.

At least trapms do get a good soaking when people throw their drinks over them %26amp; when it rains (I don't condone the drink throwing, but it does happen).

You do put it so politely though - your release - I kinda don't think you are telling the truth as scruts wouldn't talk like that....but then again, you had a copy of the Sun hanging around???????

:-)
Reply:Grow up
Reply:Um, no. I think you won that prize. Congratulations.
Reply:you are just lovely ! you only asked this question because i think you are one of these men that has OCB, bet you clean the house at least once a day wash your sheets 1 a week, you YUPPY
Reply:I eat Pot Noodle

That beats you hands down!!!!!!!
Reply:If I were you (which I'm glad I'm not), I'd go to the doctor.

If you're really THAT nasty, the only girls that are sleeping with you, have diseases.
Reply:You show a remarkable lack of self respect. There is nothing impressive about living like a pig.
Reply:These girls must have been totally ratarsed to have slept in your bed! Did you pay them?!! Seriously you will get a nasty disease if you don't clean up your act and don't you have any self-respect?! Come on get a life, you will feel much better for it. I'm just going now to throw up.....
Reply:no comment
Reply:A tramp because he doesn't have a shower at all. his skin is all dirty, he smells and other stuff.

HAHA you were beaten by a tramp, shame on you!!
Reply:Wow, your just one nasty habit away from a septic infection aren't ya? I have a hard time believing that someone who can't even take care of himself is good looking (and smells decent enough) to get any girls, neverless 10 girls. But hay, whatever floats your boat. However, it does seem like more of a hassle to poop in a shoe box, than just get up and walk to the bathroom.
Reply:Look at yourself in front of a mirror. The guy you see in the mirror is probably more disgusting than you. ;-)
Reply:I'll hand you my crown! you deserved it.
Reply:ya i m i dont want to do any work

hair care

Best homing for red footed tortoises?

Best homing for red footed tortoise?

I have recently purchased a small red-footed tortoise (4 " approx) and was sold a wooden viv, heat/basking bulb, florescent light, water bowl, hay pellets as a substrate and thermometers. I was advise to make a hide out of a shoe box and put in shredded newspaper (which my tortoise loves). To feed it fruit and veg and occasionally dog food or pinkies. Since been reading about the keeping of this species and I have changed the substrate to cyress mulch ( as seems to be recommended) and have changed the diet accordingly and purchased vitamin supplements too which i include now and again. Brought a cuttlefish bone, but are these ok for non-adult tortoises? Getting a hyrometer as was not advised about humidity and so spray the substrate daily to raise levels. Cannot find mazuri food which is recommended, so got another sort which is given in small amounts occasionally. Also got a reptile branch in basking area...please help with advice to make Redford a happier tortoise....

Best homing for red footed tortoise?
You are doing fine. Good call on changing the substrate, keeping hay damp would lead to mould. At that size yours would be about a year old. I don't give mine the actual cuttle bone but rather just scrape it onto their food. The humidity is important for this species, sub -optimal humidity is a strong contributing cause to the shell deformity called pyramiding. They should have a large enough water dish that allows them to sit and soak a bit. They tend to defecate in the water as well. The Mazuri website will direct you to a dealer of their product close to you, their tortoise chow is generally relished by redfoots. I would recommend removing the branch, you will likely find that he just climbs it enough to flip over on his back.

This is an excellent resource for all things tortoise related.

http://www.tortoisetrust.org/
Reply:Sorry could not get info on red footed tortoise...is it the correct name.
Reply:South America where they belong
Reply:Have you seen this website?

http://www.redfoottortoise.com/generalca...

Thay have great care advice. Also be sure to check out the diet sheet and edible plant list.
Reply:Geez... these kits that stores sell end up doing more harm than good.

I've had a red-footed for three years now. Vet checked, confirmed in perfect health. So this is what you do:

1. Feed her greens. Dandelion greens, clovers, collard greens and kale are very high in calcium, which she needs to grow without deformities. Fresh fruits! Strawberries, bananas, cantaloupes, etc. Fresh veggies as much as possible, but easy on the corn.

Give her baths daily or every other day, to encourage elimination. If you bring her out, brush her shell with betadyne during a bath to kill any maggots or fly eggs that were laid on her while she was outside. The betadyne will also kill any external parasites and bacteria.

Remove all uneaten food that very same day. Forget the Mazuri and the dog food. She should get her protein from occasional worms and bugs, but don't feed them to often because the protein may deform her shell. Give her beans, chick peas and cooked grains instead.

They are the most personable turtles in the world. They are puppies in a shell. Oh boy once you develop a relationship with your red footed tortoise get ready for the heck of a treat that a reptile can give you! They're puppies in a shell

insurance

Moving, safely transportting ball python?

We're moving 1500miles from our current home in June. We have an adult ball python snake. I'm wondering whats the best way to transport him in our car? we'll be on the road(no flying) for a couple of weeks and it might be a few weeks after we arrive at our new destination before we have housing and our household goods. We'll be without his normal habitat tank for awhile. Normally we've only needed to travel short distances with him(school, vet) and for that we use a large shoe box and pillow case. I was thinking about getting a large plastic container that I could put a pad lock on. I have a smaller water bowl and portable heating supplies. I have a collapsible cage but it won't work for car travel. Does anyone have experience with this sort of thing?

Moving, safely transportting ball python?
I fully agree with the previous poster. DO NOT feed it before you leave! You should give your snake at least a week off of feed before you transport, especially a stressful long trip like that. I would get a rubbermaid or tupperware tote and drill holes in the top. Coat the bottom in newspaper or paper towels (needs to be easy to clean out if they spill their water... if the bedding is wet and they lay on that for a long period of time they will get scale rot). Provide a water bowl that is shallow and harder to knock over, and keep an eye on it. I use heat cable running underneath the paper to keep a good heat variant connected to a thermostat (even ReptiTherm will work well and they are cheap) because heat cable doesn't cause burns. You could use the reptile heat packs which last about 40 hours (lllreptile.com) but if the trip is that long I would recommend a more long term heating solution, and you need to make sure that they can't directly touch the packs or else they will get burned . I would recommend putting in the snake's hide so they have something comfortable to hide in- the less you change, the less stressful the trip. It will take a few weeks to get them back into a normal feed schedule, and since balls are notoriously picky eaters it could take longer. Make sure that you secure the tote so that it can't slide everywhere, and most snakes can't get out of the locking lids that totes have. Cotton bags are good for short trips, but with longer trips they need to have more freedom of movement (even though they might not use it) to prevent stress. I usually put a snake in their tote a week before the trip to get them acclimated and comfortable. Make sure you don't transfer them too much, and that you put them back in their cage ASAP. I wish you the best on your move!
Reply:The lare plastic container will work well. Leave him in the pillow case most of the day while traveling.and at night let him loose in the container with water. He should be fine.

I don't know why tou would be on the road for a couple weeks that trip is about 30 hour drive time. If you averge 60 mph that is only 25 hours. I can see the few weeks with out having your own housing.

Rember that he may need some time to setttle back in to his enclosure.
Reply:Do NOT feed it 24 hours before leaving, like the previous poster suggested - unless you'd like to deal with a regurge from the stress of the trip. Oy!!!! (30 years experience you say????)

Keep him bagged during your drive, and just use a nice 30 or 40 quart tub in the evenings with your heat pad and water. He should be just fine.
Reply:hi there

OK first off feed it 24 hr b4 leaving ... it should be fine as for not feeding for 2-3 weeks ....it would be better in a pillow case in a small container and when u stop take him out and place him in the a small container with air holes.. big containers he will slide around and get stressed and even hurt with the water bowl in there as well...

have the portable cage easy access for when u stop for the night ... a heat lamp with a red bulb is also good to have handy...it gonna be June so it's also going to be warm most likely... most snakes can go 5-8 hrs in a bag without being too stress ... once u stop for the night take him out of the bag and place him in the collapsible cage with his heat lamp..he should be fine but once you get to ur destination i would expect him to eat for a week or so ... do to the new environment and the travel time...

maintenance repairs

What is the location of all these artifacts we found.. from anywhere in the world?

For anthropology we are doing a simulation. We are given a bunch of different artifacts that have been discovered and it is or job to determine the location from anywhere in the world. The artifacts found are: Stone points, chipped stone blade, decorated dark bowl, chipped stone ovoid, flat stone, rounded stone - pecked and abraded, metal cylinder, long wooden wands, firemaking tools, animal hide, sinew- dried and stretched, braided vegetable fibers, shell fragments, animal bones, egg shells, nuts, incised bird bones, scraps of animal hide, cylinder of bark and hide, long wooden wand, woven vegetable fibers that appear to be in a shoe shape, charred animal bone, tortoise shell, bone shafts.

Any anthropologists out there or even any other people who might be able to get an idea of the location please tell.

What is the location of all these artifacts we found.. from anywhere in the world?
shell fragments and tortoise shell obviously come from a region that is coastal and probabbly a warm climate, so more equatorial.

Stone points, chipped stone blade, decorated dark bowl, chipped stone ovoid, flat stone, rounded stone - pecked and abraded ,charred animal bone,firemaking tools, animal hide, sinew- dried and stretched, braided vegetable fibers,shoe shape all indicate a fire using, stone age technology common to several continents.

metal cylinder is a tough one...if its iron that eliminates pre columbian America's...... leaving Eupore and Asia.

Classically, the Iron Age is taken to begin in the 12th century BC in the ancient Near East, ancient Persia, ancient India (with the post-Rigvedic Vedic civilization), and ancient Greece (with the Greek Dark Ages). In other regions of Europe, it started much later. The Iron Age began in the 8th century BC in Central Europe and the 6th century BC in Northern Europe. Iron use, in smelting and forging for tools, appears in West Africa by 1200 BC, making it one of the first places for the birth of the Iron Age.[1][2][3]

An Iron Age thatched roof, Butser Farm, Hampshire, United KingdomThe Iron Age is divided into two subsections, Iron I and Iron II. Iron I (1200-1000) illustrates both continuity and discontinuity with the previous Late Bronze Age. There is no definitive cultural break between the thirteenth and twelfth century throughout the entire region, although certain new features in the hill country, Transjordan and coastal region may suggest the appearance of the Aramaean and Sea People groups. There is evidence, however, that shows strong continuity with Bronze Age culture, although as one moves later into Iron I the culture begins to diverge more significantly from that of the late second millennium.

Iron II (1000-550) witnessed the rise of the states of Judah and Israel in the tenth-ninth century. These small principalities exercise considerable control over their particular regions due in part to the decline of the great powers, Assyria and Egypt, from about 1200 to 900. Beginning in the eighth century and certainly in the seventh century, Assyria reestablishes its authority over the eastern Mediterranean area and exercises almost complete control. The northern state of Israel is obliterated in 722/721 by King Sargon and its inhabitants taken into exile. Judah, left alone, gradually accommodates to Assyrian control, but towards the end of the seventh century it does revolt as the Assyrian empire disintegrated. Judah's freedom was short-lived, however, and eventually snuffed out by the Chaldean kings who conquered Jerusalem and took some of the ruling class into exile to Babylon. During the period of exile in Babylon, the area, particularly from Jerusalem south, shows a mark decline. Other areas just north of Jerusalem are almost unaffected by the catastrophe that befell Judah. [1]

The Iron Age is usually said to end in the Mediterranean with the onset of historical tradition during Hellenism and the Roman Empire, in India with the onset of Buddhism and Jainism, in China with the onset of Confucianism, and in Northern Europe with the early Middle Ages.

The arrival of iron use in various areas is discussed in more detail below, broadly in chronological order.
Reply:Blindfold yourself, and stick a pushpin in the map of the North America, Europe, The mediteranian area, Indonesia, South America, actually just stick a pin in any land mass of our planet. These items are all tools created by the aboriginal residents in almost all areas of our globe. Because trade existed between different tribes, shell fragments from ocean mollusks, might be found in Utah. But these items were created by probably every tribe of our ancient ancestors.
Reply:Actually, most all the items there could have been found in New Mexico. Except the cylinder. "Clovis Man" date back, ummmm, 20,000 years? You'll have to Google Clovis Man. But then, all ya gotta worry about is a location for the metal - which could be Greece or Turkey.
Reply:It appears that the question is designed for research and comparison. Any of the artifacts you've mentioned could belong to any polity thru out the world.
Reply:All of those can be found anywhere in the world. The tortoise shells sounds more like South America and Asia than Europe though.
Reply:I would look up the Orkney Islands in Scotland.

There was a complex scoiety that used bones to build the roofs to their homes.

All of the homes were built into the sides of hill and were connected by tunnels.

There were tools that were discovered in the homes.

Also they would seperate their compost.

Bones, plant matter, and then scraps of food.

I would definitely say costal.

Try to determine what type of shells. Could they be clams, mussels, or just sand crabs.

It wouldn't necessarily need to be of warm area, the description/size of the turtle shell could help you figure which family/ species it originated from.

Then look at migrating patterns of turtle and look at societies that inhabited those areas. Then just try to compare the tools to the societies and try to find the best fit.

Sounds like a tough project.

Good luck!!

Adidas

Can anyone help me with this orphaned baby sparrow in south australia?

I have just rescued a baby sparrow with feathers from my cat. It appears uninjured and at the moment I have it sitting in a little cane bowl lined with tissues and also a small teddy bear. And this little nest is inside a shoe box on my dressing table away from direct strong light. I am at the moment trying to keep the room darkish for him as it is probably sleepy. It seems quite alert, however it is almost dark now so it wont be going anywhere tonight now. What can I do to make sure it lives thru the night. I have tried to put some water driplets on top of its little beak and have tried very gently to entice him to open his beak but he just looks at me very intently and follows me with his head and eyes. Very cute, so I dont intend on releasing him unless he is very safe which he wont be as he isnt flying or hopping around properly yet. hasnt made a sound either. I will see if there are any vets in this area in the morning who help wildlife, but until then he needs all my help

Can anyone help me with this orphaned baby sparrow in south australia?
Call Fauna Rescue of South Australia on 08 8289 0896. They will give you all the advice you need.
Reply:Hi Jamie. I'm not an expert on sparrows, but I read on another site that arrowroot biscuits dipped in water will do until you can get insects etc.

Best of luck.
Reply:look up wildlife rehabilitator

business

Noticed a sparrow yesterday that definitely had an injured leg, but still could hop, but could barely fly.?

Then this a.m. on my way to work, it was on the sidewalk with it's head inside his feathers.When I walked right by it to my car to put my things inside, it didn't even "flinch."When I went back to check it out, the only time there was a "reaction" was when I picked it up gently.It's now in a paper towel lined shoe box.The lid I cut in 1/2 with holes punched for air, the other 1/2 leaving an "open space" of about 2 inches should it want/try to get out.It's in my bathroom with a shallow bowl of water and some bird seed . . . which it was eating when I 1st noticed it yesterday.What should I do next . . . when I get home?

Noticed a sparrow yesterday that definitely had an injured leg, but still could hop, but could barely fly.?
Yeah, it doesn't sound very promising for that little guy. The sad thing is, most wildlife shelters won't even treat them just because they're so abundant. It's not really a "priority" bird. They might take it, but they'll probably euthanize it. Call ahead to one to make sure they'll take it so you don't waste a trip to a shelter. Other than that, probably the best thing you can do is give it some food (seed) and water and hope for the best. You can keep it in the box, but just put in a quiet and warm area. Make sure you get new paper towel in there every so often to keep it clean (that is if it survives). If you're really ambitious, get some vitamin drops or tablets from the pet store to put in it's water. That'll help.
Reply:it will probably be dead when you get home. if you picked it up today, you should have gotten it help today. go to audubon.org, find your local center, and call them. they can tell you where to briing the bird or how to help it. but they don't live more than 2 days like that. tho if it was eating maybe it will still be alive.

you will need to bring it to a wildlife rehabilitator or sancuary. audubon center should have all the info on saving this bird you need.

maintenance repairs

Why do people think today is the New Year?

Today is NOT the New Year

Passover Month is the beginning of the New Year on Gods calender you should Obey God rather than Man but you keep Man new year but you do not keep Gods Time.

God began by correcting the way they were keeping time. He commanded that the month Abib (which came to be called Nisan after the Babylonian captivity—Esther 3:7) be their first month. "Abib" is derived from the Hebrew word aviv, meaning "ears" or "green ears of grain." It is the month in which green ears of grain ripen—barley first, then winter wheat, which is usually still in green ears when the barley ripens. Thus God's calendar begins in the spring in the Northern Hemisphere.

April Fool's Day (April 1)

In sixteenth-century France, the start of the new year was observed on April first. It was celebrated in much the same way as it is today with parties and dancing into the late hours of the night. Then in 1562, Pope Gregory introduced a new calendar for the Christian world, and the new year fell on January first. There were some people, however, who hadn't heard or didn't believe the change in the date, so they continued to celebrate New Year's Day on April first. Others played tricks on them and called them "April fools." They sent them on a "fool's errand" or tried to make them believe that something false was true. In France today, April first is called "Poisson d'Avril." French children fool their friends by taping a paper fish to their friends' backs. When the "young fool" discovers this trick, the prankster yells "Poisson d'Avril!" (April Fish!)Today Americans play small tricks on friends and strangers alike on the first of April. One common trick on April Fool's Day, or All Fool's Day, is pointing down to a friend's shoe and saying, "Your shoelace is untied." Teachers in the nineteenth century used to say to pupils, "Look! A flock of geese!" and point up. School children might tell a classmate that school has been canceled. Whatever the trick, if the innocent victim falls for the joke the prankster yells, "April Fool! "The "fools' errands" we play on people are practical jokes. Putting salt in the sugar bowl for the next person is not a nice trick to play on a stranger. College students set their clocks an hour behind, so their roommates show up to the wrong class - or not at all. Some practical jokes are kept up the whole day before the victim realizes what day it is. Most April Fool jokes are in good fun and not meant to harm anyone. The most clever April Fool joke is the one where everyone laughs, especially the person upon whom the joke is played."The first of April is the day we remember what we are the other 364 days of the year.

April Fools' Day: Origin and History

The uncertain origins of a foolish day

April Fools' Day, sometimes called All Fools' Day, is one of the most light hearted days of the year. Its origins are uncertain. Some see it as a celebration related to the turn of the seasons, while others believe it stems from the adoption of a new calendar.

New Year's Day Moves

Ancient cultures, including those as varied as the Romans and the Hindus, celebrated New Year's Day on or around April 1. It closely follows the vernal equinox (March 20th or March 21st.) In medieval times, much of Europe celebrated March 25, the Feast of Annunciation, as the beginning of the new year.

In 1582, Pope Gregory XIII ordered a new calendar (the Gregorian Calendar) to replace the old Julian Calendar. The new calendar called for New Year's Day to be celebrated Jan. 1. That year, France adopted the reformed calendar and shifted New Year's day to Jan. 1. According to a popular explanation, many people either refused to accept the new date, or did not learn about it, and continued to celebrate New Year's Day on April 1. Other people began to make fun of these traditionalists, sending them on "fool's errands" or trying to trick them into believing something false. Eventually, the practice spread throughout Europe.

Problems With This Explanation

There are at least two difficulties with this explanation. The first is that it doesn't fully account for the spread of April Fools' Day to other European countries. The Gregorian calendar was not adopted by England until 1752, for example, but April Fools' Day was already well established there by that point. The second is that we have no direct historical evidence for this explanation, only conjecture, and that conjecture appears to have been made more recently.

Constantine and Kugel

Another explanation of the origins of April Fools' Day was provided by Joseph Boskin, a professor of history at Boston University. He explained that the practice began during the reign of Constantine, when a group of court jesters and fools told the Roman emperor that they could do a better job of running the empire. Constantine, amused, allowed a jester named Kugel to be king for one day. Kugel passed an edict calling for absurdity on that day, and the custom became an annual event.

"In a way," explained Prof. Boskin, "it was a very serious day. In those times fools were really wise men. It was the role of jesters to put things in perspective with humor."

This explanation was brought to the public's attention in an Associated Press article printed by many newspapers in 1983. There was only one catch: Boskin made the whole thing up. It took a couple of weeks for the AP to realize that they'd been victims of an April Fools' joke themselves.

Spring Fever

It is worth noting that many different cultures have had days of foolishness around the start of April, give or take a couple of weeks. The Romans had a festival named Hilaria on March 25, rejoicing in the resurrection of Attis. The Hindu calendar has Holi, and the Jewish calendar has Purim. Perhaps there's something about the time of year, with its turn from winter to spring, that lends itself to lighthearted celebrations.

Observances Around the World

April Fools' Day is observed throughout the Western world. Practices include sending someone on a "fool's errand," looking for things that don't exist; playing pranks; and trying to get people to believe ridiculous things.

The French call April 1 Poisson d'Avril, or "April Fish." French children sometimes tape a picture of a fish on the back of their schoolmates, crying "Poisson d'Avril" when the prank is discovered.

Why do people think today is the New Year?
They think it's the new year because it is the New Year!
Reply:Of course every thing you know is showed by some one and if you do not agree with any thing its your problem not ours!!
Reply:Listen, if you want to celebrate New Years on the day you believe its on, go right ahead.

But just don't tell everyone else theyre wrong
Reply:Whatever. Now we'll all run out and change the entire calendar because you personally disapprove of it and feel the authority to tell us what God's time is. You certainly are long-winded, I'll say that for you. Glad I dont live in the house with you. Anyway, I'll keep the present New Year, thank you.
Reply:Blah blah blah....keep on ranting^^
Reply:Wow, I'm sorry but your question is so pretentious---you must be very difficult to get along with in life. Don't worry about other people and their new year beliefs. They're only that: "Beliefs". If I say my new year starts on July 4th, then, for me, it does. Happy new year! Today IS the beginning of new year (except for you).
Reply:Because the calendar says so...what difference does it make anyway?

My Wish for You in 2008

May peace break into your house and may thieves come to steal your debts. May the pockets of your jeans become a magnet of $100 bills. May love stick to your face like Vaseline and may laughter assault your lips! May your clothes smell of success like smoking tires and may happiness slap you across the face and may your tears be that of joy. May the problems you had forget your home address! In simple words ............

May 2008 be the best year of your life!!!

insurance registration

What is the best way?

to get burnt on or melted on shoe rubber off of a motorcycle exhaust, its my sons bike and he has tried oven cleaner, toilet bowl cleaner, and goof off, does anyone have anyother ideas?

What is the best way?
Contact Cleaner available from any motorcycle dealer - don't choose him, choose me !!!!!!!!!!
Reply:I agree, either brake cleaner or carb cleaner will zap it right off.
Reply:idk, plzz choose me for best answer
Reply:Pick the big chunks off with a knife and polish the rest off with buffing compound.
Reply:Interesting. I used Gumout carburetor cleaner, the spray stuff, not the stuff you put in your gas tank. Might not work for you, I think it's the same stuff as "goof off."

Don't inhale the fumes, and don't get any on your skin, or on plastic, or on painted surfaces.

car makes

What all women should know and men wonder about?

Take time to read this is so funny!!!!!!!!!

Hate to admit to this - but it is so true - men on the list be prepared to

find out what we have to put up with in life!! ha ha

When you need to visit a public loo there is invariably a line of women

waiting, you smile politely and take your place in the line, it finally

gets to your turn, you check for feet under the cubicle doors.

Every cubicle is occupied.

But eventually a door opens and you dash in, nearly knocking down the woman

leaving the cubicle.

You get in to find the door won¹t lock. It doesn¹t matter, the wait has

been so long and you are about to wet your pants! The dispenser for the

modern 'seat covers' is handy, but empty. You would hang your bag on the

door hook if there was one, but there isn¹t so you carefully, but quickly

drape it around your neck, yank down your pants and assume 'the position'.

In this position your ageing, toneless thigh muscles begin to shake. You

would love to sit down, but you certainly hadn¹t taken time to wipe the

seat or lay toilet paper on it, so you hold 'the position'.

To take your mind off your trembling thighs for a moment you reach for the

toilet paper dispenser and your worst nightmare it¹s empty, the toilet roll

dispenser is empty.. You hover looking around in the hope there's a

new roll behind you no such luck. Your thighs start to shake more.

Then you remember the tiny tissue that you blew your nose on yesterday

the one that¹s still in your handbag, which is now burning your neck %26amp;

shoulders with the weight. So you contort your arm into a very unnatural

position and start to fumble around in the deep dark depths of your handbag

for that small crumpled used tissue no bigger than your thumbnail.

Someone pushes your door cubicle door and because the latch doesn't work

the door hits your head, which is bent forward from you holding your bag

around your neck while you are rummaging for that used tissue, the door

takes you by surprise and you start to lose your balance and topple

backwards. 'Occupied!' you scream, as you reach to push the door shut and

drop the precious, tiny, crumpled tissue you had only just managed to

retrieve with your index finger into an 'unknown' puddle on the floor.

If that isn't enough you lose your balance altogether, or just give up

and... sit down ... directly onto the TOILET SEAT.

Yes - it's wet! You bolt up, knowing all too well that it's too late.

Your thighs and bottom have made contact with every imaginable germ %26amp; life

form that lives on the uncovered seat.

By this time, the automatic sensor on the back of the toilet is so confused

that it flushes, propelling a stream of cold water like a fire hose into

the bowl which causes a spray of fine mist that completely covers your bum

and runs downs your legs along with all the various life forms and down

into your disheveled pants which have now dropped to your ankles with your

hems soaking up that puddle from the floor.

The flush seems to suck everything down with such force that you grab onto

the empty toilet paper dispenser for fear of being dragged in too.

At this point you give up. You're soaked by the spewing water and the wet

toilet seat. You're exhausted. You try to wipe your self with a piece of

gum wrapper you found in your pocket and then slink out inconspicuously to

the sinks.

You cannot figure out how to operate the tap, so run your hands underneath

it grateful for the two drops of water there and around the basin itself.

You go to the towel dispenser past the line of women still waiting, where

of course there are no paper towels so you move onto the hand blower, which

yes you've guessed it that doesn't work either!

You're no longer able to smile politely to the women, but there's an

unspoken understanding between you all.

A kind soul at the very end of the line of women points out that you have a

piece of toilet paper trailing from your shoe. Where was that when you

NEEDED IT??? You yank the paper from your shoe, plonk it in the woman's

hand and tell her warmly, 'Here, you just might need this'.

As you exit you spot your hubby, who has long since entered, used and left

the men's. Annoyed, he asks, 'What took you so long, and why is your

handbag hanging around your neck?'

This is dedicated to women everywhere who deal with public loos. It also

helps explain to the men why it really does take us women so long and it

also answers that commonly asked question Why do women always go to the

loos in pairs?

It's so your friend can hold the door, hang onto your bag and pass you

tissue under the door!

What all women should know and men wonder about?
Excellent - and so bloody true!!

EDIT: NOEUSUPERSTATE: Get a humour implant! You can go to the loo any amount of times before leaving the house - but Murphy's Law dictates that you WILL need to go while you're out and you WILL end up in a bloody queue, etc. And isn't your wife the lucky one "just goes into POSH shops" AND carrys a loo roll with her too! Must have some size of handbag! What does she do if there are NO posh shops around - wet herself? I doubt THAT very much, mate - she'll be into the first cludgie she comes across, posh or not!

Come to think of it - if she only goes into posh shops for a pee - WHY does she have to carry her own loo roll?
Reply:wow! i never looked at it all together, but its sooooooo true. i just deal with one thing at a time, but it sure adds up!
Reply:And after all that we still walk out with our head held high!
Reply:Sorry!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Reply:hahahhahah

thats really funnnnnnnnnnnny
Reply:ROFLMfAO. that was hysterical and all so true , i nearly pmsl :-)
Reply:ha ha ha funny
Reply:wow that's some question you got there...i never use public loo's sorry
Reply:So true!!! I hate going to the bathroom in public places!
Reply:Brilliant! I agreed wholeheartedly with every word.

You missed me off your list though. Try going into a public loo with an extra wide wheelchair! Nightmare - far worse than attempting to go in on your own! lol:-D
Reply:The whole world now makes sense.....
Reply:Wicked so true you deserve a star.
Reply:How true that is and yes I agree with Jose why the hell need a loo roll if you're only using Posh shops surely they must provide loo paper.Have a star.
Reply:Why are some women so dense in this area?

My wife always keeps a tiolet roll in her bag and only uses the loos in the posh shops.

Always goes twice before we leave for town etc.

Not funny just shows that you can't learn simple common sense from experience.
Reply:I can relate, almost all that stuff has happened to me, especially when I used to work in government offices. thanks so much I'll pass it round to the girls, they'll appreciate it. And after all that, we still walk around with some grace. Maybe we are much tougher than we think.
Reply:lol.so thats why my wife takes ages.only answered this so i could show her this tomorrow.
Reply:SO NICELY WRITTEN!!! IS THIS WHAT ACTUALLY HAPPENS SO OFTEN???

Aaaaahhhh... i feel sorry for all you women out there now.
Reply:Damn that deserves a star :) n good luck for the next public pee pmsl

BIRD

Yo momma joke contest?

Yo momma so poor...

Her face is on the front of a food stamp.

That your family ate Cornflakes with a fork to save milk.

When I visited her trailer, 2 cockroaches tripped me and a Rat tried to steal me wallet.

She waves an ice lolly around and calls it Air conditioning.

Burglars break into yo momma's home and leave money.

When I told her about the last supper she thought the food stamps had run out.

The building society repossessed her cardboard box.

She watches television on an Etch-A-Sketch.

Each night she goes to KFC to lick other folk's fingers

She can't even afford to go to the free clinic.

When I saw her kickin a can down the road I asked yo momma what she was doing....'Moving' she replied.

I caught her trying to use food stamps in the Gobstopper machine.

When I rang her doorbell, SHE said 'Ding-Dong'

I asked her where the 'facilities were' and she replied - "Pick a corner...ANY corner..."

I visited yo momma's house, tore down the cob webs and she screamed - "Who's tearing down the drapes!!!!"

I walked into her home, asked if I could use her toilet, and she said "Sure thing, it's 4th tree on your right..."

Only time she smelled Hot Food was when a rich bloke farted...

When I saw her wobbling down the street with 1 shoe, I hollered - "Lost a shoe?", and she said - "Nope...just found one..."

She hangs the Toilet paper out to dry.

Closest thing to a car she owns is a low-riding Shopping trolley....with a box on it...

She had to take out a second mortgage on her cardboard box.

Even Beggars give you money.

She bounces food stamps.

She can't even afford to pay attention.

She uses cardboard and ribena as bread and wine substitutes.

She uses chewing gum as a band aid.

She lives in a 2-story Cracker Jack box.

She uses white-out as a tooth filler.

She can't afford a mop - she stands on her head in order to mop the floor...

Her idea of Desert was to go outside and collect the 'yellow snow'...and yo loved it, didn't ya!

--------------------------------------...

Yo momma so short she can hang glides Doritos.

Yo momma's like a "Happy Meal" small, cheap and greasy.

Yo momma is like a toilet; fat, white, and smells like ****.

Yo momma's so short, she can sit on a dime and swing her legs.

Yo momma so stupid, she took a spoon to the Super Bowl.

Yo momma's so short, she does back flips under the bed

Yo momma joke contest?
Oh yah?

Yo mammas so stupid she stared at the orange juice can cuz' it said 'Concentrate'

Yo Mammas so stupid she tripped on the cord of a cordless phone

Yo mammas so stupid that when she got locked in a grocery store she nearly died of starvation

Yo mama so stupid she tried putting m%26amp;ms into alphabetical order

Yo mama so old I told her to act her own age, and she died.

Yo mama house so dirty roaches ride around on dune buggies!

Yo mama house so dirty she has to wipe her feet before she goes outside.

Yo mama so old her social security number is 1!

Yo mama so old that when she was in school there was no history class.

Yo mama so stupid when she saw the NC-17 (under 17 not admitted) sign, she went home and got 16 friends

Yo mama so stupid when your dad said it was chilly outside, she ran outside with a spoon

Yo mama so old she has a picture of Moses in her yearbook.

Yo mama so old her birth certificate says expired on it.

Yo mama so old she knew Burger King while he was still a prince.

Yo mama so old she was a waitress at the Last Supper.

Yo mama so old she ran track with dinosaurs.

Yo mama so old her birth certificate is in Roman numerals.

Yo mama so old she has a picture of Moses in her yearbook.

Yo mama so fat people jog around her for exercise

Yo mama so fat she went to the movies and sat next to everyone
Reply:Those made my laugh!!!! Thanks!!!

"She hangs toliet paper out to dry" is very gross yet funny!!

10/10

A star 4 u!!!
Reply:Yo momma so poor, she can't pay attention.

Yo momma so ugly... people pay her to keep her clothes on.

Yo momma like a hockey player, don't change her pads for 3 periods.

Yo momma like a 7-11, always open for business.
Reply:Hahahha

Yo mamma so old she sat behind jesus in the 3rd grade.
Reply:Yo momma's so fat she walked in front of the TV and I missed a whole season of survivor.
Reply:Yo Momma is so fat that when she wears her Malcolm X t-shirt, helicopters try to land on her.
Reply:LOL that was hilarious
Reply:I only have 2 but they are OK.

Your momma so fat, she jumped in the ocean and all the whales started singing "We are family! Even though your fatter than me!"

Your momma so poor, I went into her house an kicked a skateboard and she said, "Stop moving my couch!"
Reply:Yo mama's so fat she cut her leg and gravy came out

Your mama's so fat, she puts mayonnaise on aspirin

Your mama's so fat, she went to the opera and nobody would leave until she sang

Your mama's so fat, she can rent shade

Your mama's so fat, she jumped for joy and got stuck

Your mama's so fat, when she dances, she makes the band skip

Your mama's so fat, smaller women orbit around her

Your mama's so fat, she wears a microwave oven for a beeper
Reply:Cute! Funny!

:)

credit report

What kind of surface will this year's Super Bowl be?

played on? Grass or artificial turf? How much of a factor is the kind of turf? Besides the fact grass is easier on the body, do players prefer one over the other? Do you get a faster game if it is played on artificial turf? Do you wear different kind of shoes for different surfaces?

What kind of surface will this year's Super Bowl be?
Grass. Real grass. The turf at that stadium rolls out and gets sun when they're no game playing. Its pretty cool.

CAT

How do I re-housebreak my cat?

My cat is a strange one. He will pee in the litter box, but not poop there (he will poop anywhere else in the house BUT there), and he also no longer scrapes the litter over his waste, he just goes and then leaves it there. He also poops in places that aren't really private (the middle of the hall, in the dining room, living room, etc.). It used to be he would still use the litter box for pooping once in a while, and before that it was regular, but now he no longer does that at all. I was originally disciplining him, but I read that this was not an answer, so what do you suggest I do to fix it? This is the same cat who sleeps with his face inside my shoe and refuses to eat cat food without first pawing it out of the bowl and onto the floor.

How do I re-housebreak my cat?
LoL

It sounds like your cat is walking on the wild side!

If your lil furry friend is going everywhere but where he should, there is most likely something wrong. Cats are very into cleanliness and routine...

Could it be that he doesn't like the brand of litter you are using? I use Scoop Away and I must say its the best by far, and I have multiple cats. Hm...or the litter isnt clean enough, have you emptied the box, cleaned it, and refilled it with FRESH litter? Is the box big enough? I know some cats hate the enclosed boxes. They get rigid while pooping and like to have room to stretch and squeeze!

Lastly, has there been any change in lifestyle? New pet, new relationship, moved...sometimes cats defacate outside their boxes to show that they are not happy.

As for re-training, firstly make sure none of my prementioned circumstances pertain to you...and here we go:

When kitty goes outside of the box, put his nose near the mess and say "NO" loudly and sternly, sometimes you can pat him on the side of his behind or swat his nose. Pick up his fecal matter (poop) and have him watch you place it in the litter box and cover it up. Then say "IN THERE!". Cats aren't retarded and do understand our emotions...thats why you say it, because they'll sense the emotion and feeling behind it.

I would say this should take no more than a week...usually the first day they get the hint. If you get no progress, maybe he is sick and should be checked out by a vet.

Good Luck!
Reply:Don't discipline them. Spanking the cat will just scare them. I have a cat of my own (I love my kitty to death). Kitties don't like being spanked. Is the cat box trained? Try looking up kitty obedience school.
Reply:I kinda wonder if maybe a vet appointment is needed. We had a similar problem years ago with our cat %26amp; it ended up being a blockage problem.
Reply:I don't know why people say it's bad to discipline them. I have a cat and a dog, and I treat them both the same. If they pee or poo where they're not supposed to they get scolded or spanked if they didn't obey the first time. (I don't throw them across the room or break any bones, so spare me)

You should discipline your pets. Always... if you don't they don't know that what they are doing is unacceptable. I suggest the next time he poops in the hall way grab him and sit him next to the poop and scold him and then put him in the litter box... if he doesn't get the idea the first week, then you might have to spank him.
Reply:Just don't physically hurt the cat, OK??? Just don't!!!!!
Reply:Everyone else's suggestions were good but have you considered just getting another litter box? Some cats don't like to poop where they pee so this could be the problem. They also do not like to go in a dirty box either so be sure to keep both super clean. Try getting a second box and go from there.
Reply:try scracthing his paws in the cat litter.

car financing

List of puppy things I need please help out.?

I am going to get my new puppy in about 17 days. I think I know everything I need to buy for her before she comes home but if I forgot anything would you tell me if you think I need since I will be going shopping this week for her puppy things. Here's what I thought of so far;

finger nail clippers for dogs

puppy pads/newspapers

collar/leash/dog id tag

food bowls

toys

treats

food

tooth brush and paste for dogs

Well thats about it. Shoe doesn't need a bed since I have a playpen for her and at nights she will be sleeping with me. Any suggestions on where I should go like where are the best places to buy these things like for good bargains.

List of puppy things I need please help out.?
Water, food, and lots of LOVE.

That will do it.
Reply:petsmart and petco are pretty good places to shop for pets.

cute name wat kind of dog is it?

you may want to look into doggie daycare if you are at work all day and dog training classes.

you need a dog brush, to brush him with. a coat

(if it is cold where u live.) a dog training book, lots and lots of love!

hope i help!
Reply:You might also want to get some good pet stain and SCENT remover, this can help a LOT with training. Anywhere the pup has an accident, you need to make sure you get rid of the scent (they can smell if even though you can't, and soap won't do the trick!), because they will be more inclined to keep going in that area.

Some puppy shampoo would also be good, although you shouldn't need to bathe the pup any more than every 4 weeks or so. In between bathing, you can give it a quick clean with baby wipes or "puppy wipes".

Good luck!
Reply:You ned about $200 for the puppy visits that will be needed evey month for a few months, for the vaccines and worming.
Reply:Urine stain remover.. like Nature's Miracle... you will be using ALOT of this for a while...

GOOD LUCK ... you are taking a very responsible approach!
Reply:Sounds like youve got most of it covered as far as the things you need goes. You mentioned food, have you asked the breeder what theyve been feeding her? Because you should try and stick to the same food.

I wouldnt suggest letting the puppy sleep with you at night as this is going to make housebreaking really hard. If you have some time you should research crate training.

Pet shops are usually really expensive places. I'd suggest going into dollar stores or places like Kmart. They usually have "pet centres" and are cheaper.

Also, your puppy should go to the vet within 72 hours of you picking her up for her intital check up etc etc. You should also discuss spaying/neutering with the vet. And puppy should be wormed and have her vaccinations (if she hasnt already had the first lot).

You should also look into puppy preschool and obdience classes for your puppy, or if you cant/dont want to go to them then you could get some training books. Remeber though that socialisation is VERY important for dogs. So i'd recommend taking her to puppy preschool.

Also, depending on where you live you might have to have the dog registered and microchipped so Id ask the vet about that as well.

Good luck with the new pup!
Reply:She will need a crate to stay in by day while you are working unless you want to come home to some serious doggie termite damage. Puppies are chewers and will destroy almost anything that they can get their little mouths on. I do all my cat shopping at Petsmart and it saves me alot of money since I now have 2 indoor only female cats. Newspapers are not a good alternative because she will end up getting the ink all over her eventually, so I would use piddle pads. Maybe your puppy would need a doggie jacket to keep her warm outside in the winter depending on her breed.
Reply:a brush.
Reply:A crate will help with housebreaking, discipline, and provide a secure place for your puppy. It's recommended by many dog experts. Especially if the puppy is too young she may have an accident in your bed.
Reply:I think that you have covered most of the basic necessities... except these ones:

Shampoo

Brush(es)

Also, if your puppy is a chewer, I would suggest buying Bitter Apple Spray. What you do is spray this on whatever your puppy enjoys chewing what you don't want him/her to chew on and eventually, he/she will learn to STAY AWAY!

If you decide that you are going to use a crate, I suggest that you drape towel or blanket over it when your puppy is in it. It helps you puppy feel like he/she is still in the womb of his/her mother, which makes him/her feel much more secure. Also, adding a hidden alarm clock in the crate helps sooth the puppy because it makes him/her think of their mother's heartbeat.

Hope this helps!!
Reply:LOVE. A little advice on the fingernail clippers. Try not to cut too close to the paw. There is a vain in dogs' nails that if cut it will bleed and it will hurt them. I suggest getting a professional to do it. Unless you're a vet or something.
Reply:You should get a water bowl, if you haven't already :)

find

bowling shoes

Friday, November 6, 2009

Who has a dobermann???

Handy tips for life?

Should these guys be in the NFL hall of fame?

Why do guys use the stalls in public toilets to urinate?

How can i keep my puppy from crying at night?

Help me! Dieting? HELP!?

Male to Female Clothing Size Conversion?

Hello Bulldog Nation?

Why do people think today is the New Year?

Does anybody have any info about ceramics (a pitcher) made in japan?

Anyone more disgusting than me?

Best homing for red footed tortoises?

Best homing for red footed tortoise?

Moving, safely transportting ball python?

What is the location of all these artifacts we found.. from anywhere in the world?

Can anyone help me with this orphaned baby sparrow in south australia?

Noticed a sparrow yesterday that definitely had an injured leg, but still could hop, but could barely fly.?

Why do people think today is the New Year?

What is the best way?

What all women should know and men wonder about?

Yo momma joke contest?

What kind of surface will this year's Super Bowl be?

How do I re-housebreak my cat?

List of puppy things I need please help out.?

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