Bad Weekend, Bad Poem
Yesturday I awoke to find that my dog had broke his leg,
My parents rushed and yelled and drove him to the vet,
Later my mother got a call from the vet saying Bo would lose his leg on Monday,
So I went out to tell the other dogs the sad news while my mom bought a peg.
The next hours were both sad and happy,
The only thing we could do was watch the Virginia Tech game,
It was the only thing to cheer any of us up,
For VT would go to the Orange Bowl and that is not sappy!
Now it is December 2,
On this day I awoke to find my Bingo having another seizer,
It seems he did not eat and therefore did not get his medican,
So I ran outside while putting on my coat and shoes.
Bingo will be fine, but I doubt poor Bo will get along,
Now all that is left to go bad is Wally,
The poor pup who is shaking all the time,
What next will go wrong?
Just how bad is the poem?
It's pretty bad.
nanny job
Saturday, October 24, 2009
Questions......?
Who are you?
Frame of mind?
How many rings do you have on?
Lights on or off?
Stay or go?
Smoke?
Kids?
Cell or Pager?
Hobbies?
Vices?
Perfection or Slouch?
Shoe size?
Extra fingers or toes?
Movies or sitcoms?
Drive or walk?
Home cooking or fast food?
Sit or recline?
Alcohol or other?
Be bossed or be the boss?
Dream job?
Bowling or fishing?
Man/boy or woman/girl?
Be as detailed as ya want, im jus bored! :~)
Questions......?
male
calm
none
on
stay
yes
no
cell
running, scrabble
smoking
perfection
9 1/2
no
movies
walk
home cooking
recline
alcohol
be the boss
baseball player
bowling
i am a man
Reply:It's a mystery
Hmmmm
One
Off
Stay
Maybe
yes
Cell
Biting necks
Biting necks
Neither
7
no
Movies
drive
fast food
recline
coke
be the boss
my current job
bowling
me-woman
Reply:I am a college student.
Bored and tired.
I dont wear rings.
Lights off.
Go!!
Yes i smoke
Hell no
Cell
Reading books and writing urban poetry
wtf is that?
Perfection
I cant tell you that...lol 8
Nope 10 toes 10 fingers
Movies
Drive
Home cooking
Recline
Vitamin Water
Be the Bossed....be bossed when kinky...lol
Make-up Artist
Bowling
woman
Reply:Who are you? Diamond Darren
Frame of mind? Curious and hopeful
How many rings do you have on? Zero
Lights on or off? On...wanna see my work
Stay or go? Stay
Smoke? NEVER EVER Never
Kids? None
Cell or Pager? Both
Hobbies? My Guitar and Alcohol
Vices? Ummm Alcohol...Good Booze and expensive beer
Perfection or Slouch? Perfection
Shoe size? 10 ½ and sometime 11
Extra fingers or toes? No
Movies or sitcoms? Sitcoms
Drive or walk? Both
Home cooking or fast food? Sorry Both
Sit or recline? Recline
Alcohol or other? Yes Booze
Be bossed or be the boss? Be the Boss
Dream job? Magazine writer, who writes books every so often...Always had a job as a TV Trivia Writer
Bowling or fishing? Fishing...My mom was a pro bowler
Man/boy or woman/girl? I'm a man and I like women
Okay if she is a 19 year old girl that works too
Reply:Who are you? sad and confused
Frame of mind? same as above
How many rings do you have on? 5 on two fingers
Lights on or off? off to sleep
Stay or go? stay, where is there to go?
Smoke? no, makes me sick to try, but I miss the idea of it
Kids? 2 boys
Cell or Pager? cell, can't live without it
Hobbies? crafts, reading, this damn idiot box, tv
Vices? this damn idiot box, eating habits
Perfection or Slouch? bit slouchy but anal
Shoe size? 11 M, shocking huh?
Extra fingers or toes? nope
Movies or sitcoms? either
Drive or walk? live too far away to walk
Home cooking or fast food? either, depends on the day
Sit or recline? sit
Alcohol or other? other
Be bossed or be the boss? too bossy to be bossed
Dream job? rich bum
Bowling or fishing? bowling
Man/boy or woman/girl? girl still trying to figure out how to be a woman after all these years
Reply:Who are you?
-I am AllyPally
Frame of mind?
-A positive one
How many rings do you have on?
-Normally, I wear 2, engagement and a ring my Dad gave me, but I take them off at night
Lights on or off?
-Depends on what we're doing
Stay or go?
-Stay
Smoke?
-Cigs
Kids?
-Very soon
Cell or Pager?
-Sidekick
Hobbies?
-None
Vices?
-Okay, I think I'm dumb... what is this again?
Perfection or Slouch?
-In between
Shoe size?
-9.5
Extra fingers or toes?
-Ew, neither
Movies or sitcoms?
-Sitcoms
Drive or walk?
-Drive
Home cooking or fast food?
-Home cooking
Sit or recline?
-Recline
Alcohol or other?
-Other
Be bossed or be the boss?
-Be the boss
Dream job?
-Unsure
Bowling or fishing?
-Either
Man/boy or woman/girl?
-Love men, but I am a woman!
Reply:Who are you?
me
Frame of mind?
wrong
How many rings do you have on?
one
Lights on or off?
off
Stay or go?
go
Smoke?
sometimes
Kids?
yup, 3
Cell or Pager?
cell
Hobbies?
need free time for them
Vices?
this
Perfection or Slouch?
deff slouch
Shoe size?
the box they come in
Extra fingers or toes?
nope
Movies or sitcoms?
movies
Drive or walk?
depends
Home cooking or fast food?
home
Sit or recline?
recline
Alcohol or other?
alcohol
Be bossed or be the boss?
both
Dream job?
not this one
Bowling or fishing?
both
Man/boy or woman/girl?
woman
Reply:shrutifruity
sane
none
on
go where?
nope
nope
cell
swimming, reading, studying, yahoo answers, etc.
perfection
8.5
no..though i do have an abnormally short toe
movies
walk
home cooking
recline
no controlled substances for me!
be the boss
doctor
bowling
woman/girl...i'm kinda in the middle.
Reply:Nikki.
Thoughtless.
Zero
Off.
Stay.
No.
Someday.
Cell.
Exercising.
What?
Perfection.
Small.
Nope.
Movies.
Walk.
Home cooking.
Recline.
Water.
Both.
Actress.
Fishing.
Lady.
Reply:i'm leland
healthy frame of mind
no rings or tattoos
lights off
depends if i stay or go
don't smoke
sometimes i kid a lot
cellphone
outdoor sport activities
vices...? nothing bad that u can imagine
perfection
six and a half shoe size
got only ten *hands and feet)
i prefer movies
if its too far..i drive and if its only a few blocks, i walk
home cooking and i always make mine special
depends if ai watch a movie i recline and if not i sit
i prefer fruit juices no alcohol
to be the boss
dream job.. to have good benefits
both bowling and fishing
i'm a man...
how about you...???
Reply:mags
tired
no rings
light on
go
no smoke
2 kids
cell
my kids
vices ?
perfection
10
no extra finger or toes
movies and sitcoms
walk
home cooking
sit
dr pepper
both(have a boss and be the boss)
working with kids
bowling
am a women
Reply:Audrey
Comfortable
One
Off
Stay
No
3
Cell
Internet, music, books, etc....
The price of gas
Somewhere in between
5
Gawd no!
Sitcoms
Drive or walk in the park
My mom's cooking, yum!
Sit
Either one
Be the boss
Pharmacist
Fishing
Woman
Reply:Who are you? me
Frame of mind? too random to tell
How many rings do you have on? none
Lights on or off? off
Stay or go? stay
Smoke? yes
Kids? someday
Cell or Pager? cell
Hobbies?anime and manga
Vices? ...what?
Perfection or Slouch? in the middle
Shoe size?12
Extra fingers or toes? lol neither ^_^
Movies or sitcoms? movies
Drive or walk? walk
Home cooking or fast food? home cooking mmmmmm
Sit or recline? sit
Alcohol or other? alcohol....white russian ^_^
Be bossed or be the boss? neither...be a team player
Dream job? becoming mangaka
Bowling or fishing? bowling
Man/boy or woman/girl? girl
Reply:Who are you?
Angel! :-)
Frame of mind?
Bored!
How many rings do you have on?
3
Lights on or off?
Off
Stay or go?
Stay..
Smoke?
No!!
Kids?
Someday
Cell or Pager?
Cell
Hobbies?
Sing, Dance,Read
Vices?
??
Perfection or Slouch?
Perfection
Shoe size?
8
Extra fingers or toes?
No...
Movies or sitcoms?
Movies
Drive or walk?
Drive
Home cooking or fast food?
Depends on my mood!
Sit or recline?
Sit
Alcohol or other?
Other
Be bossed or be the boss?
Be the Boss!
Dream job?
Journalist
Bowling or fishing?
Fishng!
Man/boy or woman/girl?
Girl
familiar faces
Frame of mind?
How many rings do you have on?
Lights on or off?
Stay or go?
Smoke?
Kids?
Cell or Pager?
Hobbies?
Vices?
Perfection or Slouch?
Shoe size?
Extra fingers or toes?
Movies or sitcoms?
Drive or walk?
Home cooking or fast food?
Sit or recline?
Alcohol or other?
Be bossed or be the boss?
Dream job?
Bowling or fishing?
Man/boy or woman/girl?
Be as detailed as ya want, im jus bored! :~)
Questions......?
male
calm
none
on
stay
yes
no
cell
running, scrabble
smoking
perfection
9 1/2
no
movies
walk
home cooking
recline
alcohol
be the boss
baseball player
bowling
i am a man
Reply:It's a mystery
Hmmmm
One
Off
Stay
Maybe
yes
Cell
Biting necks
Biting necks
Neither
7
no
Movies
drive
fast food
recline
coke
be the boss
my current job
bowling
me-woman
Reply:I am a college student.
Bored and tired.
I dont wear rings.
Lights off.
Go!!
Yes i smoke
Hell no
Cell
Reading books and writing urban poetry
wtf is that?
Perfection
I cant tell you that...lol 8
Nope 10 toes 10 fingers
Movies
Drive
Home cooking
Recline
Vitamin Water
Be the Bossed....be bossed when kinky...lol
Make-up Artist
Bowling
woman
Reply:Who are you? Diamond Darren
Frame of mind? Curious and hopeful
How many rings do you have on? Zero
Lights on or off? On...wanna see my work
Stay or go? Stay
Smoke? NEVER EVER Never
Kids? None
Cell or Pager? Both
Hobbies? My Guitar and Alcohol
Vices? Ummm Alcohol...Good Booze and expensive beer
Perfection or Slouch? Perfection
Shoe size? 10 ½ and sometime 11
Extra fingers or toes? No
Movies or sitcoms? Sitcoms
Drive or walk? Both
Home cooking or fast food? Sorry Both
Sit or recline? Recline
Alcohol or other? Yes Booze
Be bossed or be the boss? Be the Boss
Dream job? Magazine writer, who writes books every so often...Always had a job as a TV Trivia Writer
Bowling or fishing? Fishing...My mom was a pro bowler
Man/boy or woman/girl? I'm a man and I like women
Okay if she is a 19 year old girl that works too
Reply:Who are you? sad and confused
Frame of mind? same as above
How many rings do you have on? 5 on two fingers
Lights on or off? off to sleep
Stay or go? stay, where is there to go?
Smoke? no, makes me sick to try, but I miss the idea of it
Kids? 2 boys
Cell or Pager? cell, can't live without it
Hobbies? crafts, reading, this damn idiot box, tv
Vices? this damn idiot box, eating habits
Perfection or Slouch? bit slouchy but anal
Shoe size? 11 M, shocking huh?
Extra fingers or toes? nope
Movies or sitcoms? either
Drive or walk? live too far away to walk
Home cooking or fast food? either, depends on the day
Sit or recline? sit
Alcohol or other? other
Be bossed or be the boss? too bossy to be bossed
Dream job? rich bum
Bowling or fishing? bowling
Man/boy or woman/girl? girl still trying to figure out how to be a woman after all these years
Reply:Who are you?
-I am AllyPally
Frame of mind?
-A positive one
How many rings do you have on?
-Normally, I wear 2, engagement and a ring my Dad gave me, but I take them off at night
Lights on or off?
-Depends on what we're doing
Stay or go?
-Stay
Smoke?
-Cigs
Kids?
-Very soon
Cell or Pager?
-Sidekick
Hobbies?
-None
Vices?
-Okay, I think I'm dumb... what is this again?
Perfection or Slouch?
-In between
Shoe size?
-9.5
Extra fingers or toes?
-Ew, neither
Movies or sitcoms?
-Sitcoms
Drive or walk?
-Drive
Home cooking or fast food?
-Home cooking
Sit or recline?
-Recline
Alcohol or other?
-Other
Be bossed or be the boss?
-Be the boss
Dream job?
-Unsure
Bowling or fishing?
-Either
Man/boy or woman/girl?
-Love men, but I am a woman!
Reply:Who are you?
me
Frame of mind?
wrong
How many rings do you have on?
one
Lights on or off?
off
Stay or go?
go
Smoke?
sometimes
Kids?
yup, 3
Cell or Pager?
cell
Hobbies?
need free time for them
Vices?
this
Perfection or Slouch?
deff slouch
Shoe size?
the box they come in
Extra fingers or toes?
nope
Movies or sitcoms?
movies
Drive or walk?
depends
Home cooking or fast food?
home
Sit or recline?
recline
Alcohol or other?
alcohol
Be bossed or be the boss?
both
Dream job?
not this one
Bowling or fishing?
both
Man/boy or woman/girl?
woman
Reply:shrutifruity
sane
none
on
go where?
nope
nope
cell
swimming, reading, studying, yahoo answers, etc.
perfection
8.5
no..though i do have an abnormally short toe
movies
walk
home cooking
recline
no controlled substances for me!
be the boss
doctor
bowling
woman/girl...i'm kinda in the middle.
Reply:Nikki.
Thoughtless.
Zero
Off.
Stay.
No.
Someday.
Cell.
Exercising.
What?
Perfection.
Small.
Nope.
Movies.
Walk.
Home cooking.
Recline.
Water.
Both.
Actress.
Fishing.
Lady.
Reply:i'm leland
healthy frame of mind
no rings or tattoos
lights off
depends if i stay or go
don't smoke
sometimes i kid a lot
cellphone
outdoor sport activities
vices...? nothing bad that u can imagine
perfection
six and a half shoe size
got only ten *hands and feet)
i prefer movies
if its too far..i drive and if its only a few blocks, i walk
home cooking and i always make mine special
depends if ai watch a movie i recline and if not i sit
i prefer fruit juices no alcohol
to be the boss
dream job.. to have good benefits
both bowling and fishing
i'm a man...
how about you...???
Reply:mags
tired
no rings
light on
go
no smoke
2 kids
cell
my kids
vices ?
perfection
10
no extra finger or toes
movies and sitcoms
walk
home cooking
sit
dr pepper
both(have a boss and be the boss)
working with kids
bowling
am a women
Reply:Audrey
Comfortable
One
Off
Stay
No
3
Cell
Internet, music, books, etc....
The price of gas
Somewhere in between
5
Gawd no!
Sitcoms
Drive or walk in the park
My mom's cooking, yum!
Sit
Either one
Be the boss
Pharmacist
Fishing
Woman
Reply:Who are you? me
Frame of mind? too random to tell
How many rings do you have on? none
Lights on or off? off
Stay or go? stay
Smoke? yes
Kids? someday
Cell or Pager? cell
Hobbies?anime and manga
Vices? ...what?
Perfection or Slouch? in the middle
Shoe size?12
Extra fingers or toes? lol neither ^_^
Movies or sitcoms? movies
Drive or walk? walk
Home cooking or fast food? home cooking mmmmmm
Sit or recline? sit
Alcohol or other? alcohol....white russian ^_^
Be bossed or be the boss? neither...be a team player
Dream job? becoming mangaka
Bowling or fishing? bowling
Man/boy or woman/girl? girl
Reply:Who are you?
Angel! :-)
Frame of mind?
Bored!
How many rings do you have on?
3
Lights on or off?
Off
Stay or go?
Stay..
Smoke?
No!!
Kids?
Someday
Cell or Pager?
Cell
Hobbies?
Sing, Dance,Read
Vices?
??
Perfection or Slouch?
Perfection
Shoe size?
8
Extra fingers or toes?
No...
Movies or sitcoms?
Movies
Drive or walk?
Drive
Home cooking or fast food?
Depends on my mood!
Sit or recline?
Sit
Alcohol or other?
Other
Be bossed or be the boss?
Be the Boss!
Dream job?
Journalist
Bowling or fishing?
Fishng!
Man/boy or woman/girl?
Girl
familiar faces
Is this not the best Rap?
Up in Vermont this is how we do
We got one area code and it's 802
802
802
Green Mountain State where we roll on skis
Don't mess with our cows or we'll break your knees
State of Vermont where we make Ben and Jerry's
Sweet like syrup and our streets aren't scary
Cell phone service is questionable
Farmer's Market is our biggest festival
We got out of staters creepin' when the leaves are changing
Our eggs are jumpin' JUMBO cause our chickens are free ranging
State capitol might be 200 years old but our dome is so bling in that it's plated with gold
MHS: our mascot is a Solon
Saturday night we don't go drinking, we go bowling
802 (4x)
We got seven different places to buy a pizza slice
But don't go to Village 'cause that dude ain't nice
Cross off Angeleno's 'cause their pie is overpriced
What about Girasole's - yeeah, that'll suffice
Hippies always loiter when on city steps
We got to First in Fitness and do mad reps
One one thousand, two one thousand, three one thousand, four
Here comes X10 knocking at your door
Mud season makes the roads real slow
Go hunting with our compound bow
We got creamiest milk in the 50 states
We go on picnics and dine on paper plates
Rednecks in jail we Barre are always hatin'
We cruise into town and we start fustigaten
I like my Cabot's cheddar extra sharp
Our roofs have leaks so we patch it with a tarp
802 (4x)
Got the biggest snow plows in the USA
Yeah we made it legal it's okay to be gay
Our official shoe is the Birkenstock
The only thing we hustlin' is the granite rock
Up in V-T this is how we do
We got one area code and it's 802
Is this not the best Rap?
its REALLY good. but honestly pro rapppers are better. dont get me wrong this is amazing!!! I luv it. if i was from vermont i would be proud to have a state rap: especially that one!
Reply:Haha good one.
Do you think you can do one about Tennessee?
Im from TN.
Reply:HAHAHHAHA ! That is so awesome! I love it! It IS the greatest rap about the V T!
affiliate reviews
We got one area code and it's 802
802
802
Green Mountain State where we roll on skis
Don't mess with our cows or we'll break your knees
State of Vermont where we make Ben and Jerry's
Sweet like syrup and our streets aren't scary
Cell phone service is questionable
Farmer's Market is our biggest festival
We got out of staters creepin' when the leaves are changing
Our eggs are jumpin' JUMBO cause our chickens are free ranging
State capitol might be 200 years old but our dome is so bling in that it's plated with gold
MHS: our mascot is a Solon
Saturday night we don't go drinking, we go bowling
802 (4x)
We got seven different places to buy a pizza slice
But don't go to Village 'cause that dude ain't nice
Cross off Angeleno's 'cause their pie is overpriced
What about Girasole's - yeeah, that'll suffice
Hippies always loiter when on city steps
We got to First in Fitness and do mad reps
One one thousand, two one thousand, three one thousand, four
Here comes X10 knocking at your door
Mud season makes the roads real slow
Go hunting with our compound bow
We got creamiest milk in the 50 states
We go on picnics and dine on paper plates
Rednecks in jail we Barre are always hatin'
We cruise into town and we start fustigaten
I like my Cabot's cheddar extra sharp
Our roofs have leaks so we patch it with a tarp
802 (4x)
Got the biggest snow plows in the USA
Yeah we made it legal it's okay to be gay
Our official shoe is the Birkenstock
The only thing we hustlin' is the granite rock
Up in V-T this is how we do
We got one area code and it's 802
Is this not the best Rap?
its REALLY good. but honestly pro rapppers are better. dont get me wrong this is amazing!!! I luv it. if i was from vermont i would be proud to have a state rap: especially that one!
Reply:Haha good one.
Do you think you can do one about Tennessee?
Im from TN.
Reply:HAHAHHAHA ! That is so awesome! I love it! It IS the greatest rap about the V T!
affiliate reviews
To other stay at home moms, does your husband at least pick up after himself?
I understand that my husband works a lot of hours, but I don't think he understands that I do too, just in the home. He will leave crusted on cereal bowls all over the bedroom, coffee cups, clothes thrown all over (I don't know what's clean or dirty) when he shaves he leaves his whiskers in the sink, shoes in the middle of the floor. Is it asking too much for them to atleast pick up after themselves, even if they don't do laundry, dishes, cook or clean!!? My husband has never been this way before %26amp; it's getting really annoying! I don't want to sound like his mother or a ***** by telling him to "pick that up" or "put that away," but I don't want him to think he can just take advantage of me like this?
To other stay at home moms, does your husband at least pick up after himself?
The best advice i can give you is............leave it. Wherever he drops it leave it.
I know this is not going to be easy and not the nicest environment to live in but believe me it will work. He will eventually complain about the mess. Tell him to take a look around him and ask him who's mess is it. Then tell him you are not his mother and you don't ask him to clear up your mess. Just make sure you do not leave anything of yours around that he can complain about and that my dear girl is your solution. He will soon get fed up. If he doesn't then I think you should re-think your possition in his life. Wife or dogsbody
Reply:tell him about it..........
Reply:take a part of the room out of your way and throw it in a pile everyday or time you have to pick it up and leave it if you are at home doing your part then he should respect that your not his maid put your foot down go get him honey.
Reply:my husband was that way when I got him, he had been used to this treatment, his mother did all this for him, after a while, I looked at him, he said something about how his mama did for him, I said, then you better go have your mama do it again, I'm getting tired of it, he changed... yes, there is still those behaviors, especially since his accident..... however....
I think you just need to have a good sit down conversation with your husband......
good luck
Reply:He must be related to my ex-husband!
We both worked full time and he expected me to do everything around the house. For a while,, we has working 9-5, I was working noon-8, so I'd get up with him and clean before I went to work, he'd get home hours before me, mess the place up, and when I got home he's yell at me that the place was messy!
Reply:You should not be concern by the piles of dirty clothes he leaves behind BUt the DRASTIC change in his behavier , Its a big red flag there something very wrong in your marriage Wake up and see a conseler before its to late , Do not forget you have children in all this to protect and to love
Reply:my husband is the same way..I can put the clothes hamper in our bedroom but instead of putting them in the hamper he will lay them in the floor infront of it.I tell my husband I have a child and you are not it i dont have time to pick up after you so if something is dirty put it were it goes so i can clean in. my 3 year old even will put his dirty dishes in the sink a point a bring up to my husband often.
credot
To other stay at home moms, does your husband at least pick up after himself?
The best advice i can give you is............leave it. Wherever he drops it leave it.
I know this is not going to be easy and not the nicest environment to live in but believe me it will work. He will eventually complain about the mess. Tell him to take a look around him and ask him who's mess is it. Then tell him you are not his mother and you don't ask him to clear up your mess. Just make sure you do not leave anything of yours around that he can complain about and that my dear girl is your solution. He will soon get fed up. If he doesn't then I think you should re-think your possition in his life. Wife or dogsbody
Reply:tell him about it..........
Reply:take a part of the room out of your way and throw it in a pile everyday or time you have to pick it up and leave it if you are at home doing your part then he should respect that your not his maid put your foot down go get him honey.
Reply:my husband was that way when I got him, he had been used to this treatment, his mother did all this for him, after a while, I looked at him, he said something about how his mama did for him, I said, then you better go have your mama do it again, I'm getting tired of it, he changed... yes, there is still those behaviors, especially since his accident..... however....
I think you just need to have a good sit down conversation with your husband......
good luck
Reply:He must be related to my ex-husband!
We both worked full time and he expected me to do everything around the house. For a while,, we has working 9-5, I was working noon-8, so I'd get up with him and clean before I went to work, he'd get home hours before me, mess the place up, and when I got home he's yell at me that the place was messy!
Reply:You should not be concern by the piles of dirty clothes he leaves behind BUt the DRASTIC change in his behavier , Its a big red flag there something very wrong in your marriage Wake up and see a conseler before its to late , Do not forget you have children in all this to protect and to love
Reply:my husband is the same way..I can put the clothes hamper in our bedroom but instead of putting them in the hamper he will lay them in the floor infront of it.I tell my husband I have a child and you are not it i dont have time to pick up after you so if something is dirty put it were it goes so i can clean in. my 3 year old even will put his dirty dishes in the sink a point a bring up to my husband often.
credot
Any Tips??
So, my boyfriend and I have only been dating for 2 weeks (he is 16 and I am almost 15). Today, we watched the Super Bowl together with his mom and older sister(also my best friend). The entire time we were cuddling on the couch and teasing each other. Then my dad called at ten saying he would be there in thirty seconds. I pull my hoodie over my t-shirt, put on my shoes, say thank you to his mom for letting me come. As I walk towards the door, my boyfriend says good bye and pulls me into his arms. At first I thought it was just a hug, but soon I realized that we were kissing.
Now comes the confusing part: I have never kissed anyone before. And I must say, it came as a surprise. However, I'm not sure if he was trying to make out with me or is just a forceful kisser.
I need some tips. I have never done this before and I don't know what to do. Argh, this is a dumb question, but the person I usually ask these questions is his older sister. No way am I putting her through this. Thanks.
Any Tips??
You seem to be way ahead of your years compared to most on this site. The boy is most likely the same as you and does not know what to do and when. A process of learning. Also boys tend to like to brag so he can honestly tell his froends that he kissed you. Silly I know but young boys do get silly abut the time hormones get really going. Your time will come later like aobut when you are thirty.
Reply:a kiss is just something you need to get used to and im sure it was just a kiss the more you analize the worse things get so just go with the flow, love
skin problems
Now comes the confusing part: I have never kissed anyone before. And I must say, it came as a surprise. However, I'm not sure if he was trying to make out with me or is just a forceful kisser.
I need some tips. I have never done this before and I don't know what to do. Argh, this is a dumb question, but the person I usually ask these questions is his older sister. No way am I putting her through this. Thanks.
Any Tips??
You seem to be way ahead of your years compared to most on this site. The boy is most likely the same as you and does not know what to do and when. A process of learning. Also boys tend to like to brag so he can honestly tell his froends that he kissed you. Silly I know but young boys do get silly abut the time hormones get really going. Your time will come later like aobut when you are thirty.
Reply:a kiss is just something you need to get used to and im sure it was just a kiss the more you analize the worse things get so just go with the flow, love
skin problems
Everything blonde, especially for Myklia g and Pepzi_bandit?
How do you hit a blonde and she will never know it....with a thought!
How can you tell a smart blonde from a dumb blonde....the smart blondes have dark roots.
Why don't blondes eat pickles...because they get their heads stuck in the jar.
Why did the blonde get fired from the M %26amp; M factory...she threw out all of the W's.
How do you make a blonde laugh on Monday...tell her a joke on Friday.
What do you call a zit on a blonde's butt...brain tumor.
Why don't blondes make kool-aid...can't fit 8 cups of water in the little packages.
What do you call a blonde with half a brain...gifted.
Why do blondes have T.G.I.F. printed on their shoes...stands for Toes G o In First.
How many blondes does it take to change a tire .... 5--2 to get sodas, 2 to cry and 1 to call daddy.
How do you give a blonde a brain transplant .... blow in her ear.
What do blondes and beer bottles have in common .... they're both empty from the neck up.
What does a blonde say when you blow in her ear .... thanks for the refill.
What's the mating call of a brunette .... Is that darn blonde gone yet?
Why do blondes wash their hair in the kitchen sink .... that's where you wash vegetables.
How do you get a blonde's eyes to sparkle .... shine a light in her ear.
What's the advantage of being married to a blonde .... you can park in handicapped zones.
What do you do when a blonde throws a grenade at you .... pull the pin and throw it back.
Why did the blonde climb over the glass wall .... to see what was on the other side.
How many blondes does it take to change a light bulb .... 6 - 2 to read the instructions, 1 to find the switch, 2 to stand on, 1 to screw the bulb.
How many blondes does it take to change a lightbulb .... two .... one to hold the diet pepsi and one to call daaaady.
The blonde stayed up all night to see where the sun went .... it finally dawned on her.
Brunette to the blonde .... Awww, look at the dead birdie .... the blonde stopped, looks up and says, "where"?
How do you know a blonde has been working at your computer .... there is "white-out" all over the screen.
How can you tell if another blonde been using the computer .... there's writing on the "white-out".
Why do blondes wear ear muffs? .... to avoid the draft.
What did the blonde visiting O.J. think this was .... spilled finger nail polish.
What is the blonde doing when she hold her hands over her ears .... trying to hold on to a thought.
Why did the blonde stare at the frozen orange juice can for 2 hours? .... because it said "concentrate".
Why did the blonde snort Nutra-Sweet .... she thought it was diet "coke".
Why did the blonde put her finger over the nail when she was hammering .... the noise gave her a headache.
Why did the blonde have blisters on her lips .... from trying to blow out lightbulbs.
Why did the blonde climb up to the roof of the bar .... she heard that the drinks were on the house.
Why don't blondes have elevator jobs .... they don't know the route.
Why does blondes have elevator jobs .... they like going up and down.
Why do blondes work seven days a week .... so you don't have to retrain them on Monday.
How does a blond know if she's on her way home or on her way to work .... she opens her lunch box to see if there is anything in it
How did the blonde die drinking milk.......the cow sat down
Why don't blondes make chocolate chip cookies .... it takes to long to get the shells off the M %26amp; M's
Why can't the blonde keep a job at the M %26amp; M factory .... she keeps throwing away the W's
What do you get when you offer a blonde a penny for her thoughts .... change
How many blondes does it take to make chocolate-chip cookies .... 10 .... one to mix the dough and nine to sort out the W's
How many blondes does it take to make chocolate-chip cookies .... 3 .... one to make batter and two to peel the M %26amp; Ms.
How can you tell if a blonde has baked chocolate cookies .... there are M %26amp; M hulls all over the floor
How can you tell if a blonde is going to back chocolate cookies .... she is throwing out all of the W's
What is written at the bottom of a blonde's fishing pond .... bring your own fish
Have you heard what my blond neighbor wrote on the bottom of her swimming pool .... no smoking
what does a blond do when someone says its chili outside .... she grabs a bowl
what do you call a blonde with one brain cell .... gifted
What do you call a blonde with two brain cells .... pregnant
What is a blond with brunette died hair .... artificial intelligence
Why did the blond stare at the orange juice .... it said concentrate
Why Can't Blondes get "mad Cow Disease .... you can't get it twice
How do you sink a submarine full of blondes .... knock on the door
What stops then goes, stops then goes .... A blonde at a blinking red light
What do you call two blondes in the freezer .... frosted flakes
Pepsi came out with a new can just for blondes .... It has "open other end" printed on the bottom.
Why do blondes always rapidly flap their hands towards theirs ears .... they're refuelling
Why do blondes comb their bangs strait up .... They don't want anything going over their head
How did the blonds brain cell die .... alone
What did the blonde say when she opened a box of Cheerios .... Hey, Look!! A bunch of doughnut seeds
What do you call a smart blond .... Labrador
How many blonde jokes are there? .... none, they're all true
Why don't blonds ever become pharmacists .... It's too hard to fit the bottle in the typewriter
Why did the blonde purchase an AM radio .... she didn't want one for nights
Did you hear about the dead blonde in the closet .... she was last years hide and seek winner
Why are there blonde jokes .... to make brunettes jealous
Why doesn't a blonde make Kool Aid .... couldn't get 8 glasses of water in the little packet
What's the advantage of being married to a blonde .... you can park in the handicapped zone
What is dumber than a brunette building a fire under water .... a blonde trying to put it out
What do you call a blonde with a brand new P.C .... a dumb terminal
How do you call a blond .... you don't .... you whistle
What does a blond say when she see's a banana skin on the side walk .... am going to fall again
I'm a blonde and still like blonde jokes .... must have been written by a true blonde
Why are blonde jokes so easy to understand .... so brunettes can understand them
How did the blond burn her ear .... the phone rang while she was ironing
What's a blond between 2 brunette .... a mental block
Why do blondes wear their hair up .... to catch anything that goes over their heads
Why does a blonde smile when there is lightening .... she thinks she is getting her picture taken
There are 17 blonds standing outside a disco but they could not get in .... the sign said, "must be 18 to enter"
How many blonds does it take to change a light bulb .... only one .... she holds it in the socket and waits for the world to revolve around her
What do you call 3 blondes that walk into a building .... beats me .... you would think one of them would have seen it
How do you drown a blonde .... glue a penny to the bottom of a pool
Why are there no brunette jokes .... because blondes would have to think them up
How does a blonde make instant pudding .... places the box in the microwave, and looks for the "instant pudding setting
How do you confuse a blonde, put three shovels against the wall and tell her .... to take her "PICK"
How do you drive a blonde crazy .... put her in a round room and tell her to stand in the corner
Why did the blonde put lipstick on her forehead .... trying to make up her mind
What do you call a brunette standing between two blondes .... interpreter
What do you call 24 blondes in a cardboard box .... a case of empties
Why do blondes wash their hair in the sink .... that is where you clean all vegetables
Why did it take the blonde 7 days to drive from St. Louis to Chicago .... she kept seeing signs that read .... stop clean bath room
A blonde went to the doctor's with burnt feet, "how did you do it" asked the doctor" .... "cooking soup .... the instructions said "open can .... stand in boiling water for 7 minutes
Why can't a blonde make ice cubes .... Don't know the recipe
How do you get rid of blondes .... form a circle, give each a gun and tell them they are a firing squad
Why did the blonde buy a brown cow .... to get chocolate milk
Everything blonde, especially for Myklia g and Pepzi_bandit?
ok trouble your middle name hu!lol llllolol
Reply:hahahahahaha
Reply:wow...
there's some repetition in it...
thanx for the giggle! ;-)
Reply:excellent!
but dangerous?
Reply:do blondes sit in the bleechers.lol
Reply:i cant believe i read the whole thing but it was well worth it. it was soooooo funny!!!
Reply:hahahahha
your getting checky now
Reply:the list goes on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on.........................................
LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL
Reply:no time for this crap, I have to watch rugby wortld cup and manchester football match now.
Ps
is it playing with feelings a tipical male or female attitude?
Reply:Here's another (a bit of an old one, but good still):
Theres a blond that goes to an electronic store and asks the man at the desk "how much is that T.V ?" the man turns to her and replys "sorry i don't do buisness with blonds." the next day the blond comes back to the store wearing a red wig. She asks the man the same question and again the man says to her " sorry i don't do buisness with blonds!" The day after that the blond returns to the store wearing a black wig and again asks the man how much the t.v. is worth, and again the man rejects her. Finally she takes off the wig says "how do you always know i'm blond?!" The man at the desk replys "because thats a microwave"
Reply:Did you hear about the blonde who got fed up with all the blonde jokes?
She went to the hairdressers and got her hair dyed brunette. On her way home to the village she lived in, the road was blocked by a shepherd guiding his sheep into a field.
"here's a chance to show them I'm not dumb" she thinks and calls the shepherd over. "I want to make a bet with you" she says.
"I don't know" says the shepherd "I don't have any money and I don't play around"
"That's OK" says the blonde "Look,if I can tell you how many sheep you have, I'll take one for a pet. How's that?"
The shepherd thinks about it, realises it's not likely to happen and agrees.
The blonde looks around the flock and, without thinking, says "431"
"That's amazing" says the shepherd "How do you do it?"
"It's a gift. Can I get my sheep now?"
The blonde wanders through the flock, finds one she likes and then puts it into her car.
Now comes the shepherd's turn. "Right" he says" I will make a bet with you."
"Well, as long as it's not sordid" replies the blonde
"No, it's a very simple bet. If I tell you the REAL colour of your hair, I get my dog back"
Reply:lol so many blonde jokes so little time!
Reply:lmao good one, keep them coming 10/10 star!
Reply:Good one, however revenge will probably bit you in the ar*e...lol Pepzi %26amp; Myklia are probably planning at this moment
Reply:O.k. Myklia and Pepsi, that's it, tell me when and i'll hold him down and you two can bleach his hair blond, hehehe
Have a star
xxxxxxxxxxx
Reply:lolol....hehehe
Reply:whooooooooaaaaaaaaaaa there bessie
to think i luv'd ya, mmm watch %26amp; wait
koffice
How can you tell a smart blonde from a dumb blonde....the smart blondes have dark roots.
Why don't blondes eat pickles...because they get their heads stuck in the jar.
Why did the blonde get fired from the M %26amp; M factory...she threw out all of the W's.
How do you make a blonde laugh on Monday...tell her a joke on Friday.
What do you call a zit on a blonde's butt...brain tumor.
Why don't blondes make kool-aid...can't fit 8 cups of water in the little packages.
What do you call a blonde with half a brain...gifted.
Why do blondes have T.G.I.F. printed on their shoes...stands for Toes G o In First.
How many blondes does it take to change a tire .... 5--2 to get sodas, 2 to cry and 1 to call daddy.
How do you give a blonde a brain transplant .... blow in her ear.
What do blondes and beer bottles have in common .... they're both empty from the neck up.
What does a blonde say when you blow in her ear .... thanks for the refill.
What's the mating call of a brunette .... Is that darn blonde gone yet?
Why do blondes wash their hair in the kitchen sink .... that's where you wash vegetables.
How do you get a blonde's eyes to sparkle .... shine a light in her ear.
What's the advantage of being married to a blonde .... you can park in handicapped zones.
What do you do when a blonde throws a grenade at you .... pull the pin and throw it back.
Why did the blonde climb over the glass wall .... to see what was on the other side.
How many blondes does it take to change a light bulb .... 6 - 2 to read the instructions, 1 to find the switch, 2 to stand on, 1 to screw the bulb.
How many blondes does it take to change a lightbulb .... two .... one to hold the diet pepsi and one to call daaaady.
The blonde stayed up all night to see where the sun went .... it finally dawned on her.
Brunette to the blonde .... Awww, look at the dead birdie .... the blonde stopped, looks up and says, "where"?
How do you know a blonde has been working at your computer .... there is "white-out" all over the screen.
How can you tell if another blonde been using the computer .... there's writing on the "white-out".
Why do blondes wear ear muffs? .... to avoid the draft.
What did the blonde visiting O.J. think this was .... spilled finger nail polish.
What is the blonde doing when she hold her hands over her ears .... trying to hold on to a thought.
Why did the blonde stare at the frozen orange juice can for 2 hours? .... because it said "concentrate".
Why did the blonde snort Nutra-Sweet .... she thought it was diet "coke".
Why did the blonde put her finger over the nail when she was hammering .... the noise gave her a headache.
Why did the blonde have blisters on her lips .... from trying to blow out lightbulbs.
Why did the blonde climb up to the roof of the bar .... she heard that the drinks were on the house.
Why don't blondes have elevator jobs .... they don't know the route.
Why does blondes have elevator jobs .... they like going up and down.
Why do blondes work seven days a week .... so you don't have to retrain them on Monday.
How does a blond know if she's on her way home or on her way to work .... she opens her lunch box to see if there is anything in it
How did the blonde die drinking milk.......the cow sat down
Why don't blondes make chocolate chip cookies .... it takes to long to get the shells off the M %26amp; M's
Why can't the blonde keep a job at the M %26amp; M factory .... she keeps throwing away the W's
What do you get when you offer a blonde a penny for her thoughts .... change
How many blondes does it take to make chocolate-chip cookies .... 10 .... one to mix the dough and nine to sort out the W's
How many blondes does it take to make chocolate-chip cookies .... 3 .... one to make batter and two to peel the M %26amp; Ms.
How can you tell if a blonde has baked chocolate cookies .... there are M %26amp; M hulls all over the floor
How can you tell if a blonde is going to back chocolate cookies .... she is throwing out all of the W's
What is written at the bottom of a blonde's fishing pond .... bring your own fish
Have you heard what my blond neighbor wrote on the bottom of her swimming pool .... no smoking
what does a blond do when someone says its chili outside .... she grabs a bowl
what do you call a blonde with one brain cell .... gifted
What do you call a blonde with two brain cells .... pregnant
What is a blond with brunette died hair .... artificial intelligence
Why did the blond stare at the orange juice .... it said concentrate
Why Can't Blondes get "mad Cow Disease .... you can't get it twice
How do you sink a submarine full of blondes .... knock on the door
What stops then goes, stops then goes .... A blonde at a blinking red light
What do you call two blondes in the freezer .... frosted flakes
Pepsi came out with a new can just for blondes .... It has "open other end" printed on the bottom.
Why do blondes always rapidly flap their hands towards theirs ears .... they're refuelling
Why do blondes comb their bangs strait up .... They don't want anything going over their head
How did the blonds brain cell die .... alone
What did the blonde say when she opened a box of Cheerios .... Hey, Look!! A bunch of doughnut seeds
What do you call a smart blond .... Labrador
How many blonde jokes are there? .... none, they're all true
Why don't blonds ever become pharmacists .... It's too hard to fit the bottle in the typewriter
Why did the blonde purchase an AM radio .... she didn't want one for nights
Did you hear about the dead blonde in the closet .... she was last years hide and seek winner
Why are there blonde jokes .... to make brunettes jealous
Why doesn't a blonde make Kool Aid .... couldn't get 8 glasses of water in the little packet
What's the advantage of being married to a blonde .... you can park in the handicapped zone
What is dumber than a brunette building a fire under water .... a blonde trying to put it out
What do you call a blonde with a brand new P.C .... a dumb terminal
How do you call a blond .... you don't .... you whistle
What does a blond say when she see's a banana skin on the side walk .... am going to fall again
I'm a blonde and still like blonde jokes .... must have been written by a true blonde
Why are blonde jokes so easy to understand .... so brunettes can understand them
How did the blond burn her ear .... the phone rang while she was ironing
What's a blond between 2 brunette .... a mental block
Why do blondes wear their hair up .... to catch anything that goes over their heads
Why does a blonde smile when there is lightening .... she thinks she is getting her picture taken
There are 17 blonds standing outside a disco but they could not get in .... the sign said, "must be 18 to enter"
How many blonds does it take to change a light bulb .... only one .... she holds it in the socket and waits for the world to revolve around her
What do you call 3 blondes that walk into a building .... beats me .... you would think one of them would have seen it
How do you drown a blonde .... glue a penny to the bottom of a pool
Why are there no brunette jokes .... because blondes would have to think them up
How does a blonde make instant pudding .... places the box in the microwave, and looks for the "instant pudding setting
How do you confuse a blonde, put three shovels against the wall and tell her .... to take her "PICK"
How do you drive a blonde crazy .... put her in a round room and tell her to stand in the corner
Why did the blonde put lipstick on her forehead .... trying to make up her mind
What do you call a brunette standing between two blondes .... interpreter
What do you call 24 blondes in a cardboard box .... a case of empties
Why do blondes wash their hair in the sink .... that is where you clean all vegetables
Why did it take the blonde 7 days to drive from St. Louis to Chicago .... she kept seeing signs that read .... stop clean bath room
A blonde went to the doctor's with burnt feet, "how did you do it" asked the doctor" .... "cooking soup .... the instructions said "open can .... stand in boiling water for 7 minutes
Why can't a blonde make ice cubes .... Don't know the recipe
How do you get rid of blondes .... form a circle, give each a gun and tell them they are a firing squad
Why did the blonde buy a brown cow .... to get chocolate milk
Everything blonde, especially for Myklia g and Pepzi_bandit?
ok trouble your middle name hu!lol llllolol
Reply:hahahahahaha
Reply:wow...
there's some repetition in it...
thanx for the giggle! ;-)
Reply:excellent!
but dangerous?
Reply:do blondes sit in the bleechers.lol
Reply:i cant believe i read the whole thing but it was well worth it. it was soooooo funny!!!
Reply:hahahahha
your getting checky now
Reply:the list goes on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on.........................................
LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL
Reply:no time for this crap, I have to watch rugby wortld cup and manchester football match now.
Ps
is it playing with feelings a tipical male or female attitude?
Reply:Here's another (a bit of an old one, but good still):
Theres a blond that goes to an electronic store and asks the man at the desk "how much is that T.V ?" the man turns to her and replys "sorry i don't do buisness with blonds." the next day the blond comes back to the store wearing a red wig. She asks the man the same question and again the man says to her " sorry i don't do buisness with blonds!" The day after that the blond returns to the store wearing a black wig and again asks the man how much the t.v. is worth, and again the man rejects her. Finally she takes off the wig says "how do you always know i'm blond?!" The man at the desk replys "because thats a microwave"
Reply:Did you hear about the blonde who got fed up with all the blonde jokes?
She went to the hairdressers and got her hair dyed brunette. On her way home to the village she lived in, the road was blocked by a shepherd guiding his sheep into a field.
"here's a chance to show them I'm not dumb" she thinks and calls the shepherd over. "I want to make a bet with you" she says.
"I don't know" says the shepherd "I don't have any money and I don't play around"
"That's OK" says the blonde "Look,if I can tell you how many sheep you have, I'll take one for a pet. How's that?"
The shepherd thinks about it, realises it's not likely to happen and agrees.
The blonde looks around the flock and, without thinking, says "431"
"That's amazing" says the shepherd "How do you do it?"
"It's a gift. Can I get my sheep now?"
The blonde wanders through the flock, finds one she likes and then puts it into her car.
Now comes the shepherd's turn. "Right" he says" I will make a bet with you."
"Well, as long as it's not sordid" replies the blonde
"No, it's a very simple bet. If I tell you the REAL colour of your hair, I get my dog back"
Reply:lol so many blonde jokes so little time!
Reply:lmao good one, keep them coming 10/10 star!
Reply:Good one, however revenge will probably bit you in the ar*e...lol Pepzi %26amp; Myklia are probably planning at this moment
Reply:O.k. Myklia and Pepsi, that's it, tell me when and i'll hold him down and you two can bleach his hair blond, hehehe
Have a star
xxxxxxxxxxx
Reply:lolol....hehehe
Reply:whooooooooaaaaaaaaaaa there bessie
to think i luv'd ya, mmm watch %26amp; wait
koffice
What do you know about the morality of Imam Zayn al-`Abidin Ali bin Al-Hussain?
A relative of Imam Zayn al-`Abidin was standing beside him, raising his voice and abusing him. The Imam did not answer him until he went back to his house. At this moment, the Imam said to his companions, “Did you hear what this man said? I would like you to come with me to hear my response.” The Imam put on his shoes and set out with his companions saying to himself,
وَالْكَاظِمِينَ الْغَيْظَ وَالْعَافِينَ عَنِ النَّاسِ وَاللّهُ يُحِبُّ الْمُحْسِنِينَ (134)
…and those who restrain their anger and pardon men; and Allah loves the doers of the good. (3:134)
When they reached the house of that man, the Imam introduced himself to the servant who conveyed it to his master. The man who seemed to be looking for trouble came out. He was sure that the Imam had come for retaliation; rather, the Imam said, “My brother! A few minutes ago, you were standing beside me and said such and such words against me. If I am the one whom you described, I will ask for Allah’s forgiveness; but if what you said about me is not true, may Allah forgive you.” The man kissed the Imam’s forehead, saying, “What I said about you is not true and it is more deserving of me.”
The Lepers
Imam al-Sadiq (a.s) has reported: One day, Imam Zayn al-`Abidin was passing by the lepers while he was riding. The lepers who were eating invited the Imam to share food with them. The Imam said, “I am fasting; otherwise, I would sit with you.” When the Imam reached home, he had some food prepared, invited the lepers and ate with them.
Forgiving A Neighbor
Husham ibn Isma`il was appointed as ruler of Medina by `Abd al-Malik ibn Marwan. One of the grandsons of Imam `Ali (a.s) reports: Husham ibn Isma`il was a bad neighbor who persecuted Imam Zayn al-`Abidin greatly. When he was dismissed, he was brought to public with his hands tied, on the order of Walid ibn `Abd al-Malik for retaliation. While he was under arrest near Marwan’s house, Imam Zayn al-`Abidin passed by and greeted him. The Imam had already advised his companions not to offend Husham.
A Hidden Charity
There were families in Medina whose needs were fulfilled without knowing wherefrom. When Imam `Ali ibn al-Husayn passed away, they found out that it was the Imam who had secretly helped them.
It is also reported: Imam Zayn al-`Abidin would come out of house at nights with a purse full of Dirhams and Dinars and go from one door to another leaving some Dirhams and Dinars at the door of each house. Only when he had passed away, they found out that the benefactor had been Imam Zayn al-`Abidin.
Prayer And Charity
Abu-Hamzah Thamali has reported: I saw Imam Zayn al-`Abidin in prayer while his cloak was falling off his shoulders but he did not make any attempt to hold it until he completed his prayer. I asked about it. The Imam said, “Woe to you! Do you know before Whom was I standing? Prayer is not accepted save with full concentration and presence of heart.”
A Qur’anic Pardon
One of the slave-girls of Imam Zayn al-`Abidin was pouring water on his hands while performing ablution when all of a sudden the ewer hit and hurt the Imam’s face. The Imam raised his head towards her. The slave-girl said: Allah says, “Those who restrain their anger.” The Imam said, “I restrained my anger.” The slave-girl said, “…and pardon men.” The Imam said, “I pardoned you.” The slave-girl said, “…and Allah loves the doers of good.” The Imam said, “You are free in the way of Allah.”
Day of Loss
Imam al-Sadiq (a.s) reported: There was a clown in Medina who would make people laugh. One day he said to himself, “This man (Imam Zayn al-`Abidin) has made me helpless to make him laugh!” So, when the Imam was followed by two of his servants, he passed by the clown. Seeing the Imam, the clown walked behind him, drew his cloak and ran away. The Imam did not pay any attention to the clown but people went after him and took back the cloak. Addressing people, the Imam said, “Who is this man?” They said, “He is a making people of Medina laugh.” The Imam said, “Tell him there is a day for Allah in which idle people will suffer losses.”
Unknown Among Travelers
Imam al-Sadiq has reported: Imam Zayn al-`Abidin used to go on trips without letting his co-travelers recognize him so that he could help them as an unknown person. However, he was recognized by one of his co-travelers, “Do you know who this man is? This is `Ali ibn al-Husayn.” People rushed to him kissing his hands and feet, saying, “O son of Allah’s Messenger: We might have harmed you with our hands and tongues hence deserving hell! What made you travel in this way?” The Imam said, “Once I traveled with a group who knew me very well, they treated me for the sake of the Holy Prophet in a way I did not deserve. I thought you might do the same. For this reason, I prefer to travel as an unknown person.”
Kindness To A Camel
Imam al-Sadiq (a.s) has reported: When he was passing away, `Ali ibn al-Husayn said to his son, Imam al-Baqir, “I have gone on Hajj on this camel for twenty times and I have not given it a lash. Bury it when it dies so that it will not be eaten by wild animals, for Allah’s Messenger has said: Any camel which goes to `Arafah for seven times, Allah will make it one of the blessings of Paradise and place blessing in its offspring.” When the camel of the Imam died, they buried it.
Giving Away His Food
When `Ali ibn al-Husayn was fasting, he would have a sheep slaughtered, its meat cut into pieces and cooked. At sunset while he had not broken his fast, he would order to bring the bowls, fill them and take them to such and such houses until there was no more food in the pot. Then, they brought bread and date for the Imam to break his fast with.
Helping The Needy
When dark overwhelmed Medina and people were at rest, Imam Zayn al-`Abidin would come out of house to go to the needy people and divide among them the food which he carried in a bag on his shoulder while covering his face so that none would know him. On many occasions, he would stand waiting at the doors so that they would come and take their shares. When they saw him face to face, they would say: He is the possessor of bag!”
The Story of Grapes
Imam al-Sadiq (a.s) has reported: Imam Zayn al-`Abidin was very fond of grapes. One day, they had brought fresh grapes to Medina. His wife bought some of them for him to break his fast with. When they brought them before him and he stretched out his hand to take some, a needy person knocked the door and asked for something. The Imam told his wife to take the grapes for the needy person. She said, “Some of it was enough for the needy person.” The Imam said, “No, By Allah; take all of it for him.” The next day, again they bought grapes for him but an indigent person came to the door and the Imam gave him all of the grapes. The third night, no needy came. So the Imam ate the grapes saying, “We did not lose anything in it, thanks to Allah.”
Nobility in Childhood
`Abdullah ibn Mubarak reports: When I was on Hajj to Mecca, I caught sight of a seven or eight year old child walking alongside a caravan of pilgrims with no provision with him. I went forward, saluted him and asked, “With whom did you cover the desert?” He said, “With the Beneficent Allah.” He looked great to me. I asked, “Where is your provision, my son?” He said, “My piety is my provision and my Lord is my goal.” He looked magnanimous. I asked, “Which lineage do you come from?” He said, “`Abd al-Muttalib.”
- “Which family?”
- “Hashim.”
- “Which branch.”
- `Ali - Fatimah.”
- O my master! Have you composed a poem?
- “Yes, I have.”
- “Recite part of your poem.”
The Imam recited a poem with the following words:
We are those sent to the pond of Kawthar. We give water to some and repel others. None can attain salvation but through our mediation. One who loves us will not suffer losses and one who makes us happy will receive happiness from us and whoever harms us will be of low birth. One who usurps our right will be punished on the Judgment Day!
Then I lost sight of him until I came to Mecca. When I completed my Hajj rituals and returned to al-Abtah, I saw a circle of people round someone. It was the same child with whom I spoke. I asked who he was. They said that he was Zayn al-`Abidin.
What do you know about the morality of Imam Zayn al-`Abidin Ali bin Al-Hussain?
i agree, these were great, i enjoyed them very much., i came to this site to laugh but learned of much things, that can be just as good as laughter, I'm native american and honored to have had read your words. huy chewx aa. thank you.
Reply:i loved reading all those and wish you wrote more
Reply:Thankyou Bro !.
http://www.al-islam.org/
Reply:thanx... i never knew some of these stories
Reply:Jazak Allah Khayr!
hair accessories
وَالْكَاظِمِينَ الْغَيْظَ وَالْعَافِينَ عَنِ النَّاسِ وَاللّهُ يُحِبُّ الْمُحْسِنِينَ (134)
…and those who restrain their anger and pardon men; and Allah loves the doers of the good. (3:134)
When they reached the house of that man, the Imam introduced himself to the servant who conveyed it to his master. The man who seemed to be looking for trouble came out. He was sure that the Imam had come for retaliation; rather, the Imam said, “My brother! A few minutes ago, you were standing beside me and said such and such words against me. If I am the one whom you described, I will ask for Allah’s forgiveness; but if what you said about me is not true, may Allah forgive you.” The man kissed the Imam’s forehead, saying, “What I said about you is not true and it is more deserving of me.”
The Lepers
Imam al-Sadiq (a.s) has reported: One day, Imam Zayn al-`Abidin was passing by the lepers while he was riding. The lepers who were eating invited the Imam to share food with them. The Imam said, “I am fasting; otherwise, I would sit with you.” When the Imam reached home, he had some food prepared, invited the lepers and ate with them.
Forgiving A Neighbor
Husham ibn Isma`il was appointed as ruler of Medina by `Abd al-Malik ibn Marwan. One of the grandsons of Imam `Ali (a.s) reports: Husham ibn Isma`il was a bad neighbor who persecuted Imam Zayn al-`Abidin greatly. When he was dismissed, he was brought to public with his hands tied, on the order of Walid ibn `Abd al-Malik for retaliation. While he was under arrest near Marwan’s house, Imam Zayn al-`Abidin passed by and greeted him. The Imam had already advised his companions not to offend Husham.
A Hidden Charity
There were families in Medina whose needs were fulfilled without knowing wherefrom. When Imam `Ali ibn al-Husayn passed away, they found out that it was the Imam who had secretly helped them.
It is also reported: Imam Zayn al-`Abidin would come out of house at nights with a purse full of Dirhams and Dinars and go from one door to another leaving some Dirhams and Dinars at the door of each house. Only when he had passed away, they found out that the benefactor had been Imam Zayn al-`Abidin.
Prayer And Charity
Abu-Hamzah Thamali has reported: I saw Imam Zayn al-`Abidin in prayer while his cloak was falling off his shoulders but he did not make any attempt to hold it until he completed his prayer. I asked about it. The Imam said, “Woe to you! Do you know before Whom was I standing? Prayer is not accepted save with full concentration and presence of heart.”
A Qur’anic Pardon
One of the slave-girls of Imam Zayn al-`Abidin was pouring water on his hands while performing ablution when all of a sudden the ewer hit and hurt the Imam’s face. The Imam raised his head towards her. The slave-girl said: Allah says, “Those who restrain their anger.” The Imam said, “I restrained my anger.” The slave-girl said, “…and pardon men.” The Imam said, “I pardoned you.” The slave-girl said, “…and Allah loves the doers of good.” The Imam said, “You are free in the way of Allah.”
Day of Loss
Imam al-Sadiq (a.s) reported: There was a clown in Medina who would make people laugh. One day he said to himself, “This man (Imam Zayn al-`Abidin) has made me helpless to make him laugh!” So, when the Imam was followed by two of his servants, he passed by the clown. Seeing the Imam, the clown walked behind him, drew his cloak and ran away. The Imam did not pay any attention to the clown but people went after him and took back the cloak. Addressing people, the Imam said, “Who is this man?” They said, “He is a making people of Medina laugh.” The Imam said, “Tell him there is a day for Allah in which idle people will suffer losses.”
Unknown Among Travelers
Imam al-Sadiq has reported: Imam Zayn al-`Abidin used to go on trips without letting his co-travelers recognize him so that he could help them as an unknown person. However, he was recognized by one of his co-travelers, “Do you know who this man is? This is `Ali ibn al-Husayn.” People rushed to him kissing his hands and feet, saying, “O son of Allah’s Messenger: We might have harmed you with our hands and tongues hence deserving hell! What made you travel in this way?” The Imam said, “Once I traveled with a group who knew me very well, they treated me for the sake of the Holy Prophet in a way I did not deserve. I thought you might do the same. For this reason, I prefer to travel as an unknown person.”
Kindness To A Camel
Imam al-Sadiq (a.s) has reported: When he was passing away, `Ali ibn al-Husayn said to his son, Imam al-Baqir, “I have gone on Hajj on this camel for twenty times and I have not given it a lash. Bury it when it dies so that it will not be eaten by wild animals, for Allah’s Messenger has said: Any camel which goes to `Arafah for seven times, Allah will make it one of the blessings of Paradise and place blessing in its offspring.” When the camel of the Imam died, they buried it.
Giving Away His Food
When `Ali ibn al-Husayn was fasting, he would have a sheep slaughtered, its meat cut into pieces and cooked. At sunset while he had not broken his fast, he would order to bring the bowls, fill them and take them to such and such houses until there was no more food in the pot. Then, they brought bread and date for the Imam to break his fast with.
Helping The Needy
When dark overwhelmed Medina and people were at rest, Imam Zayn al-`Abidin would come out of house to go to the needy people and divide among them the food which he carried in a bag on his shoulder while covering his face so that none would know him. On many occasions, he would stand waiting at the doors so that they would come and take their shares. When they saw him face to face, they would say: He is the possessor of bag!”
The Story of Grapes
Imam al-Sadiq (a.s) has reported: Imam Zayn al-`Abidin was very fond of grapes. One day, they had brought fresh grapes to Medina. His wife bought some of them for him to break his fast with. When they brought them before him and he stretched out his hand to take some, a needy person knocked the door and asked for something. The Imam told his wife to take the grapes for the needy person. She said, “Some of it was enough for the needy person.” The Imam said, “No, By Allah; take all of it for him.” The next day, again they bought grapes for him but an indigent person came to the door and the Imam gave him all of the grapes. The third night, no needy came. So the Imam ate the grapes saying, “We did not lose anything in it, thanks to Allah.”
Nobility in Childhood
`Abdullah ibn Mubarak reports: When I was on Hajj to Mecca, I caught sight of a seven or eight year old child walking alongside a caravan of pilgrims with no provision with him. I went forward, saluted him and asked, “With whom did you cover the desert?” He said, “With the Beneficent Allah.” He looked great to me. I asked, “Where is your provision, my son?” He said, “My piety is my provision and my Lord is my goal.” He looked magnanimous. I asked, “Which lineage do you come from?” He said, “`Abd al-Muttalib.”
- “Which family?”
- “Hashim.”
- “Which branch.”
- `Ali - Fatimah.”
- O my master! Have you composed a poem?
- “Yes, I have.”
- “Recite part of your poem.”
The Imam recited a poem with the following words:
We are those sent to the pond of Kawthar. We give water to some and repel others. None can attain salvation but through our mediation. One who loves us will not suffer losses and one who makes us happy will receive happiness from us and whoever harms us will be of low birth. One who usurps our right will be punished on the Judgment Day!
Then I lost sight of him until I came to Mecca. When I completed my Hajj rituals and returned to al-Abtah, I saw a circle of people round someone. It was the same child with whom I spoke. I asked who he was. They said that he was Zayn al-`Abidin.
What do you know about the morality of Imam Zayn al-`Abidin Ali bin Al-Hussain?
i agree, these were great, i enjoyed them very much., i came to this site to laugh but learned of much things, that can be just as good as laughter, I'm native american and honored to have had read your words. huy chewx aa. thank you.
Reply:i loved reading all those and wish you wrote more
Reply:Thankyou Bro !.
http://www.al-islam.org/
Reply:thanx... i never knew some of these stories
Reply:Jazak Allah Khayr!
hair accessories
JOHN MACAIN will be the next President ?
John McCain's remarks about the Pledge of Allegiance
In light of the recent appeals court ruling in California, with respect to the Pledge of Allegiance, the following recollection from Senator John McCain is very appropriate:
'The Pledge of Allegiance' - by Senator John McCain
"As you may know, I spent five and one half years as a prisoner of war during the Vietnam War. In the early years of our imprisonment, the NVA kept us in solitary confinement or two or three to a cell. In 1971 the NVA moved us from these conditions of isolation into large rooms with as many as 30 to 40 men to a room.
This was, as you can imagine, a wonderful change and was a direct result of the efforts of millions of Americans on behalf of a few hundred POWs 10,000 miles from home.
One of the men who moved into my room was a young man named Mike Christian.
Mike came from a small town near Selma , Alabama He didn't wear a pair of shoes until he was 13 years old. At 17, he enlisted in the US Navy. He later earned a commission by going to Officer Training School Then he became a Naval Flight Officer and was shot down and captured in 1967. Mike had a keen and deep appreciation of the opportunities this country and our military provide for people who want to work and want to succeed.
As part of the change in treatment, the Vietnamese allowed some prisoners to receive packages from home. In some of these packages were handkerchiefs, scarves and other items of clothing.
Mike got himself a bamboo needle. Over a period of a couple of months, he created an American flag and sewed it on the inside of his shirt.
Every afternoon, before we had a bowl of soup, we would hang Mike's shirt on the wall of the cell and say the Pledge of Allegiance.
I know the Pledge of Allegiance may not seem the most important part of our day now, but I can assure you that in that stark cell it was indeed the most important and meaningful event.
One day the Vietnamese searched our cell, as they did periodically, and discovered Mike's shirt with the flag sewn inside, and removed it.
That evening they returned, opened the door of the cell, and for the benefit of all of us, beat Mike Christian severely for the next couple of hours. Then, they opened the door of the cell and threw him in. We cleaned him up as well as we could.
The cell in which we lived had a concrete slab in the middle on which we slept. Four naked light bulbs hung in each corner of the room.
As I said, we tried to clean up Mike as well as we could. After the excitement died down, I looked in the corner of the room, and sitting there beneath that dim light bulb with a piece of red cloth, another shirt and his bamboo needle, was my friend, Mike Christian. He was sitting there with his eyes almost shut from the beating he had received, making another American flag. He was not making the flag because it made Mike Christian feel better. He was making that flag because he knew how important it was to us to be able to Pledge our allegiance to our flag and country.
So the next time you say the Pledge of Allegiance, you must never forget the sacrifice and courage that thousands of Americans have made to build our nation and promote freedom around the world. You must remember our duty, our honor, and our country."
"I pledge allegiance to the flag of the United States of America and to the republic for which it stands, one nation under G od, indivisable, with liberty and justice for all."
PASS THIS ON... And on... And on! You can even send it back to me, I don't mind, because its worth reading again.
JOHN MACAIN will be the next President ?
For those of you who may question this story...
http://www.snopes.com/rumors/soapbox/mcc...
Reply:will have my vote
Reply:i suggest stop watching fox and read more
start here
Reply:No, I don't think he will become President, nor do I think that any Republican has a chance this time around. As for the above looooong story, I've seen it before and is testimonial to a good patriot, but is not qualification for the highest office. I think he is a good man, but he is too much like the man who occupies the chair in the Oval Office now.
dancing quotes
In light of the recent appeals court ruling in California, with respect to the Pledge of Allegiance, the following recollection from Senator John McCain is very appropriate:
'The Pledge of Allegiance' - by Senator John McCain
"As you may know, I spent five and one half years as a prisoner of war during the Vietnam War. In the early years of our imprisonment, the NVA kept us in solitary confinement or two or three to a cell. In 1971 the NVA moved us from these conditions of isolation into large rooms with as many as 30 to 40 men to a room.
This was, as you can imagine, a wonderful change and was a direct result of the efforts of millions of Americans on behalf of a few hundred POWs 10,000 miles from home.
One of the men who moved into my room was a young man named Mike Christian.
Mike came from a small town near Selma , Alabama He didn't wear a pair of shoes until he was 13 years old. At 17, he enlisted in the US Navy. He later earned a commission by going to Officer Training School Then he became a Naval Flight Officer and was shot down and captured in 1967. Mike had a keen and deep appreciation of the opportunities this country and our military provide for people who want to work and want to succeed.
As part of the change in treatment, the Vietnamese allowed some prisoners to receive packages from home. In some of these packages were handkerchiefs, scarves and other items of clothing.
Mike got himself a bamboo needle. Over a period of a couple of months, he created an American flag and sewed it on the inside of his shirt.
Every afternoon, before we had a bowl of soup, we would hang Mike's shirt on the wall of the cell and say the Pledge of Allegiance.
I know the Pledge of Allegiance may not seem the most important part of our day now, but I can assure you that in that stark cell it was indeed the most important and meaningful event.
One day the Vietnamese searched our cell, as they did periodically, and discovered Mike's shirt with the flag sewn inside, and removed it.
That evening they returned, opened the door of the cell, and for the benefit of all of us, beat Mike Christian severely for the next couple of hours. Then, they opened the door of the cell and threw him in. We cleaned him up as well as we could.
The cell in which we lived had a concrete slab in the middle on which we slept. Four naked light bulbs hung in each corner of the room.
As I said, we tried to clean up Mike as well as we could. After the excitement died down, I looked in the corner of the room, and sitting there beneath that dim light bulb with a piece of red cloth, another shirt and his bamboo needle, was my friend, Mike Christian. He was sitting there with his eyes almost shut from the beating he had received, making another American flag. He was not making the flag because it made Mike Christian feel better. He was making that flag because he knew how important it was to us to be able to Pledge our allegiance to our flag and country.
So the next time you say the Pledge of Allegiance, you must never forget the sacrifice and courage that thousands of Americans have made to build our nation and promote freedom around the world. You must remember our duty, our honor, and our country."
"I pledge allegiance to the flag of the United States of America and to the republic for which it stands, one nation under G od, indivisable, with liberty and justice for all."
PASS THIS ON... And on... And on! You can even send it back to me, I don't mind, because its worth reading again.
JOHN MACAIN will be the next President ?
For those of you who may question this story...
http://www.snopes.com/rumors/soapbox/mcc...
Reply:will have my vote
Reply:i suggest stop watching fox and read more
start here
Reply:No, I don't think he will become President, nor do I think that any Republican has a chance this time around. As for the above looooong story, I've seen it before and is testimonial to a good patriot, but is not qualification for the highest office. I think he is a good man, but he is too much like the man who occupies the chair in the Oval Office now.
dancing quotes
Please help me with suggestions on how I can make my one dog stop being so mean to my other dog?
A little bit of history on my dogs for you so that you might be able to help me. Giz (11 year old Lhasa Apsa) and Cosmo (1 year old Golden Retriever). Giz has always had a bit of an attitude, which in a way was cute. It seemed to just be his personality. He is very protective over me and freaks out if anyone touches my feet or my shoes and will attack. Since we got Cosmo, Giz has been horrible. He hates Cosmo. He won't let him eat, or drink. I have to feed them separately. I feed Cosmo outside, but if Giz is looking at him through the glass door, he gets scared and walks away from his bowl. Cosmo is fun, loving, would never bite anyone, or even act like he was going to bite anyone. He loves playing fetch, but Giz won't "allow" it. If I try playing fetch with Cosmo, Giz will run up and bite him. He has never allowed even children to run in the house. If the kids are getting too noisy, Giz will run up and bark and growl at them and make them calm down.
Please help me with suggestions on how I can make my one dog stop being so mean to my other dog?
It sounds like that because you really adored Giz since he was young and pretty much let him get his way (despite the fact that him "having an attitude" is a strong sign toward dominant aggression), he's the dominant one in your household--toward Cosmo AND towards you.
Giz is definitely not a lost cause and I wouldn't even consider putting him down as an option. This is just a typical case of when we love our dogs so much that we forget that we also have to discipline them. Regarding his behavior toward Cosmo:
Whenever Giz displays any aggression--not letting Cosmo drink/eat, acting competitive, barking, growling--you HAVE to discipline him. It is crucial that you make him acknowledge those actions are not acceptable. A simple "NO!" will not do, you will have to physically put Giz down into a lying down position on his back because that is the most submissive position for a dog. It is also a good idea to train him on a choke leash (or just loop a regular leash around him) and have him around Cosmo. If he displays any signs of aggression or dominance, give the leash a quick snap and have him calm down. You need to discipline him consistently--correcting his unacceptable behavior one day and then not doing anything the next time will only confuse him because he won't get the idea that what he did is wrong.
What really concerns me is Giz's aggression towards you and kids. When you say Giz won't "allow" something... do you notice how HE is the one in control? what about YOU? you should be the one to allow or not allow something, so it's really crucial that you start taking a dominant role in establishing what is acceptable and unacceptable behavior. Like I said, Giz's behavior sounds like it's definitely stemming from the fact that no one has disciplined him as to what he should or should not do. Because he has gotten away with bullying Cosmo and acting dominant towrads you and other people, taht's why he thinks it's ok. So as soon as you start correcting that behavior, and be consistent about it, his behavior should change.
Reply:First off, you have let it go on too long. Giz is top dog and intends to stay that way. Best idea...a very firm no each and every time. I use a small spray bottle to hurry things along, No... and
squirt. No harm no foul....water is in the bottle.
Reply:Your problem is very common.
You allowed the inappropriate behavior, so now you're going to have to fix it.
Find a professional dog trainer, explain your situation, ask if and how they can help. Shop around and don't be afraid to ask questions.
A reputable dog trainer will allow you to put your dog in a basic obedience class for a standard fee, $75-125.00 usually, that will allow you the control you need to put a stop to the behavior.
fashion accessories
Please help me with suggestions on how I can make my one dog stop being so mean to my other dog?
It sounds like that because you really adored Giz since he was young and pretty much let him get his way (despite the fact that him "having an attitude" is a strong sign toward dominant aggression), he's the dominant one in your household--toward Cosmo AND towards you.
Giz is definitely not a lost cause and I wouldn't even consider putting him down as an option. This is just a typical case of when we love our dogs so much that we forget that we also have to discipline them. Regarding his behavior toward Cosmo:
Whenever Giz displays any aggression--not letting Cosmo drink/eat, acting competitive, barking, growling--you HAVE to discipline him. It is crucial that you make him acknowledge those actions are not acceptable. A simple "NO!" will not do, you will have to physically put Giz down into a lying down position on his back because that is the most submissive position for a dog. It is also a good idea to train him on a choke leash (or just loop a regular leash around him) and have him around Cosmo. If he displays any signs of aggression or dominance, give the leash a quick snap and have him calm down. You need to discipline him consistently--correcting his unacceptable behavior one day and then not doing anything the next time will only confuse him because he won't get the idea that what he did is wrong.
What really concerns me is Giz's aggression towards you and kids. When you say Giz won't "allow" something... do you notice how HE is the one in control? what about YOU? you should be the one to allow or not allow something, so it's really crucial that you start taking a dominant role in establishing what is acceptable and unacceptable behavior. Like I said, Giz's behavior sounds like it's definitely stemming from the fact that no one has disciplined him as to what he should or should not do. Because he has gotten away with bullying Cosmo and acting dominant towrads you and other people, taht's why he thinks it's ok. So as soon as you start correcting that behavior, and be consistent about it, his behavior should change.
Reply:First off, you have let it go on too long. Giz is top dog and intends to stay that way. Best idea...a very firm no each and every time. I use a small spray bottle to hurry things along, No... and
squirt. No harm no foul....water is in the bottle.
Reply:Your problem is very common.
You allowed the inappropriate behavior, so now you're going to have to fix it.
Find a professional dog trainer, explain your situation, ask if and how they can help. Shop around and don't be afraid to ask questions.
A reputable dog trainer will allow you to put your dog in a basic obedience class for a standard fee, $75-125.00 usually, that will allow you the control you need to put a stop to the behavior.
fashion accessories
You Know You've Had Too Much Christmas Cheer When...?
1. You notice your tie sticking out of your fly.
2. Someone uses your tongue for a coaster.
3. You start kissing the portraits on the wall.
4. You see your underwear hanging from the chandelier.
5. You have to hold on to the floor to keep from sliding off.
6. You strike a match and light your nose.
7. You take off your shoes and wade in the potato salad.
8. You hear someone say, "Call a priest!"
9. You hear a duck quacking and it's you.
10. You complain about the small bathroom after emerging from the closet.
11. You refill your glass from the fish bowl.
12. You tell everyone you have to go home... and the party's at your place.
13. You ask for another ice cube and put it in your pocket.
14. You yawn at the biggest bore in the room... and realize you're in front of the hall mirror.
15. You pick up a roll, and butter your watch.
16. You suggest everyone stand and sing the national budget.
17. You're at the dinner table and you ask the hostess to pass a bedpan.
18. You take out your handkerchief and blow your ear.
19. You tell your best joke to the rubber plant.
20. You realize you're the only one under the coffee table.
You Know You've Had Too Much Christmas Cheer When...?
Not quite but almost, collapsed (head) in trifle, and chased a dropped, hot and greasy turkey across the kitchen floor, memorable that one, as my mother-in -law witnessed the whole performance, pretty disapprovingly.......these days are long gone now and both trifle and turkey remain intact while i remain sober !
Reply:About half of them I have done, but you don't have the other one at all that nearly everyone who is drunk does. That been put a traffic cone on your head and start trying to kiss a cop.
Reply:i went xmas shoppin on friday got on so well i thought i deserved a lil drink about 12 hours later i woke up without shopping and with the worst hangover ever,oh am i in the sh*t.
Reply:Number 5 a few dozen times
I love seatle I am getting you a sense of humour for Christmas,hope it will fit
Reply:Funny and interesting if it wasn't in this category. When are you going to get lost from here? You have a few 'hangers on' which seemst otmake you continually post. However, you must notice how many are ignoring you on here.
Reply:Number 19 looks dodgey would a grandfathers clock do.
Reply:PMSL, I have done none of them.
Not that I would remember if I had lol
Reply:LOL,youre losing the plot.
Reply:I burned my nose...once. Not on purpose though.
Reply:I've done each and every one of those when I was 18 and really p*ssed.
Reply:lol!
Number 4, but it was the lady's underwear on the bedside lamp.
Reply:You've just got in as drunk as me knowing you have wasted £6.00 on the biggest kebab knowing you have no hope in hell of eating it all but drunken pride says you must try.
xxx garlic sauce kiss to you.
Reply:I haven't had any of these things happen to me
Reply:I've done all 20
Sober
Reply:all of the above.
Reply:I can honestly say I've not done one of those things.lol :0)
Reply:u'd have to be an idiot to...
post this non question
hair care
2. Someone uses your tongue for a coaster.
3. You start kissing the portraits on the wall.
4. You see your underwear hanging from the chandelier.
5. You have to hold on to the floor to keep from sliding off.
6. You strike a match and light your nose.
7. You take off your shoes and wade in the potato salad.
8. You hear someone say, "Call a priest!"
9. You hear a duck quacking and it's you.
10. You complain about the small bathroom after emerging from the closet.
11. You refill your glass from the fish bowl.
12. You tell everyone you have to go home... and the party's at your place.
13. You ask for another ice cube and put it in your pocket.
14. You yawn at the biggest bore in the room... and realize you're in front of the hall mirror.
15. You pick up a roll, and butter your watch.
16. You suggest everyone stand and sing the national budget.
17. You're at the dinner table and you ask the hostess to pass a bedpan.
18. You take out your handkerchief and blow your ear.
19. You tell your best joke to the rubber plant.
20. You realize you're the only one under the coffee table.
You Know You've Had Too Much Christmas Cheer When...?
Not quite but almost, collapsed (head) in trifle, and chased a dropped, hot and greasy turkey across the kitchen floor, memorable that one, as my mother-in -law witnessed the whole performance, pretty disapprovingly.......these days are long gone now and both trifle and turkey remain intact while i remain sober !
Reply:About half of them I have done, but you don't have the other one at all that nearly everyone who is drunk does. That been put a traffic cone on your head and start trying to kiss a cop.
Reply:i went xmas shoppin on friday got on so well i thought i deserved a lil drink about 12 hours later i woke up without shopping and with the worst hangover ever,oh am i in the sh*t.
Reply:Number 5 a few dozen times
I love seatle I am getting you a sense of humour for Christmas,hope it will fit
Reply:Funny and interesting if it wasn't in this category. When are you going to get lost from here? You have a few 'hangers on' which seemst otmake you continually post. However, you must notice how many are ignoring you on here.
Reply:Number 19 looks dodgey would a grandfathers clock do.
Reply:PMSL, I have done none of them.
Not that I would remember if I had lol
Reply:LOL,youre losing the plot.
Reply:I burned my nose...once. Not on purpose though.
Reply:I've done each and every one of those when I was 18 and really p*ssed.
Reply:lol!
Number 4, but it was the lady's underwear on the bedside lamp.
Reply:You've just got in as drunk as me knowing you have wasted £6.00 on the biggest kebab knowing you have no hope in hell of eating it all but drunken pride says you must try.
xxx garlic sauce kiss to you.
Reply:I haven't had any of these things happen to me
Reply:I've done all 20
Sober
Reply:all of the above.
Reply:I can honestly say I've not done one of those things.lol :0)
Reply:u'd have to be an idiot to...
post this non question
hair care
Who will play in the Brut Sun Bowl? Could it be USC and South Florida?
Brut Sun Bowl is played by Pac-10 #3 and Big East. South Florida is the team to watch in the Big East and should be a shoe in. In the Pac-10 it will likely be Cal will finish #1, Oregon #2, and USC #3.
Who will play in the Brut Sun Bowl? Could it be USC and South Florida?
I can only hope USC will lose to South Florida
Reply:i think USC will lost to cal and possible oregon as well.
Reply:doubt it usc will probably win the pac ten but if they don't they will still go to a bcs bowl or at the very least the holiday bowl. south florida will win the big east. so probably louisville and arizona state more likely
Reply:Oregon will not be 2 they just lost to Cal. If anything Cal will be 1 or 2.
freckles
Who will play in the Brut Sun Bowl? Could it be USC and South Florida?
I can only hope USC will lose to South Florida
Reply:i think USC will lost to cal and possible oregon as well.
Reply:doubt it usc will probably win the pac ten but if they don't they will still go to a bcs bowl or at the very least the holiday bowl. south florida will win the big east. so probably louisville and arizona state more likely
Reply:Oregon will not be 2 they just lost to Cal. If anything Cal will be 1 or 2.
freckles
Who knows more effective things?
a one legged man in an a-s-s kicking contest
milk shoes
a nuclear powered computer controlled intercontinental ballistic duck
a flammable fire extinguisher
a glass baseball bat
a blind lifeguard
wooden soap
a knitted light bulbs
an invisible traffic light
plasticine wire cutters
a neon pink secret door
a lead balloon
a water hat
a steel reinforced concrete sail
a silent telephone
a tap dancing microprocessor controlled portrait of a bowl of soup
a waterproof tea bag
a licorice suspension bridge
soap false teeth
ice cream saucepans
a soluble drain pipe
a cubic ball bearing
an inflatable dartboard
a glass hammer
and a packet of rubber nails
revolving basement restaurant
objective journalism
Braille speedometers
a screen door on a submarine
an ejector seat in a helicopter
boobs on a bull
a condom with a hole in it
a box of matches in the desert
Who knows more effective things?
Birth control.
Reply:this answer
a box of waterproof matches in the middle of the ocean on a rubber lifeboat
Reply:Hmmmm... you got me there!
I'm gonna go with...Boobs on a bull! lol
If I think of anything, I'll get back to you!
insurance
milk shoes
a nuclear powered computer controlled intercontinental ballistic duck
a flammable fire extinguisher
a glass baseball bat
a blind lifeguard
wooden soap
a knitted light bulbs
an invisible traffic light
plasticine wire cutters
a neon pink secret door
a lead balloon
a water hat
a steel reinforced concrete sail
a silent telephone
a tap dancing microprocessor controlled portrait of a bowl of soup
a waterproof tea bag
a licorice suspension bridge
soap false teeth
ice cream saucepans
a soluble drain pipe
a cubic ball bearing
an inflatable dartboard
a glass hammer
and a packet of rubber nails
revolving basement restaurant
objective journalism
Braille speedometers
a screen door on a submarine
an ejector seat in a helicopter
boobs on a bull
a condom with a hole in it
a box of matches in the desert
Who knows more effective things?
Birth control.
Reply:this answer
a box of waterproof matches in the middle of the ocean on a rubber lifeboat
Reply:Hmmmm... you got me there!
I'm gonna go with...Boobs on a bull! lol
If I think of anything, I'll get back to you!
insurance
Does anyone else's dog eat poo?
My pup just picked up the GROSSEST habit! There's a doggy run at my apartment with this pile of poop that she simply HAS to feast on every time I take her out there. It's disgusting.
I monitor her, and every time I see her going for the pile, I run at her real quick to get her to go away. But sometimes, she's just too fast for me. Why do dogs (or at least, MY dog) eat crap? She's got an entire bowl of food just sitting here, and she wants to eat feces.
I can handle a lot, but this is just nasty. Eat my shoes or something, but leave the sh*t where it is!
Does anyone else's dog eat poo?
Yes, lots of dogs eat crap and some like to roll in it. Clean up after your dog right away or get use to it.
Reply:It happens a lot. It's called Coprophagia. She could have interest in the other dogs poo becuase she may be lacking some nutrients in her own food. Be sure you feed her a good quality dog food. Then maybe you could clean the poo in the run? Does no one clean up after their dogs there? You could also sprinkle cayenne pepper on the pile when you go out there - a couple bites of that and she will not want any more!
Reply:Lots of dogs like to snack from the cat's litter box. Others enjoy eating horse poop. I guess there must be some who eat dog poop. It's all pretty disgusting, isn't it? I guess it must taste good if you're a dog. Maybe you could ask your vet if your dog needs a vitamin supplement or a different kind of food. It could also be that your dog is perfectly healthy and well nourished and just has a nasty habit.
Reply:I can't really offer you any suggestions as to why they do this, but my dog did the same thing. He went as far as eating my toddler's poo. I was changing his diaper and I look over, and sure enough he's over there in the diaper going to town. I just kept spanking him, and telling him no, and eventually he stopped.
Reply:Dogs eat poop when they are protein deprived. Purchase a better grade of dog food, and toss in some cooked chicken livers until the dog no longer feels the need to eat poop.
If you feed a puppy cheap dog food which is mostly corn and low-nutrition fillers, don't be surprised if the dog is still hungry.
Reply:We had a dog that eat human feces once (I will not go in to that story lets just say gross), and my mothers Yorkie loves to go into the horse pen and eat their poop. Ask your vet if you dog is not getting the right stuff from her food and go some where else, if you can, if not clean the run up, better yet ask other owners to, as it is their dogs making the mess.
Reply:You can go to the pet store to get these pills that stop them from doing that. My brother uses them for his dog that loves cat poo. They work great.
Reply:my dog eats poo too it real nasty by the way im 9 and my puppy is 6 months
Reply:allmost all dogs do, if its a huge problem, either clean the run before fido gets in there to dine or take him to a park where theres less poo! if he eats his own, there is stuff you can add to his food to make his poo taste like ..well, crap..lol (still dont know how to make poo taste worse than it is) and fido wont be tempted o eat it anymore.
Reply:You need to get better dog food they need better nutrients so they eat their poo and after so long it becomes a habit so you need to poop scoop right away
maintenance repairs
I monitor her, and every time I see her going for the pile, I run at her real quick to get her to go away. But sometimes, she's just too fast for me. Why do dogs (or at least, MY dog) eat crap? She's got an entire bowl of food just sitting here, and she wants to eat feces.
I can handle a lot, but this is just nasty. Eat my shoes or something, but leave the sh*t where it is!
Does anyone else's dog eat poo?
Yes, lots of dogs eat crap and some like to roll in it. Clean up after your dog right away or get use to it.
Reply:It happens a lot. It's called Coprophagia. She could have interest in the other dogs poo becuase she may be lacking some nutrients in her own food. Be sure you feed her a good quality dog food. Then maybe you could clean the poo in the run? Does no one clean up after their dogs there? You could also sprinkle cayenne pepper on the pile when you go out there - a couple bites of that and she will not want any more!
Reply:Lots of dogs like to snack from the cat's litter box. Others enjoy eating horse poop. I guess there must be some who eat dog poop. It's all pretty disgusting, isn't it? I guess it must taste good if you're a dog. Maybe you could ask your vet if your dog needs a vitamin supplement or a different kind of food. It could also be that your dog is perfectly healthy and well nourished and just has a nasty habit.
Reply:I can't really offer you any suggestions as to why they do this, but my dog did the same thing. He went as far as eating my toddler's poo. I was changing his diaper and I look over, and sure enough he's over there in the diaper going to town. I just kept spanking him, and telling him no, and eventually he stopped.
Reply:Dogs eat poop when they are protein deprived. Purchase a better grade of dog food, and toss in some cooked chicken livers until the dog no longer feels the need to eat poop.
If you feed a puppy cheap dog food which is mostly corn and low-nutrition fillers, don't be surprised if the dog is still hungry.
Reply:We had a dog that eat human feces once (I will not go in to that story lets just say gross), and my mothers Yorkie loves to go into the horse pen and eat their poop. Ask your vet if you dog is not getting the right stuff from her food and go some where else, if you can, if not clean the run up, better yet ask other owners to, as it is their dogs making the mess.
Reply:You can go to the pet store to get these pills that stop them from doing that. My brother uses them for his dog that loves cat poo. They work great.
Reply:my dog eats poo too it real nasty by the way im 9 and my puppy is 6 months
Reply:allmost all dogs do, if its a huge problem, either clean the run before fido gets in there to dine or take him to a park where theres less poo! if he eats his own, there is stuff you can add to his food to make his poo taste like ..well, crap..lol (still dont know how to make poo taste worse than it is) and fido wont be tempted o eat it anymore.
Reply:You need to get better dog food they need better nutrients so they eat their poo and after so long it becomes a habit so you need to poop scoop right away
maintenance repairs
It is stupid, you should be able to answer a question 2 times. i can't figure how to. read. jokes.?
kay, so i can't figure out how to give though girl another joke so i am putting a few right here. "answer" though girl!
Yo moma so stupid she was watching the news and when it said it was going to be chili (cold) outside, she grabbed a bowl and headed outside.
Yo moma so stupid she sits on the tv and watches the couch
yo moma so fat she has to trick or treat over the internet.
Yo moma so stupid she has to put lipstick on her forehead to make-up her mind
why did the fork go to the hospital? he was bent out of shape!
yo moma so ugly, they filmed "gorilla in the mist" in her shower room
blonde jokes: no offense. really. they're just funny.
Why did the blonde were too pairs of shoes golfing? incase he got a hole in one.
There was a blonde that kept checking her mail on a sunday morning. When her neighbor was sick of it, he walked over and told her there's nomail on sunday.she said"i know,it's weird, my comp says i do"
It is stupid, you should be able to answer a question 2 times. i can't figure how to. read. jokes.?
lol. these were really funny
Reply:Kinda funny.
Reply:They were OK!
Reply:LOL.
Have a great day!
Reply:funny i like this one the best:yo moma so ugly, they filmed "gorilla in the mist" in her shower room
Adidas
Yo moma so stupid she was watching the news and when it said it was going to be chili (cold) outside, she grabbed a bowl and headed outside.
Yo moma so stupid she sits on the tv and watches the couch
yo moma so fat she has to trick or treat over the internet.
Yo moma so stupid she has to put lipstick on her forehead to make-up her mind
why did the fork go to the hospital? he was bent out of shape!
yo moma so ugly, they filmed "gorilla in the mist" in her shower room
blonde jokes: no offense. really. they're just funny.
Why did the blonde were too pairs of shoes golfing? incase he got a hole in one.
There was a blonde that kept checking her mail on a sunday morning. When her neighbor was sick of it, he walked over and told her there's nomail on sunday.she said"i know,it's weird, my comp says i do"
It is stupid, you should be able to answer a question 2 times. i can't figure how to. read. jokes.?
lol. these were really funny
Reply:Kinda funny.
Reply:They were OK!
Reply:LOL.
Have a great day!
Reply:funny i like this one the best:yo moma so ugly, they filmed "gorilla in the mist" in her shower room
Adidas
Joke:::Don't go to the bathroom on October 28th?
CIA intelligence reports that a major plot is planned for that day. Anyone who takes a poop on the 28th will be bitten on the *** by an alligator. Reports indicate that organized groups of alligators are planning to rise up into unsuspecting American's toilet bowls and bite them when they are doing their dirty business.
I usually don't send emails like this, but I got this information from a reliable source.
It came from a friend of a friend whose cousin is dating this girl whose brother knows this guy whose wife knows this lady whose husband buys hotdogs from this guy who knows a shoeshine guy who shines the shoes of a mailroom worker who has a friend who's drug dealer sells drugs to another mailroom worker who works in the CIA building. He apparently overheard two guys talking in the bathroom about alligators and came to the conclusion that we are going to be attacked. So it must be true.
Joke:::Don't go to the bathroom on October 28th?
ha ha funny. i love it! have a star! *
Reply:But what iffa I gotta gooooo? Oh dear what am I to do? I surely can't sling my crap around the internet. That's just unheard of! Crap on the internet the most reliable of all sources sheesh.
Reply:I'll come over the week before, maybe an alligator can remove my splinters?
At least it's not pink fluffy peguins?
Reply:that's a really important piece of info pray i remember thanx for the laugh
Reply:hahahhahahahahahaha
Reply:glade u told me! i better mark that on my calender!l!!!!!!lol
Reply:Ha ha ha.!!!
Very good one again.!!!
10/10.!!!
Smoking hot tonight Jane.!!!
Reply:dude, your sad.
Reply:ahahahha wow... here's a joke for you:
A boy was meeting his girlfriend's parents for the first time for dinner. After dinner, his girlfriend and her mother left the room to do the dishes, leaving him with the father and the dog Duke, who was sitting underneath the boy's chair. Unfortunately, it was a large dinner and he really had to fart. He stealthily let out a quiet, but audible, fart.
"Duke!" the dad yelled.
"This is great!" the boy thought. "He thinks the dog is farting!" So he let out another one.
"Duke!" the father barked. The boy thought he was homefree so he let everything out at once in a really loud and smelly fart.
"Duke! Get out of there before the boy sh*ts on you!"
Reply:You need to find a hobby...
By the way, this is the English site in general... I am in America...
Reply:thak god im in the uk
Reply:ok
Reply:Thanx, Calamity. I'll poop in the sink that day.
Reply:Thanks for the info! LOL!
Reply:Hahahahahaha, good one Calam.
there seems to be a couple of humourless people on today though.
Reply:aww i look out that day, i could do with a pet
Reply:ha ha ha funny
Reply:hmmmm interesting....
Reply:That's ok, we're in the UK on this site - go tell it to the American people.
business
I usually don't send emails like this, but I got this information from a reliable source.
It came from a friend of a friend whose cousin is dating this girl whose brother knows this guy whose wife knows this lady whose husband buys hotdogs from this guy who knows a shoeshine guy who shines the shoes of a mailroom worker who has a friend who's drug dealer sells drugs to another mailroom worker who works in the CIA building. He apparently overheard two guys talking in the bathroom about alligators and came to the conclusion that we are going to be attacked. So it must be true.
Joke:::Don't go to the bathroom on October 28th?
ha ha funny. i love it! have a star! *
Reply:But what iffa I gotta gooooo? Oh dear what am I to do? I surely can't sling my crap around the internet. That's just unheard of! Crap on the internet the most reliable of all sources sheesh.
Reply:I'll come over the week before, maybe an alligator can remove my splinters?
At least it's not pink fluffy peguins?
Reply:that's a really important piece of info pray i remember thanx for the laugh
Reply:hahahhahahahahahaha
Reply:glade u told me! i better mark that on my calender!l!!!!!!lol
Reply:Ha ha ha.!!!
Very good one again.!!!
10/10.!!!
Smoking hot tonight Jane.!!!
Reply:dude, your sad.
Reply:ahahahha wow... here's a joke for you:
A boy was meeting his girlfriend's parents for the first time for dinner. After dinner, his girlfriend and her mother left the room to do the dishes, leaving him with the father and the dog Duke, who was sitting underneath the boy's chair. Unfortunately, it was a large dinner and he really had to fart. He stealthily let out a quiet, but audible, fart.
"Duke!" the dad yelled.
"This is great!" the boy thought. "He thinks the dog is farting!" So he let out another one.
"Duke!" the father barked. The boy thought he was homefree so he let everything out at once in a really loud and smelly fart.
"Duke! Get out of there before the boy sh*ts on you!"
Reply:You need to find a hobby...
By the way, this is the English site in general... I am in America...
Reply:thak god im in the uk
Reply:ok
Reply:Thanx, Calamity. I'll poop in the sink that day.
Reply:Thanks for the info! LOL!
Reply:Hahahahahaha, good one Calam.
there seems to be a couple of humourless people on today though.
Reply:aww i look out that day, i could do with a pet
Reply:ha ha ha funny
Reply:hmmmm interesting....
Reply:That's ok, we're in the UK on this site - go tell it to the American people.
business
Why do kids come up with lame excuses?
i have 4 from 4 to 13 yrs old the older ones always come up with the lamest stories.they say ,im bored i tell them to go outside and play and all they do is say there is nothing to do.i have a big back yard and live sorta in the country and they have outside toys.one kids says thigs like he cant use the crochet kit because its not all there.because they lost the pieces because they didnt put things away when they were done and told to.or you get the got thrown away,which is because they leave the toys in the yard ,its time to mow the lawn and guess what they get chopped up and ruined,why begause they didnt put hem away.or how about they want a bowl cause they cant reach,yet they can reach the icecream in the freezer which is higher up.or they cant find their shoes but know where they stashed last years halloween candy.also cant work washing machine yet can play games on ps2 that are 10 times harder .whats your stories,tell me.
Why do kids come up with lame excuses?
i have 2 kids, and it kills me when they come whining " we have noone to play with" gimme a break, i'm an only child, they at least have each other to play with!
Reply:It's laziness. My parents did this to me, and I hated it, but now I think it's brilliant. If you hear them say "I'm bored" you make them go clean something. The kitchen, the toilet, mop, sweep, whatever. It really motivates them to find something to do for themselves instead of whining.
Reply:im a id and i understand half of it!!. they get bored of the same toys every single time. its much more fun to hang out with other friends.for the ps2 one, well they train there brain to do those hard things plus they like to do it. and when your doing the washer well every kmid hates to do that so we dont do it rite from on accident. for the ice cream thing i dont understand that because i dont even eat ice cream(to much surger) but theres my reason for your stories!!
Reply:because (im 12) we are lazy and bored easily, have u actually tried playing a sport with them?basketball is a good choice or the ones they're into.about the dishwasher thing, why do u think ur making them do it?because YOU dont want to do it.and the bowl and ice cream thing, were lazy and self centered.
maintenance repairs
Why do kids come up with lame excuses?
i have 2 kids, and it kills me when they come whining " we have noone to play with" gimme a break, i'm an only child, they at least have each other to play with!
Reply:It's laziness. My parents did this to me, and I hated it, but now I think it's brilliant. If you hear them say "I'm bored" you make them go clean something. The kitchen, the toilet, mop, sweep, whatever. It really motivates them to find something to do for themselves instead of whining.
Reply:im a id and i understand half of it!!. they get bored of the same toys every single time. its much more fun to hang out with other friends.for the ps2 one, well they train there brain to do those hard things plus they like to do it. and when your doing the washer well every kmid hates to do that so we dont do it rite from on accident. for the ice cream thing i dont understand that because i dont even eat ice cream(to much surger) but theres my reason for your stories!!
Reply:because (im 12) we are lazy and bored easily, have u actually tried playing a sport with them?basketball is a good choice or the ones they're into.about the dishwasher thing, why do u think ur making them do it?because YOU dont want to do it.and the bowl and ice cream thing, were lazy and self centered.
maintenance repairs
What do I do about my cat going crazy?
I have a cat that is almost 1 1/2 years old... She was a great kitty until recently. She creeps around the house and is afraid of everything. It started with her being afraid of 1 pair of shoes that she would fight at and then it got worse. She is afraid to walk in doorways so she creeps and if a sudden movement is made she will jump out of her skin, literally. It was tolerable at first but now it has gotten worse where she is scared to go in the room where her litter box is so she used the bathroom on my kitchen rug and I was really upset but concerned at the same time. My husband hates cats but tolerated her when she was loving and playful but now that she's acting all wierd %26amp; crazy %26amp; using the bathroom everywhere he wants her gone %26amp; for me to get a new kitty... I don't know what to do! I love my kitty but she's not the same anymore. Oh and sometimes she won't eat because she is too afraid to walk to her food bowl! Has anyone ever dealt with this? What should I do?
What do I do about my cat going crazy?
pack your husband's things and get 'him gone'....
ahaha!! just kidding! ;)
seriously tho.. is there something maybe that has scared her so bad to cause her to be so anxious now? had a friend whose hubby hated cats too, and she put up a camera to see what her cat got up to while she was gone. she was stunned to find out that her cat hating hubby actually was hurting the cat when she wasn't there. isn't that sad? :( well anyway, maybe someone or something scared her real bad when you weren't there? do you have other pets?
sounds to me like her being so scared of 1 pair of shoes could be because maybe she got kicked by someone wearing those shoes? and with her being all of a sudden scared to walk in doorways maybe someone or something jumped out at her from one at some point. cats usually either are skittish or they aren't, they don't usually become more skittish the older they get. we've had tons of cats, with all personalities, while my sons were growing up, so have had plenty of exp. with them.
one thing I did learn as our cats got older, which seemed odd, is that cats really DO prefer to go pee in one litter box and poo in another. when even the best litter trained cats start having potty problems, there's usually a reason. could be emotional, could be physical, could just mean they are getting picky the older they get. one of our cats who had always been good about using the litter box decided that she would go poo in one, then step out and pee on the floor right near it, or on anything laying on the floor. sounds weird, but getting her two litter boxes solved that potty prob.
we had one male cat that was a little lovebug, but he hated going outside! was fine inside, but would stand at the door and not budge an inch even when his best buddy, my youngest son, would plead with him to come on out with him. the cat was like nooooooo wayyyy! one day, I guess he just couldn't help himself, he stepped one trembly little paw out the door, then leaped about 5 feet in the air and ran back inside all the way to underneath my son's bed. lol.. never did get that little boy outside, and that's ok, cats are the way they are.
have you checked with the vet lately? could be your little girl may have a urinary tract infection, which might cause some potty probs.
as for her being too scared to walk to her food bowl.. i dunno! does she act all scared when it's just you and her in the same room? can you talk with hubby and ask him if he's ever been mean to her, scared her at some point? just seems to me that something's going on for her to be getting more and more scared like that! may want to ask the vet, she may need a kitty prozac or something! ;) would hate to see you have to give her up cuz she won't understand that and would likely be even more scared with people she doesn't know.
*edited to add:
Just read the comments you've added. and oh I hate to say this, yet feel i really need to! sounds to me like she's either being hurt or scared by your hubby. am SOOO sorry to say that, and HOPE it's not true! as for the vet, with them saying nothing's wrong, either find a new vet who will listen to your concerns, or go back and insist that the vet listen, that her behaviors are very different and you have concerns about her.
Reply:Hi there...perhaps your cat would be able to benefit from seeing a veterinarian who specializes feline behavioural conditions. Some cats who exhibit similar symptoms are yours may benefit from a short-term therapy of antidepressant/anxiety medication.
Any changes in the home can be viewed as very traumatizing to pet animals and they respond all differently as a result.
If her elimination disorder was ruled out as not a bladder infection this would be helpful to consider this more behavioural and therefore approached as such.
Some people have tried to use Rescue Remedy http://www.rescueremedy.com/pets/ found at most health food stores or some pet stores and it creates a calm for anxious cats, but severely anxious animals it may not be enough.
Reply:She's obviously been traumatized...someone or something is making her scared...are things going along OK between you and your husband? Have you moved, or had a new addition to the household (anything from a new pet to a new child) If none of the above, consult your vet...
Reply:put her food, litter box and her all in the same room but put her toys outside of that room and leave her alone for a while. she'll have everything she needs and whens shes lonely or bored enough she will venture out (hopefully) other then that i dont kno what u can do.. the poor thing...
you should have the vet check her out too if u can..
Reply:try the cat whisperer....chhhhhh!
Reply:i don't know much about animals but i do see when some thing is being tramitized...some ones making this cat life a living hell. it seems like my cat before we took her in. shes scared. some one did or doing something to that poor animal. i think you need to keep a eye on who that cat don't wanna get around. she seems like she been messed up. if the crap stops around her then she'll calm down but if not some ones doing it to make her act like that so she can go...not blaming her husband but...
Reply:I hate to say it, but the logical thing is that a person is abusing the cat. Flyinghighfreebird's answer makes a LOT of sense to me.
Reply:Sounds like something trumatic has happened recently, she could've been hit slightly by a car or attacked my another animal, or god forbit someone has started hurting her. looks like you'll just have to re-train and reassure her that you love her, lots of cuddle, pat her and comfort her while she's eating (if she'll let you) and find out the cause of this behaviou and eliminate it
Reply:That cat needs a psychological consultant
Reply:Have you tried talking to a trainer or a vet about this unusal problem with your cat? It is a good idea to get a professional opinion. If you cannot afford to take your cat to the vet just call your local SPCA or animal shelter and see what kind of tips they can give you. It is a behavioral problem; therefore, there had to be something in your home or an incident happened to trigger her nerves. You might have to retrain her. Make sure you bring her to her liter box frequently and let her know that is her pee pee or poo poo area and give her treats when she does.
Reply:Are you sure that your husband isn't being physically abusive to your kitty?
Reply:you should lock her in a separate room away from any people for around half an hour with no distractions then open the door and stand still and be very quiet for about 5 minutes let her get use to not being scared of everything then after 5 minutes make a loud A sound that is very quick and sharp the cat should jump a bit but then still stand still and quiet then you can move give her a treat and it should stop....=/ it works with dogs but it should also probably work with cats xD oh yeah and that works because being alone makes her calm if someone is abusing her then opening the door and standing still and then having a sudden sound will make her very scared but then she will be calm because she will know your not going to harm her when you stop making the noise
insurance registration
What do I do about my cat going crazy?
pack your husband's things and get 'him gone'....
ahaha!! just kidding! ;)
seriously tho.. is there something maybe that has scared her so bad to cause her to be so anxious now? had a friend whose hubby hated cats too, and she put up a camera to see what her cat got up to while she was gone. she was stunned to find out that her cat hating hubby actually was hurting the cat when she wasn't there. isn't that sad? :( well anyway, maybe someone or something scared her real bad when you weren't there? do you have other pets?
sounds to me like her being so scared of 1 pair of shoes could be because maybe she got kicked by someone wearing those shoes? and with her being all of a sudden scared to walk in doorways maybe someone or something jumped out at her from one at some point. cats usually either are skittish or they aren't, they don't usually become more skittish the older they get. we've had tons of cats, with all personalities, while my sons were growing up, so have had plenty of exp. with them.
one thing I did learn as our cats got older, which seemed odd, is that cats really DO prefer to go pee in one litter box and poo in another. when even the best litter trained cats start having potty problems, there's usually a reason. could be emotional, could be physical, could just mean they are getting picky the older they get. one of our cats who had always been good about using the litter box decided that she would go poo in one, then step out and pee on the floor right near it, or on anything laying on the floor. sounds weird, but getting her two litter boxes solved that potty prob.
we had one male cat that was a little lovebug, but he hated going outside! was fine inside, but would stand at the door and not budge an inch even when his best buddy, my youngest son, would plead with him to come on out with him. the cat was like nooooooo wayyyy! one day, I guess he just couldn't help himself, he stepped one trembly little paw out the door, then leaped about 5 feet in the air and ran back inside all the way to underneath my son's bed. lol.. never did get that little boy outside, and that's ok, cats are the way they are.
have you checked with the vet lately? could be your little girl may have a urinary tract infection, which might cause some potty probs.
as for her being too scared to walk to her food bowl.. i dunno! does she act all scared when it's just you and her in the same room? can you talk with hubby and ask him if he's ever been mean to her, scared her at some point? just seems to me that something's going on for her to be getting more and more scared like that! may want to ask the vet, she may need a kitty prozac or something! ;) would hate to see you have to give her up cuz she won't understand that and would likely be even more scared with people she doesn't know.
*edited to add:
Just read the comments you've added. and oh I hate to say this, yet feel i really need to! sounds to me like she's either being hurt or scared by your hubby. am SOOO sorry to say that, and HOPE it's not true! as for the vet, with them saying nothing's wrong, either find a new vet who will listen to your concerns, or go back and insist that the vet listen, that her behaviors are very different and you have concerns about her.
Reply:Hi there...perhaps your cat would be able to benefit from seeing a veterinarian who specializes feline behavioural conditions. Some cats who exhibit similar symptoms are yours may benefit from a short-term therapy of antidepressant/anxiety medication.
Any changes in the home can be viewed as very traumatizing to pet animals and they respond all differently as a result.
If her elimination disorder was ruled out as not a bladder infection this would be helpful to consider this more behavioural and therefore approached as such.
Some people have tried to use Rescue Remedy http://www.rescueremedy.com/pets/ found at most health food stores or some pet stores and it creates a calm for anxious cats, but severely anxious animals it may not be enough.
Reply:She's obviously been traumatized...someone or something is making her scared...are things going along OK between you and your husband? Have you moved, or had a new addition to the household (anything from a new pet to a new child) If none of the above, consult your vet...
Reply:put her food, litter box and her all in the same room but put her toys outside of that room and leave her alone for a while. she'll have everything she needs and whens shes lonely or bored enough she will venture out (hopefully) other then that i dont kno what u can do.. the poor thing...
you should have the vet check her out too if u can..
Reply:try the cat whisperer....chhhhhh!
Reply:i don't know much about animals but i do see when some thing is being tramitized...some ones making this cat life a living hell. it seems like my cat before we took her in. shes scared. some one did or doing something to that poor animal. i think you need to keep a eye on who that cat don't wanna get around. she seems like she been messed up. if the crap stops around her then she'll calm down but if not some ones doing it to make her act like that so she can go...not blaming her husband but...
Reply:I hate to say it, but the logical thing is that a person is abusing the cat. Flyinghighfreebird's answer makes a LOT of sense to me.
Reply:Sounds like something trumatic has happened recently, she could've been hit slightly by a car or attacked my another animal, or god forbit someone has started hurting her. looks like you'll just have to re-train and reassure her that you love her, lots of cuddle, pat her and comfort her while she's eating (if she'll let you) and find out the cause of this behaviou and eliminate it
Reply:That cat needs a psychological consultant
Reply:Have you tried talking to a trainer or a vet about this unusal problem with your cat? It is a good idea to get a professional opinion. If you cannot afford to take your cat to the vet just call your local SPCA or animal shelter and see what kind of tips they can give you. It is a behavioral problem; therefore, there had to be something in your home or an incident happened to trigger her nerves. You might have to retrain her. Make sure you bring her to her liter box frequently and let her know that is her pee pee or poo poo area and give her treats when she does.
Reply:Are you sure that your husband isn't being physically abusive to your kitty?
Reply:you should lock her in a separate room away from any people for around half an hour with no distractions then open the door and stand still and be very quiet for about 5 minutes let her get use to not being scared of everything then after 5 minutes make a loud A sound that is very quick and sharp the cat should jump a bit but then still stand still and quiet then you can move give her a treat and it should stop....=/ it works with dogs but it should also probably work with cats xD oh yeah and that works because being alone makes her calm if someone is abusing her then opening the door and standing still and then having a sudden sound will make her very scared but then she will be calm because she will know your not going to harm her when you stop making the noise
insurance registration
10 ways to scare your roomate?
10) Collect potatoes. Paint faces on them and give them names. Name one after your roommate. Separate your roommate's potato from the others. Wait a few days, and then bake your roommate's potato and eat it. Explain to your roommate, ''He just didn't belong.''
9) Move everything to one side of the room. Ask your roommate if he knows how much an elephant weighs, and look at the floor on the empty side of the room with concern.
8) Draw a tiny black line on your nose. Make it bigger every day. Look at it and say, ''The hair, it's growing. Growing!''
7) Buy some knives. Sharpen them every night. While you're doing so, look at your roommate and mutter, ''Soon, soon....''
6) Collect hundreds of pens and pile them on one side of the room. Keep one pencil on the other side of the room. Laugh at the pencil.
5) Tell your roommate, ''I've got an important message for you.'' Then pretend to faint. When you recover, say you can't remember what the message was. Later on, say, ''Oh, yeah, I remember!'' Pretend to faint again. Keep this up for several weeks.
4) While your roommate is out, glue your shoes to the ceiling. When your roommate walks in, sit on the floor, hold your head, and moan.
3) Make a sandwich. Don't eat it, leave it on the floor. Ignore the sandwich. Wait until your roommate gets rid of it, and then say, ''Hey, where the heck is my sandwich!?'' Complain loudly that you are hungry.
2) Every time your roommate walks in yell, ''Hooray! You're back!'' as loud as you can and dance around the room for five minutes. Afterwards, keep looking at your watch and saying, ''Shouldn't you be going somewhere?''
1) Talk back to your Rice Krispies. All of a sudden, act offended, throw the bowl on the floor and kick it. Refuse to clean it up, explaining, ''No, I want to watch them suffer.'''
10 ways to scare your roomate?
rotflmao omg i am still laffin about this for real i tried to tell them to my family but i couldnt stop laffing to get the words out!!! can u think of any more??
Reply:thats really funny, thanks for posting it.
Reply:hahahah.... =]
Reply:Hahahahahaha i wanna do number 7!
Reply:nice, these are pretty funny!!
Reply:Have you done any of these for real????
I think its warped but very funny...
Reply:ahahahahahaha.
I gotta try these on my room mate. =]
Reply:hahahahahahahahahahahahhahahahahahahahah...
I can't wait to try some of these...
Reply:omg, that is soo freaking hilarouis, i like # 1 the best
Reply:dude, I needed that info about 2 years ago.
damned roomates.
/doc
Reply:lol
i like 3
car makes
9) Move everything to one side of the room. Ask your roommate if he knows how much an elephant weighs, and look at the floor on the empty side of the room with concern.
8) Draw a tiny black line on your nose. Make it bigger every day. Look at it and say, ''The hair, it's growing. Growing!''
7) Buy some knives. Sharpen them every night. While you're doing so, look at your roommate and mutter, ''Soon, soon....''
6) Collect hundreds of pens and pile them on one side of the room. Keep one pencil on the other side of the room. Laugh at the pencil.
5) Tell your roommate, ''I've got an important message for you.'' Then pretend to faint. When you recover, say you can't remember what the message was. Later on, say, ''Oh, yeah, I remember!'' Pretend to faint again. Keep this up for several weeks.
4) While your roommate is out, glue your shoes to the ceiling. When your roommate walks in, sit on the floor, hold your head, and moan.
3) Make a sandwich. Don't eat it, leave it on the floor. Ignore the sandwich. Wait until your roommate gets rid of it, and then say, ''Hey, where the heck is my sandwich!?'' Complain loudly that you are hungry.
2) Every time your roommate walks in yell, ''Hooray! You're back!'' as loud as you can and dance around the room for five minutes. Afterwards, keep looking at your watch and saying, ''Shouldn't you be going somewhere?''
1) Talk back to your Rice Krispies. All of a sudden, act offended, throw the bowl on the floor and kick it. Refuse to clean it up, explaining, ''No, I want to watch them suffer.'''
10 ways to scare your roomate?
rotflmao omg i am still laffin about this for real i tried to tell them to my family but i couldnt stop laffing to get the words out!!! can u think of any more??
Reply:thats really funny, thanks for posting it.
Reply:hahahah.... =]
Reply:Hahahahahaha i wanna do number 7!
Reply:nice, these are pretty funny!!
Reply:Have you done any of these for real????
I think its warped but very funny...
Reply:ahahahahahaha.
I gotta try these on my room mate. =]
Reply:hahahahahahahahahahahahhahahahahahahahah...
I can't wait to try some of these...
Reply:omg, that is soo freaking hilarouis, i like # 1 the best
Reply:dude, I needed that info about 2 years ago.
damned roomates.
/doc
Reply:lol
i like 3
car makes
Can you believe this....?
I do daycare for a living and I have had these 2 children for 3 days now and already had to let them go. Mom is where the problem is coming from I am sure but here is my issues with mom:
1. Always VERY late (one day 4 hours late with no call) she still expects me to feed her children lunch if she is over an hour late
2. She asked me not to change sons diaper much (I usually change every 1-2 hours) she said to change only when really full!
3. She doesnt send her kids with wipes and oneday without shoes.
AND... Her kids:
1. spits in my face
2. pee's on floors (intentually)
3. screams when told "no" and the other screams for time out like shes being killed..not exgaggerating
4. throws plate/bowl on floor when finished
5. bites/Hits
6. NOT DICIPLINED
and let me just say, I know kids do some of these stuff but I feel alot of it comes from family and no dicipline. They are 2 and 4 years old.
Can you believe this....?
Yes I absolutely can believe it! I am a teacher and I see it all day. I believe it comes from parents being too lazy to discipline their children. Children take WORK! Too many parents let their kids do whatever they want because it's easier on them. It's too much hard work to discipline and be consistent. Plus, parents are afraid their kids won't "like them" if they are tough on them. I'd rather my children be polite, kind, responsible, and productive citizens than be my "best friend".
I think you are absolutely justified in letting these kids go. Whatever she's paying you isn't worth the headache of those brats. Maybe when she can't get anyone to watch her children because they are so badly behaved she will wake up and discipline them.
By the way, the word "discipline" doesn't mean to punish. It is actually from a Greek work meaning "to train a child".
BIRD
1. Always VERY late (one day 4 hours late with no call) she still expects me to feed her children lunch if she is over an hour late
2. She asked me not to change sons diaper much (I usually change every 1-2 hours) she said to change only when really full!
3. She doesnt send her kids with wipes and oneday without shoes.
AND... Her kids:
1. spits in my face
2. pee's on floors (intentually)
3. screams when told "no" and the other screams for time out like shes being killed..not exgaggerating
4. throws plate/bowl on floor when finished
5. bites/Hits
6. NOT DICIPLINED
and let me just say, I know kids do some of these stuff but I feel alot of it comes from family and no dicipline. They are 2 and 4 years old.
Can you believe this....?
Yes I absolutely can believe it! I am a teacher and I see it all day. I believe it comes from parents being too lazy to discipline their children. Children take WORK! Too many parents let their kids do whatever they want because it's easier on them. It's too much hard work to discipline and be consistent. Plus, parents are afraid their kids won't "like them" if they are tough on them. I'd rather my children be polite, kind, responsible, and productive citizens than be my "best friend".
I think you are absolutely justified in letting these kids go. Whatever she's paying you isn't worth the headache of those brats. Maybe when she can't get anyone to watch her children because they are so badly behaved she will wake up and discipline them.
By the way, the word "discipline" doesn't mean to punish. It is actually from a Greek work meaning "to train a child".
BIRD
This is a FUNNY joke!!! LAUGH DAMN YOU!!!?
A man is sitting in the pub when he hears a bowl of peanuts on the bar saying "Oooh, you really are amazing. Oooh, you are lovely."
Then the fruit machine shouted "Rubbish, look at the state of that haircut. And those socks don't go with those shoes."
The barman apologised. "I'm sorry," he said, "The nuts are complimentary but the fruit machine is out of order." HEHE
Sorry 4 the whole "DAMN YOU!" malarky... I didnt mean it, honest... cud you me give a star...I get lonely...weep!
This is a FUNNY joke!!! LAUGH DAMN YOU!!!?
A man walks into a pub with an ostrich and a cat. orders three drinks and the cat says"im not paying, im not paying"
man says "dont worry im paying as usual"
Barman says to teh man Whats up with those two.
The man says "Well I was walking down the street and stumbled upon an 'Aladins lamp' so I rubbed it as you do and a genie popped out and said I could have one wish,"
Barman says " so what did you wish for/" man says 'I wished for a long legged bird with a tight pu$$y".
Your one is good though.
Reply:lol, heard it, but funny
Reply:i wish you could give questions thumb downs still
Reply:I GET THE NUTS, BUT NOT THE FRUIT MACHINE?
BUT AT LAST ONE MORE NUT JOKE=
What did one saggy boob say to the other saggy boob?
We better get some support before people start thinking we're nuts!
HAND have a nice day!!!
Reply:lol...
Reply:Beam me up SCOTTY dont do drugs vote 4 cable man getter done!!
credit report
Then the fruit machine shouted "Rubbish, look at the state of that haircut. And those socks don't go with those shoes."
The barman apologised. "I'm sorry," he said, "The nuts are complimentary but the fruit machine is out of order." HEHE
Sorry 4 the whole "DAMN YOU!" malarky... I didnt mean it, honest... cud you me give a star...I get lonely...weep!
This is a FUNNY joke!!! LAUGH DAMN YOU!!!?
A man walks into a pub with an ostrich and a cat. orders three drinks and the cat says"im not paying, im not paying"
man says "dont worry im paying as usual"
Barman says to teh man Whats up with those two.
The man says "Well I was walking down the street and stumbled upon an 'Aladins lamp' so I rubbed it as you do and a genie popped out and said I could have one wish,"
Barman says " so what did you wish for/" man says 'I wished for a long legged bird with a tight pu$$y".
Your one is good though.
Reply:lol, heard it, but funny
Reply:i wish you could give questions thumb downs still
Reply:I GET THE NUTS, BUT NOT THE FRUIT MACHINE?
BUT AT LAST ONE MORE NUT JOKE=
What did one saggy boob say to the other saggy boob?
We better get some support before people start thinking we're nuts!
HAND have a nice day!!!
Reply:lol...
Reply:Beam me up SCOTTY dont do drugs vote 4 cable man getter done!!
credit report
10 ways to your scare your roomate?
10) Collect potatoes. Paint faces on them and give them names. Name one after your roommate. Separate your roommate's potato from the others. Wait a few days, and then bake your roommate's potato and eat it. Explain to your roommate, ''He just didn't belong.''
9) Move everything to one side of the room. Ask your roommate if he knows how much an elephant weighs, and look at the floor on the empty side of the room with concern.
8) Draw a tiny black line on your nose. Make it bigger every day. Look at it and say, ''The hair, it's growing. Growing!''
7) Buy some knives. Sharpen them every night. While you're doing so, look at your roommate and mutter, ''Soon, soon....''
6) Collect hundreds of pens and pile them on one side of the room. Keep one pencil on the other side of the room. Laugh at the pencil.
5) Tell your roommate, ''I've got an important message for you.'' Then pretend to faint. When you recover, say you can't remember what the message was. Later on, say, ''Oh, yeah, I remember!'' Pretend to faint again. Keep this up for several weeks.
4) While your roommate is out, glue your shoes to the ceiling. When your roommate walks in, sit on the floor, hold your head, and moan.
3) Make a sandwich. Don't eat it, leave it on the floor. Ignore the sandwich. Wait until your roommate gets rid of it, and then say, ''Hey, where the heck is my sandwich!?'' Complain loudly that you are hungry.
2) Every time your roommate walks in yell, ''Hooray! You're back!'' as loud as you can and dance around the room for five minutes. Afterwards, keep looking at your watch and saying, ''Shouldn't you be going somewhere?''
1) Talk back to your Rice Krispies. All of a sudden, act offended, throw the bowl on the floor and kick it. Refuse to clean it up, explaining, ''No, I want to watch them suffer.'''
10 ways to your scare your roomate?
This is more of a practical joke, but you could scrape out some deoderant from his stick and replace is with cream cheese, round it off to make it look like deoderant. LOL!
Reply:Great List. Number 5 is by far the best if you can pull it off.
Reply:Wow you really didn't like your roommate
buy a doll
while looking at it and talking nice suddenly scream -'STOP LOOKING AT ME' and then gouge one of it's eyes out with a potato peeler.
then cry and hug it
after a few seconds repeat the first step and look at your roommate and say, "it wouldn't stop looking at me"
do this daily until your roommate wants out
Reply:I am so gonna do halves of the stuff. Good work mate ur a legend
Reply:1) Collect potatoes. Paint faces on them and give them names. Name one after your roommate. Separate your roommate's potato from the others. Wait a few days, and then bake your roommate's potato and eat it. Explain to your roommate, ''He just didn't belong.''
2) Move everything to one side of the room. Ask your roommate if he knows how much an elephant weighs, and look at the floor on the empty side of the room with concern.
3) Draw a tiny black line on your nose. Make it bigger every day. Look at it and say, ''The hair, it's growing. Growing!''
4) Buy some knives. Sharpen them every night. While you're doing so, look at your roommate and mutter, ''Soon, soon....''
5) Collect hundreds of pens and pile them on one side of the room. Keep one pencil on the other side of the room. Laugh at the pencil.
6) Tell your roommate, ''I've got an important message for you.'' Then pretend to faint. When you recover, say you can't remember what the message was. Later on, say, ''Oh, yeah, I remember!'' Pretend to faint again. Keep this up for several weeks.
7) While your roommate is out, glue your shoes to the ceiling. When your roommate walks in, sit on the floor, hold your head, and moan.
8) Make a sandwich. Don't eat it, leave it on the floor. Ignore the sandwich. Wait until your roommate gets rid of it, and then say, ''Hey, where the heck is my sandwich!?'' Complain loudly that you are hungry.
9) Every time your roommate walks in yell, ''Hooray! You're back!'' as loud as you can and dance around the room for five minutes. Afterwards, keep looking at your watch and saying, ''Shouldn't you be going somewhere?''
10) Talk back to your Rice Krispies. All of a sudden, act offended, throw the bowl on the floor and kick it. Refuse to clean it up, explaining, ''No, I want to watch them suffer.'''
Reply:yea that is funny i might use those thanks!!!
Reply:These are hilarious!
I had a psychotic roomate back in college and I always wanted to get back at her somehow... I wish I had read these back then. Lol. (Then again, it sounds as though SHE made up most of these. I remember once she threw out our dishes and called it the "dish graveyard". Her list of creepy psychoticness goes on and on, and they sound like a bunch of things on this list.)
Thanks for the laugh.
Reply:BAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Reply:hmmm... wasnt really a question....
Reply:Can I have best answer? *puppy face*
CAT
9) Move everything to one side of the room. Ask your roommate if he knows how much an elephant weighs, and look at the floor on the empty side of the room with concern.
8) Draw a tiny black line on your nose. Make it bigger every day. Look at it and say, ''The hair, it's growing. Growing!''
7) Buy some knives. Sharpen them every night. While you're doing so, look at your roommate and mutter, ''Soon, soon....''
6) Collect hundreds of pens and pile them on one side of the room. Keep one pencil on the other side of the room. Laugh at the pencil.
5) Tell your roommate, ''I've got an important message for you.'' Then pretend to faint. When you recover, say you can't remember what the message was. Later on, say, ''Oh, yeah, I remember!'' Pretend to faint again. Keep this up for several weeks.
4) While your roommate is out, glue your shoes to the ceiling. When your roommate walks in, sit on the floor, hold your head, and moan.
3) Make a sandwich. Don't eat it, leave it on the floor. Ignore the sandwich. Wait until your roommate gets rid of it, and then say, ''Hey, where the heck is my sandwich!?'' Complain loudly that you are hungry.
2) Every time your roommate walks in yell, ''Hooray! You're back!'' as loud as you can and dance around the room for five minutes. Afterwards, keep looking at your watch and saying, ''Shouldn't you be going somewhere?''
1) Talk back to your Rice Krispies. All of a sudden, act offended, throw the bowl on the floor and kick it. Refuse to clean it up, explaining, ''No, I want to watch them suffer.'''
10 ways to your scare your roomate?
This is more of a practical joke, but you could scrape out some deoderant from his stick and replace is with cream cheese, round it off to make it look like deoderant. LOL!
Reply:Great List. Number 5 is by far the best if you can pull it off.
Reply:Wow you really didn't like your roommate
buy a doll
while looking at it and talking nice suddenly scream -'STOP LOOKING AT ME' and then gouge one of it's eyes out with a potato peeler.
then cry and hug it
after a few seconds repeat the first step and look at your roommate and say, "it wouldn't stop looking at me"
do this daily until your roommate wants out
Reply:I am so gonna do halves of the stuff. Good work mate ur a legend
Reply:1) Collect potatoes. Paint faces on them and give them names. Name one after your roommate. Separate your roommate's potato from the others. Wait a few days, and then bake your roommate's potato and eat it. Explain to your roommate, ''He just didn't belong.''
2) Move everything to one side of the room. Ask your roommate if he knows how much an elephant weighs, and look at the floor on the empty side of the room with concern.
3) Draw a tiny black line on your nose. Make it bigger every day. Look at it and say, ''The hair, it's growing. Growing!''
4) Buy some knives. Sharpen them every night. While you're doing so, look at your roommate and mutter, ''Soon, soon....''
5) Collect hundreds of pens and pile them on one side of the room. Keep one pencil on the other side of the room. Laugh at the pencil.
6) Tell your roommate, ''I've got an important message for you.'' Then pretend to faint. When you recover, say you can't remember what the message was. Later on, say, ''Oh, yeah, I remember!'' Pretend to faint again. Keep this up for several weeks.
7) While your roommate is out, glue your shoes to the ceiling. When your roommate walks in, sit on the floor, hold your head, and moan.
8) Make a sandwich. Don't eat it, leave it on the floor. Ignore the sandwich. Wait until your roommate gets rid of it, and then say, ''Hey, where the heck is my sandwich!?'' Complain loudly that you are hungry.
9) Every time your roommate walks in yell, ''Hooray! You're back!'' as loud as you can and dance around the room for five minutes. Afterwards, keep looking at your watch and saying, ''Shouldn't you be going somewhere?''
10) Talk back to your Rice Krispies. All of a sudden, act offended, throw the bowl on the floor and kick it. Refuse to clean it up, explaining, ''No, I want to watch them suffer.'''
Reply:yea that is funny i might use those thanks!!!
Reply:These are hilarious!
I had a psychotic roomate back in college and I always wanted to get back at her somehow... I wish I had read these back then. Lol. (Then again, it sounds as though SHE made up most of these. I remember once she threw out our dishes and called it the "dish graveyard". Her list of creepy psychoticness goes on and on, and they sound like a bunch of things on this list.)
Thanks for the laugh.
Reply:BAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Reply:hmmm... wasnt really a question....
Reply:Can I have best answer? *puppy face*
CAT
10 ways to scare your roomate?
10) Collect potatoes. Paint faces on them and give them names. Name one after your roommate. Separate your roommate's potato from the others. Wait a few days, and then bake your roommate's potato and eat it. Explain to your roommate, ''He just didn't belong.''
9) Move everything to one side of the room. Ask your roommate if he knows how much an elephant weighs, and look at the floor on the empty side of the room with concern.
8) Draw a tiny black line on your nose. Make it bigger every day. Look at it and say, ''The hair, it's growing. Growing!''
7) Buy some knives. Sharpen them every night. While you're doing so, look at your roommate and mutter, ''Soon, soon....''
6) Collect hundreds of pens and pile them on one side of the room. Keep one pencil on the other side of the room. Laugh at the pencil.
5) Tell your roommate, ''I've got an important message for you.'' Then pretend to faint. When you recover, say you can't remember what the message was. Later on, say, ''Oh, yeah, I remember!'' Pretend to faint again. Keep this up for several weeks.
4) While your roommate is out, glue your shoes to the ceiling. When your roommate walks in, sit on the floor, hold your head, and moan.
3) Make a sandwich. Don't eat it, leave it on the floor. Ignore the sandwich. Wait until your roommate gets rid of it, and then say, ''Hey, where the heck is my sandwich!?'' Complain loudly that you are hungry.
2) Every time your roommate walks in yell, ''Hooray! You're back!'' as loud as you can and dance around the room for five minutes. Afterwards, keep looking at your watch and saying, ''Shouldn't you be going somewhere?''
1) Talk back to your Rice Krispies. All of a sudden, act offended, throw the bowl on the floor and kick it. Refuse to clean it up, explaining, ''No, I want to watch them suffer.'''
10 ways to scare your roomate?
rotflmao omg i am still laffin about this for real i tried to tell them to my family but i couldnt stop laffing to get the words out!!! can u think of any more??
Reply:thats really funny, thanks for posting it.
Reply:hahahah.... =]
Reply:Hahahahahaha i wanna do number 7!
Reply:nice, these are pretty funny!!
Reply:Have you done any of these for real????
I think its warped but very funny...
Reply:ahahahahahaha.
I gotta try these on my room mate. =]
Reply:hahahahahahahahahahahahhahahahahahahahah...
I can't wait to try some of these...
Reply:omg, that is soo freaking hilarouis, i like # 1 the best
Reply:dude, I needed that info about 2 years ago.
damned roomates.
/doc
Reply:lol
i like 3
car financing
9) Move everything to one side of the room. Ask your roommate if he knows how much an elephant weighs, and look at the floor on the empty side of the room with concern.
8) Draw a tiny black line on your nose. Make it bigger every day. Look at it and say, ''The hair, it's growing. Growing!''
7) Buy some knives. Sharpen them every night. While you're doing so, look at your roommate and mutter, ''Soon, soon....''
6) Collect hundreds of pens and pile them on one side of the room. Keep one pencil on the other side of the room. Laugh at the pencil.
5) Tell your roommate, ''I've got an important message for you.'' Then pretend to faint. When you recover, say you can't remember what the message was. Later on, say, ''Oh, yeah, I remember!'' Pretend to faint again. Keep this up for several weeks.
4) While your roommate is out, glue your shoes to the ceiling. When your roommate walks in, sit on the floor, hold your head, and moan.
3) Make a sandwich. Don't eat it, leave it on the floor. Ignore the sandwich. Wait until your roommate gets rid of it, and then say, ''Hey, where the heck is my sandwich!?'' Complain loudly that you are hungry.
2) Every time your roommate walks in yell, ''Hooray! You're back!'' as loud as you can and dance around the room for five minutes. Afterwards, keep looking at your watch and saying, ''Shouldn't you be going somewhere?''
1) Talk back to your Rice Krispies. All of a sudden, act offended, throw the bowl on the floor and kick it. Refuse to clean it up, explaining, ''No, I want to watch them suffer.'''
10 ways to scare your roomate?
rotflmao omg i am still laffin about this for real i tried to tell them to my family but i couldnt stop laffing to get the words out!!! can u think of any more??
Reply:thats really funny, thanks for posting it.
Reply:hahahah.... =]
Reply:Hahahahahaha i wanna do number 7!
Reply:nice, these are pretty funny!!
Reply:Have you done any of these for real????
I think its warped but very funny...
Reply:ahahahahahaha.
I gotta try these on my room mate. =]
Reply:hahahahahahahahahahahahhahahahahahahahah...
I can't wait to try some of these...
Reply:omg, that is soo freaking hilarouis, i like # 1 the best
Reply:dude, I needed that info about 2 years ago.
damned roomates.
/doc
Reply:lol
i like 3
car financing
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