Afternoon folks sorry late but been painting so lets start with some groaners?

A guy was sitting in a nearly empty bar having some beers. He finished one and asked the bartender for another. He gave the guy another beer, along with a free bowl of peanuts. As he sat enjoying the nuts and beer, he heard a voice: "Whoa, man, do you look great today!" He looked around, but there was no one there.


"Nice shoes. And I just love that sweater, it looks so good on you!"


Bartender, did you hear that? I keep hearing voices saying how good I look and stuff, but there's no one around. What's going on here??


"It's the peanuts. They're complimentary!"





Why did the Christmas goose cross the road? To prove it wasn't chicken!





Why did the golfer wear two pairs of pants? In case he got a hole in one.





A guy walked into the doctor's office complaining of stomach pains. "Doctor, you've gotta help me. I swallowed a clock!"


"My, that's serious. When did this happen?", asks the doc.


"Last week."


"Last week?! Why didn't you come in sooner?"


"Well," says the guy, "I didn't want to alarm anybody."

Afternoon folks sorry late but been painting so lets start with some groaners?
might be groaners but i still loved them!!
Reply:Hee Hee xx
Reply:First joke Hilarious, thanks for the smile :)
Reply:Ha ha ha.!!!


Good ones Chris.!!!


10/10.!!!


Loved the complimentary peanuts, lol.!!!


Cheers mate.!!
Reply:hehehehehehehehe!!! That last one was great! haven't heard that one before lolz!
Reply:ha ha ha funny


thanks for a laugh
Reply:Hilarious, star, thanks.
Reply:LOL


funny
Reply:They're all good my friend!!!
Reply:wow, these really r groaners. kinda corny.


heres a good 1.





a bar has a sign that says "this bar will reward $1000 to the person who can make this donkey laugh." so there are many people trying to make the donkey laugh but no one can do it. so one day, this man walks into the bar and says "give me a shot of your hardest liquor." he chugs it and now hes a little bit tipsy. so he sees the sign and says "i can make that donkey laugh." so he goes up to the donkey and whispers something in the donkeys ear and the donkey just starts laughing its *** off and just cant stop! the man walks up to the barkeep and says "wheres my $1000?" so the barkeep hands over $1000.


the next week, the same bar has a sign that says "this bar will reward $2000 to the person who can make this donkey cry." so there are many people trying but no one can make the donkey cry. so the same guy goes to that bar again and asks for a shot of their hardest liquor and so again, hes a little bit drunk. so he sees the sign and says "i can make that donkey cry." so he goes up to the donkey and pulls down his pants and the donkey just starts crying and just can't stop! so the man goes up to the barkeep and asks for the $2000. the barkeep hands it over and says "how did you make that donkey laugh and cry?" so the man says "the first time, i told it that i had a bigger dick and the second time, i showed it to him."
Reply:Yes! I like these jokes.
Reply:This is craaazzy! LOL!
Reply:Not bad dude, but shouldn't it have been in the joke section?.....
Reply:Hehehehehe Chris,


Thank You for a late night laugh.. A Star..


A Friend,


poppy1
Reply:*Groan* lol!


Great ones for a quick chuckle tho!


~Have a star~
Reply:Very Funnie!!!





LOL!!





:)
Reply:Can I come and watch your paint drying please.............! ! !
Reply:those r groaners...



credot