These are the first 2 chapters of my book. Please read and comment it. Bye the way I need help how to continue

1





Grey clouds covered the skies above Lanster that early morning. The only thing to be heard was the the whistling of the wind as it swept away the last leaves. Fall had arrived with a swift breeze and for Daxter that meant the best.


Daxter was a small, shy freshman with the mind of a genius. Not that he studied all day, or that he was completely isolated from the rest of the so called civilized world, but he was talented. He liked the cold mornings the most, and it looked like the beginning of a very nice day. He woke up that morning relieved to see his mother still sleeping. His mother on the other hand was a long, tall woman. She was very curious of Daxters every move. This morning it was diffrent. He would be able to start the day without being asked the same question a thousand times. He found his mother being a very annoying person and he always tried to get out of her sight. Daxter hardly even knew his father. The only thing about him he knew was that his name was George. Daxter`s mom didn`t like to mention George. She always thougt of him as the past. Yet, Daxter never tried to start a conversation about his father. He felt it would just finish worse then he had planned.


He headed towards the batrhroom tipp-toeing hoping to not awake his mother. He brushed his teeth while humming a song he heard on the radio last night. When he was done he returned back to his room and opened his squeeky closet door. He pulled out his lucky green sweatshirt and quickly put it on. He got ready for school and packed his books so he didn`t have to come upstairs again, the truth was he didn`t want to have his mother up on her feet running back to him like a frizbee. Then slowly but surely he made his way downstairs to the kitchen, making sure his plan worked. He was quite hungry but he hardly even ate his over-toasted bread. He drank another small gulp of chocolate milk and put on his back-pack heading out the door.


Daxter had no friends to walk to school with but that never bothered him. He actually enjoyed having no one by his side. He enjoyed walking silently and listening to the singing of the birds. He never had any problems with school, as a matter of fact it was practically his second home. All the kids in school never called him by his name, they just refered to him with several inpolite words such as weirdo and four eyes. Daxter wearded glasses. They were the only detail of himself that he didn`t like, the tipical dork item, he thought.


He arrived infront of his school, seeing other kids starring at him as if they had seen the funniest thing on Earth. Daxter often felt that uncomfortable feeling, to be exact he felt it every morning. Maybe it was the first day in his life that the bad weather repersented his feelings. Then it started. He suddenly felt dizzy. He started to feel noscious so he sat down on the school steps. Luckily it lasted just a minute. As the school bell anounced the beging of a new day Daxter got up and went into the school. He hurried through the halls to his classroom. He was often that first pupil to get in class. He took up his back – pack and sat down. He started reviewing his science homework and just before he even poened his notebook he felt a soft pat on his shoulder. He turned around surprised to see nobody. His head started to hurt as if it were being slammed against a weall. He had a vision so clear it felt as if he was there. Trees were all that were to be seen but still he was sure he knew this place. He opened his eyes and sat down. Nearly of his classmates entered the room and sat down. Daxter didn`t look up to see the expressions on there face but he surely knew that they were starring at him.


Daxter wasn`t happy when he came home and he showed it. His mother never even asks what happened. She would just continue living her unorganized life like every tipical lazy person. Daxter often understood that life was a game, a game with strict rules that other people didn`t obey. He ran up to his room and slammed the door shut to be sure that his mother realized he was mad. He turned on his computer and started searching the internet for some homework assignment. He was often the best in everything and he wanted it to stay that way.


Daxter didn`t eat anything since the morning hours and the over-toasted bread he ate stood like a brick in his stomach unable to be digested. He took of the jacket he was wearing and jumped into his bed. He started to feel dizzy again, only this time it lasted shorter. He started to see trees and the forests of a place so real. A place that he was sure he visited. A place which he wanted to go to. But It was only a dream he realized. A cruel dream that told him to wake up and face reality. But he simply couldn`t. He wanted to dream...


2





Daxter woke up feeling better. As a matter of fact he felt great. He woke up and hurried down stairs hoping that this morning he would have a decent breakfast. Suprisingly his mother was already up!


He poured milk into his small bowl of cereal and hurried eating. He put on his button-shirt and lucky charms socks on a nice pear of shoes. He put on his back-pack and headed out the door giving his mother a quick peck on the cheek ( which is quite unusual ). „ Daxter, I told Mr. Gordon that you might be late tomorrow because were packing for Oak Park. Take care honey, and have a good day at school“ she said all excited.


„ Ok, mom. I got a homework assignment so I might be at the library after school.But don`t worry I wont forget to pack. Don`t forget to give Spencer his food. Bye mom!“


Spencer was his pet hamster and he loved him more then anything, He ran out of the house and headed towards school. It was very cold that morning but Daxter walked to school much slower this than yesterday humming a song that was stuck in his head. It was an exact picture of a perfect day. School flew by even faster than yesterday and Daxter was happier than ever. He had a feeling that he has been lifted from his feet, flying above the clouds. He came home, through his bag on the floor and decided to go to the library. Daxter was totally in love with books and often read alot. When he arrived and the end of the block he felt a pat on his shoulder that nearly gave him a heart – attack. He turned around and was surprised to see his sister. His sister Susan started yelling at him as to how iresponsible he was. Then it stroke him, he had totally forgotten that his mother had been mentioning them moving to Oak Park. Daxter couldn`t believe that he forgot something so important that has been constantly mentioned for a whole month. He hurried back home leaving his sister behind. He opened the door and saw his mother packing up as quickly as possible. „ Where were you? Must I always be the one responsible for you around here? „ she yelled in a high pitched voice. „ Sorry mom, but maybe you could have reminded me! „. „ Oh, of course blame it all on me as if I don`t have enough problems with the two of you sitting on my head 24/7! Well at least hurry up. I packed your clothes now hurry up packing the remaining. Jessica will almost be done. She`s going to go say goodbye to Sarah and Lucy before we hit the road. We`ll be waiting for you in the car. And just so you know I mentioned packing up yesterday so hurry up!

These are the first 2 chapters of my book. Please read and comment it. Bye the way I need help how to continue
wow that is really good!!!
Reply:I think you have a very good start^_^. The only things I could advise you on is "spell check" and try varying your sentences by not saying "Daxter this", and "Daxter that "all the time, but combining somethings and using "He" (etc) to talk about him
Reply:It's good but it doesn't really grab my attention. Also, read through it, there are a lot of spelling errors. You needed to mention he had a sister in the beginning because i thought he was halucinating or something. Ummm.... you could have the Oak Park like some kind of cult that Dexter uncovers and his mom and sis are lured into. Or you could make it so there is this murderer there and Dex. could save the day or something. There are actually a lot of options you could choose to go. It depends on what genre you would like to write about. Also, Good Luck when you finish it!
Reply:I did not read it.... but unless you plan to have 100000000 chapters in your book they need to be longer.
Reply:i love it!
Reply:I must say its pretty good, but you need more grammar and punctuation corrections. And I have no idea where to take that to.




freckles