Ladies, is this the truth about the ladies room or what?

ISN'T THIS THE TRUTH ??????





When you have to visit a public bathroom, you usually find a line of


women, so you smile politely and take your place. Once it's your turn,


you check for feet under the stall doors. Every stall is occupied.


Finally, a door opens and you dash in, nearly knocking down the woman


leaving the stall.


You get in to find the door won't latch. It doesn't matter, the wait


has been so long you are about to wet your pants! The dispenser for the


modern "seat covers" (invented by someone's Mom, no doubt) is handy, but


empty. You would hang your purse on the door hook, if there was one, but


there isn't - so you carefully, but quickly drape it around your neck,


Mom would turn over in her grave if you put it on the FLOOR!), yank


down your pants, and assume " The Stance."


In this position your aging, toneless thigh muscles begin to shake.


You'd love to sit down, but you certainly hadn't taken time to wip e the


seat or lay toilet paper on it, so you hold "The Stance."


To take your mind off your trembling thighs, you reach for what you


discover to be the empty toilet paper dispenser. In your mind, you can


hear your mother's voice saying, "Honey, if you had tried to clean the


seat, you would have KNOWN there was no toilet paper!" Your thighs shake


more.


You remember the tiny tissue that you blew your nose on yesterday,


the one that's still in your purse. (Oh yeah, the purse around your


neck, that now, you have to hold up trying not to strangle yourself at


the same time). That would have to do. You crumple it in the puffiest


way possible. It's still smaller than your thumbnail .


Someone pushes your door open because the latch doesn't work. The


door hits your purse, which is hanging around your neck in front of your


chest, and you and your purse topple backward against the tank of the


toilet.


"Occupied!" you scream, as you reach f or the door, dropping your


precious, tiny, crumpled tissue in a puddle on the floor, lose your


footing altogether, and slide down directly onto the TOILET SEAT. It is


wet of course. You bolt up, knowing all too well that it's too late.


Your bare bottom has made contact with every imaginable germ and life


form on the uncovered seat because YOU never laid down toilet paper -


not that there was any, even if you had taken time to try. You know that


your mother would be utterly appalled if she knew, because, you're


certain her bare bottom never touched a public toilet seat because,


frankly, dear, "You just don't KNOW what kind of diseases you could


get."


By this time, the automatic sensor on the back of the toilet is so


confused that it flushes, propelling a stream of water like a fire hose


against the inside of the bowl that sprays a fine mist of water that


covers your butt and runs down your legs and into your shoes. The


flush somehow suck s everything down with such force that you grab onto the


empty toilet paper dispenser for fear of being dragged in too.


At this point, you give up. You're soaked by the spewing water and


the wet toilet seat.


You're exhausted. You try to wipe with a gum wrapper you found in your


pocket and then slink out inconspicuously to the sinks.


You can't figure out how to operate the faucets with the automatic


sensors, so you wipe your hands with spit and a dry paper towel and walk


past the line of women still waiting.


You are no longer able to smile politely to them. A kind soul at the


very end of the line points out a piece of toilet paper trailing from


your shoe. (Where was that when you NEEDED it??) You yank the paper from


your shoe, plunk it in the woman's hand and tell her warmly, "Here, you


just might need this."


As you exit, you spot your hubby, who has long since entered, used,


and left the men's restroom. Annoyed, he asks, "What took y ou so long,


and why is your purse hanging around your neck?"


This is dedicated to women everywhere who deal with a public


restrooms (rest??? you've GOT to be kidding!!). It finally explains to


the men what really does take us so long. It also answers their other


commonly asked questions about why women go to the restroom in pairs.


It's so the other gal can hold the door, hang onto your purse and hand


you Kleenex under the door!

Ladies, is this the truth about the ladies room or what?
Ha ha - all too true - and that's not even mentioning when you've got small children with you too!
Reply:OH MY GOD!!!! thats all i can say,LOL
Reply:Oh god that's hilarious but soooo bloody true honey!!!!
Reply:No. Don't cut and paste without attributing a source; it's just rude.
Reply:lol. omg! public bathrooms are horrible!!!!!! i hate them.


and why are women so nasty?! i can go into a public bathroom without there being toilet paper on the floor, urine on the seat, and the lil "trashcan" open where u see things you dont want to see. yuck!!!!
Reply:oh so true so bloody true have a star, ill know you the next time i see you, you will be the one coming out of the toilet with damp knickers and youre bag around your neck pml
Reply:Yes, it as the truth. I had to do community service one time(that's another story) and sorry to say it, but it will happen to the best of us. Ladies, it's really our own faults. We who think our houses need to be clean we woman are nasty when it come to our public bathrooms...we can't blame this on the men this time......So if it you, who leave the restroom with that piece of tissue stick to your shoe you can only blame yourself.....
Reply:if only men knew!



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